The Hole in my Heart | Teen Ink

The Hole in my Heart

October 24, 2012
By Alcanno DIAMOND, Mexia, Texas
Alcanno DIAMOND, Mexia, Texas
59 articles 0 photos 670 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you love life, don't waste time, for time is what life is
made up of."

-- Bruce Lee

I feel so alone,
No one here knows
That my mother is dead
My future; unknown.

I haven’t told anyone-
I don’t have the strength
To remain strong all over
To not tip over the brink.

The Mask of Happiness
Carves marks in my face-
Yet I continue to wear it,
Keep my smile in place.

I have to be strong,
It is expected;
Though this fact is unspoken,
I must remain unaffected.

This is a lie,
And I am the liar.
I won’t allow myself tears,
Though my face is on fire.

Pain comes in waves,
Crash against me like the sea,
I am a rock that’s eroding,
That will soon cease to be.

I long for this moment,
For my existence to fade,
For it will mark the end
Of my strained silent charade.

However, I know,
My time isn’t close to done-
The tide is drawing back
Salty spray poking fun.

Perhaps I will allow
Sadness to reign
If only for a moment;
Leak some of the pain.

No one here knows
Of the hole in my heart.
Yet despite the sharp pain;
I shall not fall apart.

The author's comments:
My mom died in a motorcycle accident 7 months ago, and now I'm at college- no one here knew her. In my hometown, she was an english teacher, so everyone felt the shock and pain and knew what I was going through; at least, as much as I allowed them to see. This is the first poem I've written about it, but I want honest feedback, so please, don't leave comments just full of pity. Thanks.

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This article has 3 comments.

on Apr. 24 2013 at 8:48 pm
Alcanno DIAMOND, Mexia, Texas
59 articles 0 photos 670 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you love life, don't waste time, for time is what life is
made up of."

-- Bruce Lee

Thanks Olivia <3 I'm glad it touched you... I love you too!!

on Mar. 22 2013 at 10:53 am
poeticspirit12334 PLATINUM, Groesbeck, Texas
23 articles 0 photos 179 comments

Favorite Quote:
Wearing a Christian T-shirt, and a cross necklace does NOT make you a Christian. , "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord "They are plans to give you a hope and a future.'' Jeremiah 29:11

Wow... I'm at a total loss for words right now. The wording of this is absolutely perfect. You're such an amazing writer and I'm so impressed at the emotion that flows out of this poem. I wish I had the writing abilities you do, becuase this is so amazing. I'm still sitting here with my mouth wide open in awe. The part about an eroding rock is my favorite part. I've never thought of it that way until now. That's abosutely beautiful. I love the way you write but more than that I love you with all of my heart!!!!! <3

on Feb. 28 2013 at 6:04 pm
Apollo77 PLATINUM, Brunswick, Ohio
20 articles 0 photos 103 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know.”
"Madame, all stories, if continued far enough, end in death, and he is no true-story teller who would keep that from you."
-Ernest Hemingway

the emotion is very raw, i see, and i like that. what I don't like id how short the lines are. not that i would make them longer or that it's a bad thing, I just think that it would be more effective for your style with long lines. anyway, i like most of the rhymes, which is good because normally i hate rhymes, but i don't understand the stanza that ends n 'my face is on fire'. I don't think this is an effective word choice and it kind of confuses me. this is going to sound harsh because all of it was filled with great emotion and worked well, but it would be better if it were shorter. just because it is awfully repetitive and the reader may get bored half way through and miss the main point, which I don't feel is stated until the end because the title of coarse doesn't come up until the last stanza. overall, very nice emotion, good execution, but I would look closer at what is the priority to state and what isn't