The Color Of The Inside Of My Mouth | Teen Ink

The Color Of The Inside Of My Mouth MAG

January 22, 2009
By Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
15 articles 0 photos 49 comments

I wipe at my stupid eyes with the back of my hand, and it startles me for a second that my tears are gray. I dunno why it surprised me; I mean, I buy the s***ty mascara that’s $1.99 in the 20 Items or Less checkout lane. Why spend oodles of green on something I hardly ever use?

I just wanted to look nice, you know? Like those girls who’re just naturally fake pretty. The girls who can blend shades of eyeshadow like no one’s business, and match their lipstick to the exact color of their toenail polish or whatever. Seemingly effortless, yet impeccably coordinated.

This is good stuff, I should write for a living – solely on the subject of beauty queens with superiority complexes, of course.

I just want … God, what do I want? I want to feel the sun on my face and paint the clouds and hear the music in the trees and love myself and love someone else and just feel perpetually beautiful.

But that requires the $14.99 waterproof, fire-retardant, Grade-5-hurricane-resistant mascara, not the tube that’s two bucks in Lane 4.

My shoes are dirty and outdated, but that’s how I like them. I like these shoes. They’re comfortable. Why do I need new, expensive, fashionably appealing shoes in order for someone to say, “Hey dogg, you look nice today”?

And why is it that whenever I get deathly bored and slather cheap, pore-clogging makeup all over my face everyone suddenly says, “Wow, you look pretty!”? Since when is “pretty” about whale blubber and cocoa butter?

I’ll tell you one thing, though. I most definitely am not crying about some stupid XY.

Definitely not.

I’m crying for all the whales that have to give up their fatty insulation so that some fugly anorexic super bitch can paint herself pretty every freaking day, giving him something halfway decent to oggle all the time.

Seriously, I’m not leaking saltwater over a guy.

I just think it’s cruel and unfair that the fat-endowed marine life population doesn’t even get the slightest warning that they’ll soon be on a cosmetics endcap at K-Mart.

He could have at least broken it to me gently, you know? We’ve been friends since the George Bush/Al Gore debacle.

I mean come the Bette Midler on.

I spill my blood, guts, and viscera out to this guy and he throws down the “Let’s just be friends” card without a second thought?

It’s just … it’s common courtesy to ease someone into heartbreak, not smash it over their head like a whiffleball bat.

You know what? I’m going to take my $1.99 checkout Lane 4 mascara and chuck it right at her big, stupid square head.

The author's comments:
This is literally an excerpt from my journal, so it's a little different when it comes to writing style.

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This article has 476 comments.

nutmeg212 GOLD said...
on Mar. 18 2010 at 7:07 pm
nutmeg212 GOLD, Coventry, Rhode Island
11 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't worry about it." -V.Z.

this was so good. if this came out of your diary by accident, imagine what could happen on purpose! WOW

Penelope GOLD said...
on Mar. 18 2010 at 6:54 pm
Penelope GOLD, Hillsborough, New Jersey
13 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
There comes a time when you have to stop thinking of yourself as the main character in your own story, but as the suppporting character in someone else's story.

I love this!!!! it's so real but nice and poetic at the same time;) If this is what you do on an off day, then you are spectacular! you have a fan!

on Mar. 18 2010 at 6:05 pm
ellyncannon PLATINUM, Mexia, Texas
29 articles 0 photos 204 comments

Favorite Quote:
That which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the task itself has become easier, but that our ability to perform it has improved.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

i really think that guys are DUMB!

trblue GOLD said...
on Mar. 18 2010 at 4:47 pm
trblue GOLD, Richmond, Virginia
14 articles 7 photos 141 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Too often we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown. It only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap that mother@#?!&* upside the head. "

that was good and im happy i dont ware make-up. not yet i think

on Mar. 18 2010 at 3:09 pm
the_Horsegirl SILVER, Minneapolis, Minnesota
8 articles 0 photos 118 comments

Favorite Quote:
People need dreams, there's as much nourishment in 'em as food.
--Dorothy Gilman

If there is such a thing as truth, it is as intricate and hidden as a crown of feathers.
--Isaac Bashevis Singer

Really good. Truthful. You write veyr naturally.

Please check out my work if you get the chance!

Sarbear GOLD said...
on Mar. 18 2010 at 2:53 pm
Sarbear GOLD, Milan, Ohio
10 articles 4 photos 489 comments

Favorite Quote:
--Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
--When life gives you lemons, squirt them in people's eyes.

i totally agree!

Sarbear GOLD said...
on Mar. 18 2010 at 2:51 pm
Sarbear GOLD, Milan, Ohio
10 articles 4 photos 489 comments

Favorite Quote:
--Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
--When life gives you lemons, squirt them in people's eyes.

this is very well written, and im glad you wrote about something you know, and not something you couldn't describe accurately. keep writing and check out my poems tooo!

NeNe1 said...
on Mar. 18 2010 at 8:34 am
NeNe1, Warfield, Virginia
0 articles 0 photos 5 comments
my mouth is pink

on Mar. 18 2010 at 8:10 am
wishing4thebest2day GOLD, Redmond, Washington
10 articles 0 photos 72 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Giving will ultimately make you happier in life. It is rewarding for you to brighten up someone's day." -Anonymous

That is so good! I feel the truth in your writing. Amazing!

on Mar. 18 2010 at 7:41 am
SoundTechie BRONZE, Indianapolis, Indiana
4 articles 1 photo 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"In the Theater the audience wants to be surprised, but by things that they expect."- Tristan Benard

I love your writing style, and this story made me laugh out with sister like feelings. almost every girl out there, even the retardingly pretty have felt this way. im sure of it

on Feb. 24 2010 at 9:28 pm
Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
15 articles 0 photos 49 comments
Thank you for your honest opinion, you have no idea how much that means to me :) I'll admit that when I wrote this - I was barely sixteen - I was dramatic and starving for attention. However I disagree when it comes to me "toughening up." :) Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is allow yourself to be weak. To be weak and to really, genuinely feel things.

on Feb. 24 2010 at 8:18 pm
roxamania96 GOLD, Rockville, Maryland
12 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If music be the food of love, play on" - Shakespeare

Your writing style is interesting and beautiful, with a hint of sarcasm and today's intriguing society. But more than anything, you are completely and 100% correct. I love the rawness of your words, the way that it seems so effortless. It's amazing. Write your heart out.

on Feb. 24 2010 at 6:36 pm
MyFairyTaleEnding SILVER, Villa Ridge, Missouri
7 articles 0 photos 86 comments
Woah! Your a really good writer! I honestly never thought like that...INSPIRATIONAL!!! Go You!!!

on Feb. 24 2010 at 4:21 pm
Weightless2015 GOLD, Roselle, Illinois
17 articles 0 photos 55 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Dream with my eyes open, sleep when I'm dead, love who my heart's chosen, and conquer what lies ahead." -Ryan Follese (lead singer of Hot Chelle Rae)

i bet ur really pretty. keep it up. the "pretty" girls wont get anywhere in 5 years, while you'll probably be selling books every day.

on Feb. 24 2010 at 12:59 pm
Ebony_Rose PLATINUM, Hot Springs, Arkansas
21 articles 0 photos 54 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The simplest way that i can understand therapy is that we're born a certain
way, we're taught to be something different, and we spend our whole lives
trying to unravel it and ultimately align ourselves with who we really are." ~Billy Corgan

I like it...

PeacePerson said...
on Feb. 24 2010 at 10:29 am
PeacePerson, Prescott, Arizona
0 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be the change you want to see in the world." ~Mahatma Gandhi

You totally captured what probably 99% of the population of girls feels like at that point. Minus the 1% "naturally fake pretty" girls who just dont's care. And even then... Wow, great work.

on Feb. 24 2010 at 9:06 am
star_struck_93, Smithville, Mississippi
0 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Music speaks what cannot be expressed, soothes the mind and gives it rest, heals the heart and makes it whole, flows from heaven to the soul.”

I really do like this! I agree with the whole thing

on Feb. 21 2010 at 10:01 am
SBloodClassicAlice BRONZE, Butler, Pennsylvania
3 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Truth passes through three stages:
First, it is considered absurd and is ignored or ridiculed.
Next, it is considered dangerous to the status quo, and viciously attacked.
Finally, it is considered wholesome, indeed, self-evident."
-Arther Schopenhau

True, it is fresh, and by lovely, if you say anger is beautiful, it is... in certain circumstances. And really? Your DIARY? I appologize for whatever pain you must be in for such a let down, and really, this doesn't make you sound like a cool person to hang out with. It's quite annoying. But, making amends, I wouldn't be able to put my diary on here, and can relate to that. Still, couldn't this have been said in a less... "I'm Tough And Am NOT Hurt... But I Am?" Toughen up, b/c I bet you are an awesome person to hang out with who can have whoever she wants.

DaniW PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 20 2010 at 9:32 pm
DaniW PLATINUM, New Bern, North Carolina
29 articles 1 photo 31 comments

Favorite Quote:
People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within.
By Elisabeth Kuebler-Ross

nice! i wish i could write like this. if this is your journal entry, it just further proves how great a writer you are!

twiwrite GOLD said...
on Feb. 16 2010 at 2:53 pm
twiwrite GOLD, Modesto, California
14 articles 0 photos 111 comments

Favorite Quote:
none :P

bravo!!! true to the point!