The Color Of The Inside Of My Mouth | Teen Ink

The Color Of The Inside Of My Mouth MAG

January 22, 2009
By Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
15 articles 0 photos 49 comments

I wipe at my stupid eyes with the back of my hand, and it startles me for a second that my tears are gray. I dunno why it surprised me; I mean, I buy the s***ty mascara that’s $1.99 in the 20 Items or Less checkout lane. Why spend oodles of green on something I hardly ever use?

I just wanted to look nice, you know? Like those girls who’re just naturally fake pretty. The girls who can blend shades of eyeshadow like no one’s business, and match their lipstick to the exact color of their toenail polish or whatever. Seemingly effortless, yet impeccably coordinated.

This is good stuff, I should write for a living – solely on the subject of beauty queens with superiority complexes, of course.

I just want … God, what do I want? I want to feel the sun on my face and paint the clouds and hear the music in the trees and love myself and love someone else and just feel perpetually beautiful.

But that requires the $14.99 waterproof, fire-retardant, Grade-5-hurricane-resistant mascara, not the tube that’s two bucks in Lane 4.

My shoes are dirty and outdated, but that’s how I like them. I like these shoes. They’re comfortable. Why do I need new, expensive, fashionably appealing shoes in order for someone to say, “Hey dogg, you look nice today”?

And why is it that whenever I get deathly bored and slather cheap, pore-clogging makeup all over my face everyone suddenly says, “Wow, you look pretty!”? Since when is “pretty” about whale blubber and cocoa butter?

I’ll tell you one thing, though. I most definitely am not crying about some stupid XY.

Definitely not.

I’m crying for all the whales that have to give up their fatty insulation so that some fugly anorexic super bitch can paint herself pretty every freaking day, giving him something halfway decent to oggle all the time.

Seriously, I’m not leaking saltwater over a guy.

I just think it’s cruel and unfair that the fat-endowed marine life population doesn’t even get the slightest warning that they’ll soon be on a cosmetics endcap at K-Mart.

He could have at least broken it to me gently, you know? We’ve been friends since the George Bush/Al Gore debacle.

I mean come the Bette Midler on.

I spill my blood, guts, and viscera out to this guy and he throws down the “Let’s just be friends” card without a second thought?

It’s just … it’s common courtesy to ease someone into heartbreak, not smash it over their head like a whiffleball bat.

You know what? I’m going to take my $1.99 checkout Lane 4 mascara and chuck it right at her big, stupid square head.

The author's comments:
This is literally an excerpt from my journal, so it's a little different when it comes to writing style.

Similar Articles


This article has 476 comments.

on Oct. 1 2009 at 6:33 pm
Annabelle7614, Nunyabusiness, Georgia
0 articles 0 photos 97 comments

Favorite Quote:
This is my favorite personal quote.

Loved it!! This was the first article I read out of the Teen ink magazine and that was what,like, months ago? And it is still my favorite!!

on Sep. 23 2009 at 9:25 pm
flawsversesperfection BRONZE, Bloomfield, New Jersey
1 article 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The world is an awful, ugly place not to have a best friend."~Sarah Dessen

keep writing! i thought this was refreshingly honest.

on Sep. 23 2009 at 9:15 pm
Hannah523 SILVER, Winterport, Maine
8 articles 0 photos 11 comments
I love your writing style!

Fredwardness said...
on Sep. 23 2009 at 7:58 pm

Bex24 BRONZE said...
on Sep. 23 2009 at 5:26 pm
Bex24 BRONZE, Toronto, Other
3 articles 21 photos 79 comments
Your style is really quick-witted and so enjoyable to read! You had me jumping to read the next line :) Love the attitude!

on Sep. 23 2009 at 3:20 pm
elvinchangling55 SILVER, Malverne, New York
6 articles 0 photos 50 comments
i love the style!! it is soo real and the humor is quirky!!! keep it up!

on Sep. 22 2009 at 7:17 pm
Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
15 articles 0 photos 49 comments
I just posted several! finally got my screenname issues worked out ;)

Thanks for the comment, and for the interest in my work! It means the world to me :)

on Aug. 25 2009 at 1:58 am
beckylovesxx SILVER, Wilmington, Delaware
5 articles 0 photos 4 comments
wow . amazing, i love it (:

KelleyLJ said...
on Aug. 24 2009 at 3:25 pm
Hey guys, thanks again for all of the great feedback!

I'm going to do my best to get more of my work up today :)

And about the book... I've actually been working on one this summer. :)

Hopefully I'll complete it this year...?

Thanks again!

on Aug. 22 2009 at 4:46 am
cayleebobaylee BRONZE, Cumberland, Rhode Island
1 article 12 photos 4 comments
Ever thought about writing a book? I'd buy it.

on Aug. 15 2009 at 3:23 pm
Annabelle7614, Nunyabusiness, Georgia
0 articles 0 photos 97 comments

Favorite Quote:
This is my favorite personal quote.

I love this article soooooooooooooo much!!! I read it in the magazine and have read it again every day since then! I love this so much, please please please write more!

on Aug. 11 2009 at 10:01 pm
Electricity PLATINUM, Bradenton, Florida
30 articles 0 photos 271 comments
wow, that's amazing that it's from your journal! I was wondering why it sounded different. Keep writing, your awesome!

on Aug. 6 2009 at 7:02 pm
Griffinwing SILVER, Manchester, Michigan
9 articles 0 photos 37 comments
This is one of my favorites, I love it. It's funny and depressing and so true at the same time.

on Aug. 2 2009 at 3:01 am
MorningStar15 DIAMOND, Orange, Vermont
71 articles 2 photos 179 comments
wow, its good different but lovely and interesting...

on Jul. 28 2009 at 9:34 pm
I love this piece. its so honest. many people are saying to take the cursing out but i disagree. it helps set the tone and makes the story feel more...idk...true. great work!

on Jul. 15 2009 at 8:59 pm
kiwi12 PLATINUM, Austin, Texas
28 articles 10 photos 365 comments
I love the ending. I chuckled to myself when I read it. :]

Hopie SILVER said...
on Jul. 7 2009 at 1:02 am
Hopie SILVER, San Antonio, Texas
7 articles 0 photos 6 comments
wow,i loveee your poem

keep writeing :)

danaee SILVER said...
on Jul. 7 2009 at 12:43 am
danaee SILVER, Marinette, Wisconsin
7 articles 0 photos 2 comments
This is really good, I understand it completely.

on Jul. 6 2009 at 9:40 pm
amanda727 PLATINUM, Salt Lake City, Utah
33 articles 2 photos 245 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't let anybody tell you who you are; don't let anyone tell you that you don't deserve what you're willing to work for.
Never give up; you\'ll never know how far you could go until you try to get to where you want to go.

HAHAHAHA... niceeee... I have like, 22 pieces but I have yet to publish a short fiction piece... I will, I guess...

lol you sound like someone I'd hang with.. you're sarcastic as hell.. it's awesome! :)

at least you're keepin' it real...

wondering GOLD said...
on Jul. 6 2009 at 2:38 pm
wondering GOLD, Oak Bluffs, Massachusetts
10 articles 0 photos 23 comments
Fabulous writing! I love your ideas and the way you look at life! Keep writing!