The Color Of The Inside Of My Mouth | Teen Ink

The Color Of The Inside Of My Mouth MAG

January 22, 2009
By Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
15 articles 0 photos 49 comments

I wipe at my stupid eyes with the back of my hand, and it startles me for a second that my tears are gray. I dunno why it surprised me; I mean, I buy the s***ty mascara that’s $1.99 in the 20 Items or Less checkout lane. Why spend oodles of green on something I hardly ever use?

I just wanted to look nice, you know? Like those girls who’re just naturally fake pretty. The girls who can blend shades of eyeshadow like no one’s business, and match their lipstick to the exact color of their toenail polish or whatever. Seemingly effortless, yet impeccably coordinated.

This is good stuff, I should write for a living – solely on the subject of beauty queens with superiority complexes, of course.

I just want … God, what do I want? I want to feel the sun on my face and paint the clouds and hear the music in the trees and love myself and love someone else and just feel perpetually beautiful.

But that requires the $14.99 waterproof, fire-retardant, Grade-5-hurricane-resistant mascara, not the tube that’s two bucks in Lane 4.

My shoes are dirty and outdated, but that’s how I like them. I like these shoes. They’re comfortable. Why do I need new, expensive, fashionably appealing shoes in order for someone to say, “Hey dogg, you look nice today”?

And why is it that whenever I get deathly bored and slather cheap, pore-clogging makeup all over my face everyone suddenly says, “Wow, you look pretty!”? Since when is “pretty” about whale blubber and cocoa butter?

I’ll tell you one thing, though. I most definitely am not crying about some stupid XY.

Definitely not.

I’m crying for all the whales that have to give up their fatty insulation so that some fugly anorexic super bitch can paint herself pretty every freaking day, giving him something halfway decent to oggle all the time.

Seriously, I’m not leaking saltwater over a guy.

I just think it’s cruel and unfair that the fat-endowed marine life population doesn’t even get the slightest warning that they’ll soon be on a cosmetics endcap at K-Mart.

He could have at least broken it to me gently, you know? We’ve been friends since the George Bush/Al Gore debacle.

I mean come the Bette Midler on.

I spill my blood, guts, and viscera out to this guy and he throws down the “Let’s just be friends” card without a second thought?

It’s just … it’s common courtesy to ease someone into heartbreak, not smash it over their head like a whiffleball bat.

You know what? I’m going to take my $1.99 checkout Lane 4 mascara and chuck it right at her big, stupid square head.

The author's comments:
This is literally an excerpt from my journal, so it's a little different when it comes to writing style.

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This article has 476 comments.

on Jan. 11 2010 at 11:29 am
I don't think people share enough about what they really think and feel about stuff that nobody else thinks about. They sugar-coat things and act like they aren't what they are. People just don't want to be seen as uncool. My favorite thing to rave about is the 'cool factor' as I put it. Anyhow, great job.

Allure GOLD said...
on Jan. 11 2010 at 11:10 am
Allure GOLD, Fort Worth, Texas
15 articles 13 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
The only thing to fear is fear it slef

I agree about how people just fix themslefs up and for what? so whales can give up there fat :) I love your writing style

on Jan. 11 2010 at 8:40 am
I really enjoyed reading your story. I liked how you compared it to teenages around us today. You did a good job of making us visualize just what was going on. You are a very talented writer. keep it up champ.

on Jan. 11 2010 at 7:36 am
xAllegria BRONZE, Singapore, Other
1 article 2 photos 112 comments

Favorite Quote:
Ça fait tellement du bien d’aimer les gens qu’on aime, que ça finit par faire mal. Je sais pas comment on survit a ça. Non franchement, je sais pas. LOL (laughing out loud) ®, Lola.

Wow... excerpt from your journal? That is a very interesting way to write!

Anyways, I really enjoyed it. So... touching. Somehow I feel I can relate to it.

Wordy101 said...
on Jan. 3 2010 at 4:19 am
Whoops, sorry. Thought this was a different author! My bad! Still great work though. :D

Wordy101 said...
on Jan. 3 2010 at 4:02 am
Magnificent as always, m'girl. You never cease to amaze me. Beeteedoubleyou, I know you in real life, so this shouldn't come as a total, "what the heck??"

on Dec. 31 2009 at 9:42 am
sillyaardvarkabc BRONZE, Riverside, Connecticut
4 articles 0 photos 63 comments
Wow. I wish I could write half as good as you. You're probably busy writing but once my stories finish pending, could you read them? I seriously need a great writer. <3

on Dec. 21 2009 at 3:44 pm
CanYouSeeTheCrazy PLATINUM, Cle Elum, Washington
21 articles 0 photos 125 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I know why everyone in this world is so desperate to find love."
"Oh yeah? Why then?"
"Because, it's the closest thing we have to magic."

1] i'm real sorry for you for having a guy break your heart that you had put everything into. [2] you're an awesome writer to be able to cover up the real reason for writing for a long time and then reveal it slowly but surely until the reader got to the "centre of the tootsie pop." very good job. [3] you're a strong girl, so i don't think you need the expensive block-against--everything make-up. =) [4] keep writing. please.

Breingan122 said...
on Dec. 21 2009 at 12:08 pm
Breingan122, Solon, Maine
0 articles 0 photos 22 comments
this was extremely good. :)

on Dec. 20 2009 at 8:42 pm
...PensiveGurl... PLATINUM, Aurora, Colorado
20 articles 0 photos 267 comments

Favorite Quote:
You get ideas from daydreaming. You get ideas from being bored. You get ideas all the time. The only difference between writers and other people is we notice when we're doing it- Neil Gaiman.
Who are you to be who you are?-Le'Na Pernell

Whoo! Go girl! The guy's missing out! Keep writing this was super good! >.<

on Dec. 20 2009 at 8:23 pm
Yousmell-likealoser BRONZE, Belgium, Wisconsin
4 articles 5 photos 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life may not always be what you want, but life is all you've got; so stick a flower in your bellybutton and be happy!"

Ha I like the idea. I've never really read anything about the outlook on this.

amac09 BRONZE said...
on Dec. 20 2009 at 8:12 pm
amac09 BRONZE, Monmouth Junction, New Jersey
1 article 0 photos 2 comments
wow this is amazing! i can totally relate... iand i think most girls can even the ones who do cake on all the make up to make them selves "pretty". this is just simply amazing.

aivilo SILVER said...
on Dec. 20 2009 at 7:49 pm
aivilo SILVER, Circleville, Ohio
9 articles 0 photos 22 comments
uh, read between the lines! and even if you don't infer at all, you don't have to be a genius to figure it out.

good job!

Camplover7 said...
on Dec. 20 2009 at 2:26 pm
Camplover7, Watrous, Other
0 articles 6 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
1. To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world. - Brandi Snyder

Awesome job. Jeez isn't it true that girls seem like we're competing with the girls that seem naturally pretty and take no effort to look that way. I think i'll donate my 1.99 mascara with ya. :)

on Dec. 20 2009 at 1:56 pm
xenon333 PLATINUM, Billerica, Massachusetts
42 articles 0 photos 150 comments
wow this is just how i think! perfect! it made my day

on Dec. 20 2009 at 12:39 pm
bamboom212 PLATINUM, Chestnut Ridge, New York
23 articles 0 photos 155 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The truth with a bad intent, is worse than any lie you can ever invent."
"You are smarter than you think. You are stronger than you look. You are braver than you feel."

ha i luv this. this is really similiar 2 my attitude & outlook on alot of thingz. awesome job & way 2 speak ur mind. keep it up :)

on Dec. 20 2009 at 12:39 pm BRONZE, Canton, Ohio
3 articles 0 photos 20 comments
i really like does come to me as very true..very real..great!

evie428 BRONZE said...
on Dec. 20 2009 at 12:30 pm
evie428 BRONZE, Ontario, Other
4 articles 1 photo 88 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Writing a novel is not merely going on a shopping expedition across the border to an unreal land: it is hours and years spent in the factories, the streets, the cathedrals of the imagination."

Wow, this really made me keep reading. Your style is really neat! I like it!!

on Dec. 20 2009 at 10:36 am
montana PLATINUM, Parker, Colorado
41 articles 2 photos 93 comments

Favorite Quote:
cliche quotes I have are.....
I know, right? and..... Are you kidding me?

I like this journal entry. PLZ CHECK MY WORK OUT. THX IN ADVANCE.

*let it snow white*

on Dec. 20 2009 at 9:56 am
alwayslookingup BRONZE, Aberdeen, New Jersey
1 article 2 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
Be yourself 'cause if you're not, then who are you?

if this was a journal entry, i can only imagine what you can do when you sit down and write for fun. [: love it <3