It's not.... | Teen Ink

It's not....

June 24, 2010
By JaseC GOLD, Granbury, Texas
JaseC GOLD, Granbury, Texas
19 articles 0 photos 44 comments

Its not how much time she spends with you
Its how much breath she takes away
You should lose your pride to someone you love
And not round the other way

Its not how much of her heart that you have
Its how much you can repair
You should look at her the way she looks at you
And remember who is there

Its not how much time she does consume
Its how much you prioritise
You should listen with an open heart and mind
And look her in the eyes

Its not how much you show her your feelings
Its how much you hide away
You should look at the times she's shared with you
And say thanks for every day.



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This article has 6 comments.


JaseC GOLD said...
on Aug. 30 2010 at 9:25 pm
JaseC GOLD, Granbury, Texas
19 articles 0 photos 44 comments
She actually died before I gave it to her.

on Aug. 30 2010 at 8:36 pm
Jellybean9898 PLATINUM, Glendale, California
34 articles 0 photos 42 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When nothing goes right, go left"-Anonymous
"Thank God men cannot fly, and lay waste to the sky as well as the Earth"-Henry David Thoreau

i think it's very sweet. i hope whoever it was for really liked it. :)

JaseC GOLD said...
on Jul. 28 2010 at 3:33 pm
JaseC GOLD, Granbury, Texas
19 articles 0 photos 44 comments
That's how most of my writing is. I usually don't jerk the reader around, unless my intention is to jerk the reader around.

on Jul. 28 2010 at 3:27 pm
bmab2377 SILVER, Long Beach, California
6 articles 0 photos 2 comments
i like it :) it sounds so straight foward and honest.

JaseC GOLD said...
on Jul. 27 2010 at 10:48 am
JaseC GOLD, Granbury, Texas
19 articles 0 photos 44 comments
Thank you for that, I wrote this in about 2 minutes and posted it without revising.

on Jul. 26 2010 at 12:06 am
nickykens ELITE, Draper, Utah
134 articles 2 photos 85 comments
Well this is fantastic!  I absolutely love it.  My favorite part, "You should lose your pride to someone you love
And not round the other way."  I can really relate.  The only suggestion I have is about the grammar, the 'its' need apostrophes (if that's spelled right).  Other than that - fantastic!