The Color Of The Inside Of My Mouth | Teen Ink

The Color Of The Inside Of My Mouth MAG

January 22, 2009
By Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
15 articles 0 photos 49 comments

I wipe at my stupid eyes with the back of my hand, and it startles me for a second that my tears are gray. I dunno why it surprised me; I mean, I buy the s***ty mascara that’s $1.99 in the 20 Items or Less checkout lane. Why spend oodles of green on something I hardly ever use?

I just wanted to look nice, you know? Like those girls who’re just naturally fake pretty. The girls who can blend shades of eyeshadow like no one’s business, and match their lipstick to the exact color of their toenail polish or whatever. Seemingly effortless, yet impeccably coordinated.

This is good stuff, I should write for a living – solely on the subject of beauty queens with superiority complexes, of course.

I just want … God, what do I want? I want to feel the sun on my face and paint the clouds and hear the music in the trees and love myself and love someone else and just feel perpetually beautiful.

But that requires the $14.99 waterproof, fire-retardant, Grade-5-hurricane-resistant mascara, not the tube that’s two bucks in Lane 4.

My shoes are dirty and outdated, but that’s how I like them. I like these shoes. They’re comfortable. Why do I need new, expensive, fashionably appealing shoes in order for someone to say, “Hey dogg, you look nice today”?

And why is it that whenever I get deathly bored and slather cheap, pore-clogging makeup all over my face everyone suddenly says, “Wow, you look pretty!”? Since when is “pretty” about whale blubber and cocoa butter?

I’ll tell you one thing, though. I most definitely am not crying about some stupid XY.

Definitely not.

I’m crying for all the whales that have to give up their fatty insulation so that some fugly anorexic super bitch can paint herself pretty every freaking day, giving him something halfway decent to oggle all the time.

Seriously, I’m not leaking saltwater over a guy.

I just think it’s cruel and unfair that the fat-endowed marine life population doesn’t even get the slightest warning that they’ll soon be on a cosmetics endcap at K-Mart.

He could have at least broken it to me gently, you know? We’ve been friends since the George Bush/Al Gore debacle.

I mean come the Bette Midler on.

I spill my blood, guts, and viscera out to this guy and he throws down the “Let’s just be friends” card without a second thought?

It’s just … it’s common courtesy to ease someone into heartbreak, not smash it over their head like a whiffleball bat.

You know what? I’m going to take my $1.99 checkout Lane 4 mascara and chuck it right at her big, stupid square head.

The author's comments:
This is literally an excerpt from my journal, so it's a little different when it comes to writing style.

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This article has 476 comments.

on Jul. 6 2009 at 1:19 pm
JeanniF. PLATINUM, Brooklyn, New York
22 articles 6 photos 7 comments
I really liked this! It's really honest and you can connect to the speaker. This is great!

jbradford96 said...
on Jul. 6 2009 at 5:21 am
jbradford96, Kamuela, Hawaii
0 articles 2 photos 7 comments
This made me lol.

I lol'd to the point where I nearly rotfl'd.

Well done.

on Jul. 5 2009 at 7:05 pm
Lauren Wright BRONZE, Wildwood, Missouri
4 articles 2 photos 8 comments
This is so cool. I love how you capture a normal person instead of the popular snobs. Keep writing.

on Jul. 1 2009 at 5:08 pm
foolslikeme GOLD, Chapel Hill, North Carolina
10 articles 2 photos 10 comments
aww, so cute in a way, and so sad in a way.

i laughed at the last line, what a great conclusion.

and the references to the whales and the going back and forth between that and the heartbreak.

on Jun. 29 2009 at 6:19 pm
Lifesbutadream BRONZE, Hesperia, California
4 articles 2 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
Change is just a new begining

Amazing...i loved was sad, and it even made me laugh a couple of times. Beautiful. it also a whole lot of truth to it, which is why i liked it.

kljohn12 said...
on Jun. 25 2009 at 1:10 am
Thanks again for all the feedback!

I'm trying to post another piece, but I'm having some screen name issues :(

-Kelley J.

on Jun. 24 2009 at 4:17 pm
KatJam11 SILVER, Aurora, Illinois
5 articles 0 photos 2 comments
I <3 ur style of writing! Hope to see a new piece soon =)

on Jun. 24 2009 at 6:05 am
GreenDayFan SILVER, Phoenix, Arizona
7 articles 3 photos 134 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Every story has an end, but in life, every ending is just a new beginning."
-Uptown Girls

person honesty = a good story

amazing work!!

on Jun. 19 2009 at 1:11 pm
Pink_Butterfly, FC, Other
0 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never say there is nothing beautiful in the world anymore. There is always something to make wonder in the shape of a tree, the trembling of a leaf."
- Albert Schweitzer.

That, is an honest story. And honestly I agree. It's so stupid that the only way you can look pretty is if you wear expensive things on your body ? ! I think your story is awesome, tells it like it is. :)

Zero_K DIAMOND said...
on Jun. 19 2009 at 11:21 am
Zero_K DIAMOND, Moosic, Pennsylvania
83 articles 0 photos 435 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life's no fun if you're not insane, otherwise you grow up to be an accountant." -Moi

Seriously? Your journal? And you didn't change it? Dang! That's awesome. I loved it because the style was so different from what you normally see. . .well, anywhere. You should do more stuff like this. The denial at the beginning really adds rawness to emotion, and you can tell that the experience is still fresh in your mind. Keep writing. Go whales!!! XD

on Jun. 19 2009 at 8:13 am
StarAtreyu PLATINUM, Tucson, Arizona
20 articles 8 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
I admire human beings for the wonderful and terrible things they really are.

gosh, it's exactly wat runs through every girls head when they're heart broken.......well, it varies, but its pretty much wat it is....i love it, its got raw emotion, and its so true......arg!!!! poor whales!!!!

on Jun. 16 2009 at 12:00 am
YeseniaG SILVER, Livonia, Michigan
7 articles 1 photo 122 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is what happens when you're busy making plans.

Its honesty is very compelling. And though I don't swear shows raw emotion to it. Maybe it isn't necessary, but it conveys true feelings and is very in the moment. It's best to remember the feeling of the moment rather than exaggerate unrealistic emotions. Good job.

kljohn12 said...
on Jun. 13 2009 at 10:23 pm
Thanks for all of your comments!

I'd like to note that I copied this entry verbatum from my journal, thus the "cursing". I considered editing, but I figured leaving it the exact way that I wrote it in the first place would be best :)

on Jun. 11 2009 at 6:58 am
Landry.Vampire.Writer BRONZE, Hugo, Oklahoma
3 articles 0 photos 3 comments
Wow. It was funny and you can tell it's real. I can relate. I loved it.

on Jun. 10 2009 at 8:03 pm
storyofmylife PLATINUM, Mt. Olive, Alabama
27 articles 0 photos 38 comments

Favorite Quote:
If life gives you lemons. Paint them green and pretend they're limes.

absolutely loved this... can relate... plenty of journals entries that sound like that in mine;> but anyways... read my work... i'm a newbie in here and i'm trying to make a

on Jun. 10 2009 at 4:35 pm
*LunaNight* GOLD, Staten Island, New York
12 articles 0 photos 46 comments
poor whales... :)

on Jun. 10 2009 at 3:57 pm
LoveLikeWoe DIAMOND, LeSueur, MN, Minnesota
54 articles 2 photos 748 comments

Favorite Quote:
Whoever laughs first has the sickest mind.

I loved it! <3 it was a very well written piece.

jonidela said...
on Jun. 10 2009 at 5:03 am
This is really amazingly good...I love it

Mickey BRONZE said...
on Jun. 5 2009 at 5:01 pm
Mickey BRONZE, East Grand Rapids, Michigan
3 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
Tough times don't last. Tough people do.

This is really great! I love it! but i could do without the curses tho, srry.

Check out my work?

on Jun. 5 2009 at 4:28 am
PoetryBeastTodd52 BRONZE, Gainesville, Florida
2 articles 0 photos 2 comments
Its amazing how maybe a five or ten minute conversation you had, became something intense, That you and only you would remember as something that lasted for months. Great!!