The Color Of The Inside Of My Mouth | Teen Ink

The Color Of The Inside Of My Mouth MAG

January 22, 2009
By Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
15 articles 0 photos 49 comments

I wipe at my stupid eyes with the back of my hand, and it startles me for a second that my tears are gray. I dunno why it surprised me; I mean, I buy the s***ty mascara that’s $1.99 in the 20 Items or Less checkout lane. Why spend oodles of green on something I hardly ever use?

I just wanted to look nice, you know? Like those girls who’re just naturally fake pretty. The girls who can blend shades of eyeshadow like no one’s business, and match their lipstick to the exact color of their toenail polish or whatever. Seemingly effortless, yet impeccably coordinated.

This is good stuff, I should write for a living – solely on the subject of beauty queens with superiority complexes, of course.

I just want … God, what do I want? I want to feel the sun on my face and paint the clouds and hear the music in the trees and love myself and love someone else and just feel perpetually beautiful.

But that requires the $14.99 waterproof, fire-retardant, Grade-5-hurricane-resistant mascara, not the tube that’s two bucks in Lane 4.

My shoes are dirty and outdated, but that’s how I like them. I like these shoes. They’re comfortable. Why do I need new, expensive, fashionably appealing shoes in order for someone to say, “Hey dogg, you look nice today”?

And why is it that whenever I get deathly bored and slather cheap, pore-clogging makeup all over my face everyone suddenly says, “Wow, you look pretty!”? Since when is “pretty” about whale blubber and cocoa butter?

I’ll tell you one thing, though. I most definitely am not crying about some stupid XY.

Definitely not.

I’m crying for all the whales that have to give up their fatty insulation so that some fugly anorexic super bitch can paint herself pretty every freaking day, giving him something halfway decent to oggle all the time.

Seriously, I’m not leaking saltwater over a guy.

I just think it’s cruel and unfair that the fat-endowed marine life population doesn’t even get the slightest warning that they’ll soon be on a cosmetics endcap at K-Mart.

He could have at least broken it to me gently, you know? We’ve been friends since the George Bush/Al Gore debacle.

I mean come the Bette Midler on.

I spill my blood, guts, and viscera out to this guy and he throws down the “Let’s just be friends” card without a second thought?

It’s just … it’s common courtesy to ease someone into heartbreak, not smash it over their head like a whiffleball bat.

You know what? I’m going to take my $1.99 checkout Lane 4 mascara and chuck it right at her big, stupid square head.

The author's comments:
This is literally an excerpt from my journal, so it's a little different when it comes to writing style.

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This article has 476 comments.

stormie. GOLD said...
on Feb. 12 2010 at 7:37 pm
stormie. GOLD, Toronto, Other
14 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
ѕcаттεя мε аcяоѕѕ тнε ѕкy; аи∂ juѕт lιкε а ѕтая, ι'll ѕнιиε fоя yоu.♥

wow, i agree with the "poisonous" thing!! (:

keep up the awesome work!! i want to read more!! :P

on Feb. 10 2010 at 7:15 pm
DallysGrrl PLATINUM, Middlesex, New Jersey
20 articles 0 photos 199 comments
Haha!! i luv it. i luv the way u write and the way ur so sarcastic. ur voice is, lik, poisonous. really great.

maki:p GOLD said...
on Feb. 2 2010 at 8:39 pm
maki:p GOLD, Rocklin, California
17 articles 1 photo 47 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The only journey is the one within" and "You can't help anyone who doesn't want to be helped."

That is really interesting and well written.

on Feb. 2 2010 at 8:27 pm
live~en~livre BRONZE, Maplewood, New Jersey
2 articles 1 photo 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live." --Albus Dumbledore.
* I can't seem to follow this quote at all, but I still love it.

Incrdible. I know it's a real journal entry but all the same.... it sounds sooo natural! The words flow so perfectly... gracefully. I LOVE it! Great job! Keep Writing!

on Feb. 2 2010 at 7:08 pm
robrobrobin11 BRONZE, Concord, New Hampshire
4 articles 2 photos 25 comments
Amazing. Love it. GAH IT'S AWESOME. So raw, and effortless with wording that is insurmountably clever and cunning. I think we'd get along pretty darn well, you seem like a cool chick. lol.

on Feb. 2 2010 at 6:52 pm
justsmile164 BRONZE, New York, New York
4 articles 0 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Talent is nothing without character."

this is absolutely amazing. one of my favorite pieces on TeenInk. I can't even express how much I love this piece. Oh, and that guy probably is too stupid to realize how amazing you are don't worry! amazing job!=]

on Feb. 2 2010 at 4:21 pm
hlnpurple BRONZE, Newton, Massachusetts
1 article 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"sometimes me think what is love, and then me think love is what last cookie is for. Me give up last cookie for you."- The Cookie Monster

This is lovely. It's fresh, and interesting, a different look. I love it!

on Feb. 2 2010 at 8:07 am
this is beautiful. ive never read anything as intresting as that

on Feb. 1 2010 at 8:43 pm
Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
15 articles 0 photos 49 comments
Hi all :) Thank you for all of the constructive feedback! I'd just like to ask that if you're going to give my articles low ratings (continuously...) PLEASE please leave critique of some sort so that I can know what it is you don't like about it :)

on Jan. 19 2010 at 6:16 pm
weirdonpurpose SILVER, Georgetown, Texas
6 articles 12 photos 55 comments

Favorite Quote:
art is happening

i second this. :) great job.

on Jan. 16 2010 at 12:50 pm
Vanished BRONZE, Change, Colorado
1 article 0 photos 53 comments
"The Color of The Inside of my Mouth" is creative, beautiful, heartbreaking, and honest. I admire the way you captured a moment as thus, and I feel that you have potential as a writer meant to teach and entertain. Ah, there is an overwhelming amount of female writers! Who will represent my gender, the gentlemen? Love, I truly like the story. Good luck! -DEMON Age:17

on Jan. 16 2010 at 12:46 pm
Vanished BRONZE, Change, Colorado
1 article 0 photos 53 comments
What does the lovely audience think? -DEMON AGE:17
"Runaway" An excerpt
Darkness descended until the neon lights reflected elusive colors into the slick shadows of the wet street. Rain slid down my guant features, and I grinned wryly as I played with the strings of my acoustic guitar rhythmically. I tilted my face towards the polluted skies, and leaned the contours of my thin body against the brick wall. The city, empty and barren, shunned my existence.
People, clad in coats meant for the brittle cold, skirted past my hollow guitar case without a sympathetic glance. Figures beneath umbrellas hastened past without revealing their faces. I closed my eyes and wondered vaguely if people without hearts lacked faces.
"I need change," I whispered brokenly. The kind of change that would unmask the facade that people portrayed. The kind of change that would uncover the delusions people harbored. The kind of change that would grant actual change for food, shelter, warmth - without contempt.
My senses had become peculiarly aware since my wandering. I heard the resounding arrival of an enemy common to the nomad. I sighed, and fought the demonic urge to carve a wicked, ironic grin across my face.
My dark indigo irises mirrored sorrow to please the outraged police officer.
"Punk, get the hell off my streets!" He shouted, a pitiful vision of what is known as authority.
He snatched the traditional cardboard sign of the vagrant from the sidewalk, and ripped it until it represented nothing. Scrawled in unattractive black, my words had been, "Just because you look away doesn't mean I'm not here."
"Don't you come back, boy."
"Yes, sir." I snapped a salute, and knit my eyebrows sternly.
He reached for his gun, I suppose, to frighten me.
"I better not see you around here anymore. You got that, you dirty bum?"
"Of course, sir."
My rebellious nature flickered dangerously, and the sense of anarchy burned into my veins greedily. I turned away from the fuming man, and gathered all I had in the world: a ruined guitar case, a guitar, and three dollars.
"Hey!" He yelled as I was sauntering away,"Hey, scum. How the hell old are you?"
I straightened, and lifted my chin. I suppose that my ragged clothes, the dark circles beneath my eyes, the alabaster skin ravaged by the elements, the black hair plastered to my skull by the rain, and the lean state of my body implied that I could not possibly be human.
I growled, and he stumbled back as I hissed defiantly, "I'm seventeen."
He smiled, and leaned back like I had given him a reason to breathe. In a voice like the sewer dripping, he lolled, "That makes you a runaway, boy."
I smiled, my lips curling in a devious way.
"Yes, I suppose it does."
And I ran.

on Jan. 11 2010 at 11:48 pm
emmajumbilia SILVER, Bellingham, Washington
5 articles 8 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"As soon as you stop wanting something, you get it" - Andy Warhol

Wow I really love this! My favorite part is the 'I most definetely am not crying about some stupid XY'.

Keep writing! :]

on Jan. 11 2010 at 8:22 pm
MustLoveBeatles SILVER, Nicholasville, Kentucky
9 articles 3 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is an adventure in itself.

Okay, that was just great! I went through the same situation with a guy-friend that I really liked but he turned me down for a girl who should be advertising for Wal-Mart's makeup section, because she practically owns it.

on Jan. 11 2010 at 8:01 pm
BalloonMuffin GOLD, La Mirada, California
17 articles 4 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
Why mean what you say, when you can simply say what you mean?- Mad Hatter

I bought the $0.99 Eyeliner. I wore it twice and never wore it again. I'd like to tell the girls who spend $100 on make up who end up looking like a clown.. that I feel sorry for them. To wear so much make up to feel your pretty is sad. It depresses me. Make Up is like making up that your something your really not.

on Jan. 11 2010 at 6:49 pm
i loved this its so awesome. so true :]

rawr5 said...
on Jan. 11 2010 at 6:42 pm
i know how you feel,guys can be 100% heartless.

on Jan. 11 2010 at 5:24 pm
oliviarose SILVER, Wellington, Florida
7 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Live as if you'll die tomorrow, learn as if you'll live forever." -Ghandi

That was really great! You should post more of those journal entries. Very funny and extremely well written. I would love to read more.

on Jan. 11 2010 at 4:58 pm
thedancingdoctor BRONZE, Dassel, Minnesota
4 articles 0 photos 22 comments
This is so amazing.

It's an interesting way to write in your journal.

You are definitely going to be big one day.

I love it.

on Jan. 11 2010 at 11:58 am
Phantom_Girl GOLD, Ft. Carson, Colorado
14 articles 0 photos 279 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If it comes out of the lion's will be on the test."
-Mr. Bala

I love that this is a diary exert. I can really see your true feelings in here. It's very real.