The Music | Teen Ink

The Music

November 1, 2008
By Erin Hotchkiss GOLD, Carrollton, Texas
Erin Hotchkiss GOLD, Carrollton, Texas
19 articles 29 photos 0 comments

When the music plays
We see the blood
The world decays
In our minds’ flood
We see the truth behind the lies
We don’t even bother killing the flies
How is it that we have to be told
That beauty stays and never gets old
The music brings us the epiphany
To welcome the birds and kiss the bees
The music halts our robot mind
To conform into a false acknowledgment of time
The music leads us into our own
To love what we love and stop what we loathe
We see clearly when the music plays
We could smile for days and days
Imagine if the music never stopped
Our minds would appreciate every thought
We know the answer and have no power
Our free will and faces are what they devour
The music though manmade is mighty to the ear
For what we can see is what we hear
The music brings a lullaby
A Mother walking slowly by
The pearly gates she starts to cry
The music wont even let her in
All her life she’s lived a sin.
Would not play the music for him
So the music wont let her in.
The music decides when we will die off
The music cries when we turn it off
The music changes to a dead silence
And nobody’s aware of the alliance
That we could have if we left the music alone
We might possibly save the world from his phone
The music feeds what our hearts need
Yet he needs to turn it off to succeed.
When he dies he’ll hear that lullaby
And wish that he would have stopped to cry
Because the music is forgiving if you try
To listen carefully to what you could have done
To change what’s wrong and not use the gun
But instead the music will send him down
To the fiery gates of continuous sundown
In the dark silence he will burn
With the others who let the music turn
The music will be the key to change
The silence will no longer gain
The authority and power it needs to maintain
The evil that lies in the silent plain.
However, the music will forgive
eventually we will listen
and truly live to live.

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This article has 10 comments.

KAT said...
on Nov. 19 2008 at 1:44 am
I love this poen. I can see this as a song.. I am so excited to see your work and sharing... keep up the sharing of yourself

Coopercut said...
on Nov. 17 2008 at 9:18 pm
I agree, this poem is too forced. Good idea, but it needs some work.

horsham said...
on Nov. 13 2008 at 4:28 am
Great poem. Wonderful writing.

tinna ! said...
on Nov. 11 2008 at 3:38 am
Erin, I agree with K123. Your poem has an incredible amount of potential, but some of the rhymes sound unnatural. Good luck : )

KAT said...
on Nov. 10 2008 at 12:56 am

Erin H. said...
on Nov. 9 2008 at 9:51 pm
Hey guys! Thank you so much for the kind words!

K123 said...
on Nov. 8 2008 at 3:37 pm
While I liked certain parts (like the lines: "The music brings a lullaby / A Mother walking slowly by / The pearly gates she starts to cry / The music wont even let her in / All her life she’s lived a sin."), I feel that you forced out a lot of rhymes. Rhyming is great, as long as it isn't forced. I would recommend you editing this because it has a lot of potential but it is hindered right now by some awkward phrasing.

Carol Ann said...
on Nov. 7 2008 at 10:19 pm
This is wonderful, insightful and inspirational! It could be set to music!

toolsman said...
on Nov. 7 2008 at 2:39 pm
really puy some thought in this and it shows keep up the good work

elaine said...
on Nov. 7 2008 at 12:07 am