If I seem to stare all I'm really doing is watching the way your eyes move, how your mouth forms the sounds of the words...
If I seem to nod my head in a certain direction...
Maybe squint my eyes slightly...
Im really not paying attention.
It doesn't matter who you are...
The world around you changes.
It isn't the 21st century anymore..
Things aren't dreary and boring anymore...
Things are vibrant...things are lively even in the cold showers of the Fall...
The coldness still remains...
But rather than uninviting and harsh and brutal...
She's quiet and calm...
Her hands will always hold yours.

Your words begin to penetrate this small little world of mine..
Now my eyes go back into focus and i can see your eyes staring at mine...
Slightly confused...
Slightly annoyed at the fact that I haven't replied to you..
The jubilant world slowly fades into the once green trees...
This coldness....
With his frozen hands....simply lets the small vibrant world slip through his fingers.

So I begin to bite my lip...
In your head you might see this as "cute" or "adorable"...
When in reality.....
Im merely focusing....
Not on the words that you continue to mutter....
Not at the fact that your pace has just began to change....the speed slowly becoming faster...
I begin to smile...
Not because what you just said made me giggle... though it probably helped the giggle blossom into a laugh...
My mind begins to wander...
Your face starts to become blank...
2009 has slowly left the building...
A year from the past has calmly replaced the future.

Tea pots are being passed...
Glimmering porcelain cups shine in the golden light...
The sounds of silver hitting porcelain echoes throughout my ear drums...
My eyes glaze over....
I continue to seem engaged in our conversation...
I might watch as a leaf falls elegantly down from the grey sky...
THe white lace table cloth beckons to be touched...
So my finger might slowly begin to rub my thumb...
You might find this weird...
But I am aware of my actions...

So I look at you and finally I reply to you...
Sending you off guard...
I say something stupid to make you laugh...
I quick little distraction as I make another break for it...
The people are beautifully dressed.
Men with long hair covering their eyes...
Women with voluminous locks draped around their shoulders...
Pearls catching the light and twinkling in my eyes.
Their dresses hugging their curves...
Their skin kissing the lace.

White shirts soaking their flesh.
The men with the dazzling voices...
Deep.... mysterious.....lighting up their cigarettes proudly..
My face starts burning...
You can probably notice that my face is beginning to redden...
I quickly make another joke....
Another quick escape.
The returning scene is even more beautiful..
Women's faces are flushed...
Men lost their breath...

Gleaming arms wrapped around another.
The men's arms tightly gripping the women's waists...
Sharp gasps escape their mouths...
The air in the room slowly elevates.
Murmured "I love you" 's crawl out from crimson lips...
I begin to bite my lip harder...
I see your eyes dart to my lips...
As if I set off a small alarm clock.
So naturally, I say something witty...
I say good bye and I hug you...
Or i simply shout "Peace outtt"

Quietly this world of mine returns.
Lounge chairs made of fine leather replace the elegant ball room floor...
Cigarette smoke chokes the air off all it's oxygen...
Pure Air Homicide.
Scarlet lips form vowel sounds...
Simple "Darling the evening was ravishing"...
Sounds elegant and dramatized...
"Sharon what does 'Advocat' mean?" interrupts my mental process...
I simply glance up from my blank paper and look at her...
"Lawyer"...
I quickly disappear into the other realm...

I may seem out of it...
I usually am..
Sometimes I barely noticed people besides me...



I have no talent for this what so ever.
And I fade away into the background....
like some shadow...
As the music starts I hold the warm hand...
I smile....and I begin to sway to the golden violins and the copper cellos...
Swaying hypnotically against the statue that's holding me tenderly.
As if, if he were to squeeze me...
I'd suffocate...
or worst...
Wilt like a mere Flower...