Death is not all it is made out to be.  I had been prepared for it to grasp me since I was 13 years old. Yet after all these years, I had expected it to be more dramatic.

  As I laid under the thin blankets of the hospital bed, I realized death was made to be seen as a significant event in order to hide what it truly was. It was a meaningless end to some extent - a meaningless life. After all, the world we live in and its many qualities is a small insignificant speck of dust which we take pride in. We are minuscule beings who live minuscule lives no matter how much importance we have on others. From presidents, to movie stars, to religious workers,  to teenagers battling cancer - we experience different infinites ( big and small ) but we all have the same result.
Death.

And now, as I watched my parents clutch their hands to mine and tell me to let go ( for the second time I might add ) there was little regret I could fathom. I had lived. A life which others might consider pitiful or sad, but in the end, does it really matter if all it adds up to is this?

Gus had wanted more to life than what he got. But I like to think he realized in the end, just as I was, that this final dramatic event, was inevitable and that no matter the impact you have on the world, its insignificant.

Gus taught me to live my life to the fullest, to do or say what I wanted; not because I was dying but because I chose to do it. Cancer is a factor of many peoples lives. It is not a burden but an inconsequential development that challenges a person to stop living; to stop choosing who they want to be and what they wanted to do. Cancer isn’t a battle: its a circumstance.

The universe does not magically halt to a stop after death. The world you once knew, continues existing. The places you’ve been to and the people you knew, they all keep on living.

There was no blinding light, no singing angels who called forth from heaven, no sudden burst of happiness.

Perhaps there was oblivion? Perhaps there wasn’t. Perhaps the person I loved was waiting? Perhaps he wasn’t. Perhaps there was Something after death? Perhaps there wasn’t. But in the end we will all find out someday.

And thats all you need to know.

Okay?