"Come on let's go inside." Ava said while getting out of the car and motioning for me to get out with her hands, I got out of the car and we both started heading towards the door of the house. I heard some really loud music and it didn't look like there were that many people. So we walked inside and first Ava went up to a tall, skinny boy with brown eyes and quiffed up hair and hugged him, I’m guessing it was one of the O2L boys. Finally Ava introduced us to each other.
"Beth this is Kian, Kian this is Beth." I looked down at my feet and shyly shook his hand, he was cute.
"Nice to meet you Beth, I'll catch up with you girls later, my girlfriend's waiting for me, I'll introduce her to you later." Kian said and walked away.
'Darn it!' I said to myself 'he's taken' then Ava looked at me and whispered "don’t worry there are other cute guys" and winked at me. I guess she read my mind.
Then two other guys came up to Ava. One of them was kind of short, well for a boy, and he had dark hair that was messy but in a good way and the boy standing next to him had gorgeous green eyes, light brown hair and was taller.
“Beth, Jc, Jc, Beth, Beth, Connor, Connor, Beth” Ava said while motioning her hands.
They were both really cute! I was staring at Connor without even realizing it then he winked at me and I started to blush. I could feel my face heating up. He looked so familiar, but not from his videos, he looked like someone that I’ve met before. But then Ava grabbed Connor's hand and they left, so it was just me and Jc and a bunch of other party people that I didn't know. It was kind of awkward because we weren't talking but then he broke the silence between us and said "sooo whats up?"
"Umm nothing much, you?" I said, then he replied saying "same, want something to drink?" "Sure, i'll just have water." I said.
“Water at a party? Are you some kind of party pooper? At least get some soda, unless you want alcohol.” he said trying not to laugh.
It was just really awkward and he was staring at me with his rich, dark brown eyes, so I said “okay, I'll have some soda.” Then he left to get me a drink so it was just me, myself and I in a room filled with most likely drunk people dancing and couples eating each others faces. It was not a pleasant sight so I sat down on the couch.
Then a boy sat next to me, “hey” his light brown hair was kind of spiky and he had beautiful brown eyes said.
“Hi” I said and put a small smile on my face. He was kind of cute too.
“I’m Ricky” and I gladly shook his hand. Oh, Ava was right, there were so many more cute guys but I couldn't get Connor's winky face out of my head. The amount of cute guys I met in one day is insane.
I hear Ricky talk to me but i was too busy daydreaming about Connor, why was i even thinking about Connor? I was getting thirsty and I remembered that Jc was supposed to be getting me a drink so I got up without even telling Ricky and I walked over to the kitchen. When I walked in all I saw was Ava kissing Connor, for some reason I felt really hurt inside. I felt a tear coming in my eye so i rushed to the bathroom. I was like a little kid lost in a maze. I opened two doors until I found which door led to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and just talked to myself inside my head. 'Why was i feeling this way? What's wrong with me? I barely even know Connor, I just met him, even though I did watch a couple of his videos. But why did I feel hurt?' I wiped my tear and washed my face and went back to the living room where I saw Kian and some other girl, I'm guessing it was his girlfriend. She was pretty, so I went up to Kian and he said
"oh hey beth, this is my girlfriend, Andrea."
I said "hi" and shook her hand.
Kian looked at me and asked if I was okay and I said "I'm fine" and I looked at the ground.
He looked at Andrea and said "hey um, Andrea can I talk to Beth alone for a second?"
"Sure" she said with a smile and danced away.
He said "look, i know something's up, so it'd be easiest if you just tell me what happened." I was contemplating on whether i should tell him or not.
I decided to tell him a little part of what happened, but not everything because i just met him and he looked like someone i could trust. But as i said we just met so i couldn’t be so sure of myself. I told him that I saw Ava and Connor kissing when i went to the kitchen to look for Jc or get a drink. That’s all i told him, i didn’t tell him that i felt kind of hurt or that a tear was coming down my eye.
Then Kian said “so you’re jealous?”
“ wha-what? No, I don’t even know Connor, i just met him, why would i be jealous?” i replied.
“Well, you wouldn’t look like that if something bad didn’t happen and all you said was you saw Ava and Connor kissing” Kian said.
I didn’t know what to say, i wasn’t sure if i should tell him. I decided I would just tell him because I thought I was never going to see them again, after all I am kind of mad at Ava for just leaving me, not for kissing connor, so i was planning on not talking to Ava and not seeing anyone from this party ever again.
“Okay, look, i have a tiny incy wincy little crush on Connor, i watched a few of his videos when Ava showed them to me and he’s just adorable. But who cares? You better not tell anyone or else i will kill you, and if you tell him I swear I will tear you into pieces. There I said it, now I gotta go, bye.” I said to Kian.
Then before I headed toward the door Kian grabbed my arm and said “let me give you a ride home.” I decided to let him because I remembered that Ava had brought me here and i had no ride home. So I went outside and headed to Kian’s car and I think Kian just went to look for Andrea and tell her where he was going. I thought that was sweet of him.
It was just me and Kian in the car, I felt like we were going to be really good friends, but that didn’t matter because after tonight I was sure I was never going to see any of them ever again. At first i t was awkwardly quiet but then Kian said “hey beth look, you’re such an amazing and really sweet girl, I am sure Connor would love you. Maybe try talking to him, you never know. He could like you back”
“Kian, listen you’re really sweet and thanks for trying to help me but just please stop. It’s just a teency weency little crush. It’s nothing, I’ll get over it” I said.
“Whatever you say bethers, but if you ever need someone to talk to I'm here” Kian said while handing me a piece of paper with one hand and his other hand on the wheel. It was his phone number, I assumed. I decided to just put it in my pocket even though I knew I’d never need it, I think it would be rude if i ripped it up or threw it out in front of him. Then we finally arrived in front of my house, Kian opened the car door for me, we said our goodbyes and I gave him a friendly hug, to me it meant thanks for everything but goodbye forever. To him it probably meant see you next time. Then he got back in the car and I watched as he drove away. I then walked into my house and crashed, I was really tired because of the party.

I stopped talking to Ava and I saw her hanging out with the “cool” kids and she forgot about me. Everyday at school was the same, I went to school, did my work, talked to no one, sat alone at lunch, went home and did my homework and talked to my besties on twitter and instagram. My besties were my subscribers on youtube, did I mention that I was a youtuber? That was probably the only thing that made me happy these past few days.
Since I was so lonely at lunch all I could think about was Ava, which reminded me about the party, which reminded me about Connor. To top it all off, this girl constantly bullied me, the worst part is that this mean girl is one of Ava’s new friends and Ava doesn't do anything about it. That’s what hurt most about the bullying experience.
I felt a tap on my shoulder, I turn around and I saw Ava and Teala laughing at me. I was at lunch sitting like a loner when the whole cafeteria started laughing at me, why were they all laughing at me? What did I do? I left school early, I decided to skip the rest of my classes. I dragged myself to the park, my favorite park, the park that I would always go to. I sat on a bench and just thought about everything, I reached inside my pocket and there was a piece of paper with numbers on it, I forgot about this. Should I?

I was all alone sitting on a park bench deciding whether I should call him or not. I decided to because I had no other choice, my parents were on vacation and I didn't want them to worry about me while they're relaxing so this was my only option. I dial the number, it starts ringing, i get so nervous. It goes straight to voicemail. I felt so stupid. I tried one last time, he answered but i didn't know what to say.
"Hello? Umm hello? Anyone there? Who is this?" I hear his voice through the phone. I just sniffle and stay quiet. "Bethers?!" he said. How'd he know it was me? What do I do now? I was panicking and so I just threw my phone across the grass and ran home. I was in tears and I didn't exactly understand why. Sometimes, I just break down into tears, confused. I decide to just watch youtube videos to get my mind off things but then I see 3 suggested videos, 1 video was of Kian, another video was of all of the guys from o2l and the third suggested video was of Connor. Great, this definitely got my mind off things. So instead I just watched Pretty Little Liars. It went on commercial and I was about to get up to get some snacks until I hear the doorbell ring. Who could that be? It's almost 8:30pm. I was so scared. I stood where I was, frozen. What if it was a kidnapper or a serial killer, they rang the doorbell again and banged on my door. I decided to look out the window and try not to get noticed.
It was Kian?! What was he doing at my house? Should I open the door? Should i let him in? I should just pretend I'm not home.
"Beth, I know you're home, i can see the tv is on, and I know it's you cause it's Pretty Little Liars." Kian said. How'd he know? I just met him like a week ago. I'm kind of creeped out, but darn! Now i HAVE to open the door, so that's what I do, and he just lets himself in. "Hey Beth, I'll be the one asking questions." Kian said. "But, bu-" I stuttered and then kian interrupted me "no buts!"
"Haha you just said no buts! Why are you even here? How'd you even know where i live?" I said. Then Kian replied "I said I'll be the one asking questions, now what’s up?"
I then said "what do you mean what’s up? You magically appear at my door and that's all you have to say?"
"I mean what's wrong? Why were you crying?" Kian said.
"I was not crying!" I replied.
"Yes you were, I can tell when a girl is upset so tell me, we can either do this the easy way or the hard way." Kian said.
I wasn't sure if I should tell him. There was just this connection that made me feel like he was a brother to me. I felt like he was my only friend I have, it was like we were bestfriends and we've known eachother for years, even though we just met a few days ago, so I told him. I told him about the bully and Ava and then I just started blabbing and complaining and then everything about connor blurted out of me. I was shocked at myself.
"Listen Beth, i know you like Connor, why don't you just admit it? I know you sometimes watch his videos, i just know." Kian said while handing me a piece of paper. What was this? It had numbers on it.
"And what is this? I already have your number." I replied.
"Silly, this is Connor's number. And I want you to call him and if you don't, I'll give him your number!" Kian said.
"You wouldn't!" I said.
"Oh yes i would, I'm just helping out a really good friend." I was assuming he was talking about Connor.
"Well I gotta go now but remember what I said." And Kian gave me a hug and left. I just stood there staring at the paper. Should i call him?
I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO?! SHOULD I CALL HIM? I HAVE NO IDEA!! I skipped school for a few days, I said i was “really sick and stuff’” when in reality I just didn't want to have to deal with Ava and those mean girls. I actually liked just staying home from school, for once I was calm and a little happy. I used that time to film videos and watch videos and catch up on some tv shows. It was really relaxing.

It was a Friday afternoon and I finished filming a video when I got a phone call from an unknown number. I was kind of nervous. I thought about Kian but he was here on Tuesday so I don't think it was him. Then it hit me! He said if i didn't call Connor he would give him my number. But wait, why would he even call me? I wasn't sure if I should answer, but I did because (yolo) life is about taking risks.
"hello?" the person on the phone said.
"umm hi who is this?" I replied.
"umm yeah this is the Krusty Krab." the person on the phone said.
"umm what? this isn't patrick?" i played along.
"nope this is spongebob speaking, I'm ready! Would you like a krabby patty?"
"eh, no thanks i just had taco bell!" I said. "What?! You had taco bell and you didn't invite me?" the person on the phone said. Then I heard guys laugh in the background. I was so confused. When he said I didn't invite him to taco bell I knew he wasn’t joking anymore and that it was all a prank call but his voice sounded SO familiar. Who was it?
“Hey Bethers!” Now I knew who it was, it was Kian.
“Hey Bethany!” another voice said then I heard all of them say “Hi Beth!” It was O2L! OMG! Did that mean that Connor was there? Who was the one who said hey bethany?
“umm who’s this?” i tried acting as if I didn’t already know it was o2l.
“This is the krusty krab remember?” one voice said.
“Well krusty krab wanna go get some taco bell?” I said.
“I thought you already had taco bell?” then I heard a thump like as if someone elbowed the person talking on the phone.
“I mean yes, of course, by the way do you know who this is?” they continued.
“umm nope, who is this?” I wasn’t sure which member of o2l I was currently taking with but oh well.
“ha, im not telling you, you’ll just have to wait. I’ll pick you up at 6.”
“umm okay!” I said. Now i was so confused. Did I just invite a stranger to taco bell? I was seriously so lost. So I got ready and at exactly 6:05 someone rang the doorbell. I went to go open the door, I grabbed my purse and headed downstairs. I opened the door and it was…
To my surprise it was RICKY?
“hey beth, you ready?” he said
“umm yeah.” i replied.
“what? You weren’t expecting to see me, were you?” he said “no it’s not that.” I lied.
We were in his car and we were driving there and it was and of quiet and awkward. I mean we barely knew each other and stuff. Then we got there and he told me to go ahead while he parked his car and so I did. But when I walked into taco bell, I literally almost died. Guess who was there? CONNOR FREAKING FRANTA! Im not sure if I was gonna die because I was happy or because i was nervous. I just stood there for a few seconds and stared at him. Then he turned around and stared into my eyes that’s when I turned around and headed for the bathroom. I’m pretty sure I walked into the girls bathroom because there were no urinals or “guy toilets” but why was Kian in here? Now it was even more awkward. What was happening tonight?
“hey Bethers, I knew you were going to walk in here so that’s why I’m here.” Kian said.
“umm you do realize you’re in the girls bathroom right?” I asked him.
“Beth as I said, i’ll be the one asking questions.” he said.
Then I replied “yeah that was a few days ago at my house so what is happening?”
“Okay, listen can you just go out there and talk to Connor. PLEASE!” Kian said.
“And why should I? Why are you doing this?” A asked him and he looked like he was begging, with his eyes staring at me like puppy dog eyes and his lips pouted and his hands held together. I felt bad but I didn’t want to talk to Connor. “PLEASE BETH! Just do it.” We stood there in the girls bathroom quietly for a few minutes cause I was still thinking.
Ever since the party I've been taking chances and look where I am now, so I ran for my life. I always went to taco bell so I knew my way home. So I ran out of the bathroom and I could hear Kian scream my name and he tried to chase me but I just ran out of taco bell and then I heard Connor yell my name and that's when I started to cry a little. Then I heard Ricky yell from his car but I just kept running. I turned my head and looked back but I still kept running and that's when I tripped. I didn't get badly injured but some guy helped me up. I looked up and it was Jc. Why was o2l haunting me? "Hi Beth, are you okay?" He asked looking really serious.
"Umm yeah i gotta go." I said.
"Here let me give you a ride, it's about to rain anyways." He said.
So i went with it cause i thought it was about to rain and before i even get home i'll be soaking wet.
So we walked to his car, while driving he asks "so beth, what happened? What were you running from?" I couldn't tell him the truth cause look what happened now, this is what i get for trusting kian. Was it my fault or kian's? I don't even know anymore. So i just told Jc that there was some scary guy that kept staring at me and so I ran. When i got home I was really tired and so I got ready for bed and just layed in bed. Then i got a text from an unknown number.
The text said "hi beth :)" and I obviously said "umm hi, who's this?" Then the second after I got another text. It read "Your secret admirer<3" I was kind of freaked out but at the same time i thought it was really cute, I wonder who it is. I then texted back saying "aww, how cute<3 but what's your name? Do I know you i real life?" and the second after I got a text, he texts really fast. "I can't tell you who i am right now but let's just say I saw you earlier today :)" That's when I got nervous, because I only saw the o2l guys today except for Sam or Trevor so it couldn't have been them, it could've been Ricky or Jc or CONNOR?! It couldn't be Kian because obviously he's with Andrea. So I said "are you part of O2L?" "Maybe or maybe not, I may or may not have talked to you but I saw you<3 and you were beautiful :)" This secret admirer dude is confusing me. But he was so sweet. "Aww you're too sweet. When will you tell me who you are?" I texted back. "I'll confront to you when it's the right time :) someone told me you liked me ;)" OMG, that text killed me. Was it connor? Did kian tell him? Who was i talking to. I stopped texting him and tried to sleep but it was hard cause i couldn't stop thinking about my texting secret admirer.

For a few days my secret admirer texted me and I guess it was fun cause it was one of the only things that made me happy at the time. Especially at this time because guess what. O2L decided to volunteer at my school and the younger members decided to transfer to my school. What fun? It was the year I joined lots of clubs because I was going to college soon. To make things even worse, Kian was in almost all my classes and so was Sam but we barely talked so it wasn’t a big deal. But Ricky, Jc and Connor were too old to be in high school so they volunteered in after school stuff, how sweet of them right? wrong. I would think it was sweet if they volunteered in things where I didn’t have to see them but nooo, I have to see them almost every single day. And Trevor he was a freshman but he stayed home school so that he could focus on his music. AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF THE WORSE PART, Kian was assigned to be my partner for a science project, right there and then I wanted to shoot myself. I mean it was either we worked on the project at my house but that would be SO awkward because it would be only the two of us OR work on the project at the o2l house, where Kian, Ricky, Jc and Connor would be there. What was I going to do? At this point I could say I hated my life and I had the worst luck ever. The only thing that could make me feel better was by talking to my besties.
I was in science class and I had to sit next to Kian. Sam sat a few seats away but I didn’t mind him, he wasn’t as annoying. Kian wouldn’t shut his mouth, he kept talking to me and I just ignored him and stayed quiet. But he acted worried and kind of sad and I felt a little bad and I thought it was sweet of him but I didn’t want to deal with him. At first I was curious to what he was saying but then I noticed that all he kept saying was I’m sorry, I’m very sorry, what can I do to make it up to you, I didn’t tell connor anything, sorry and blah blah blah and now he won’t shut his face. Then the teacher said that we had to work on the project outside of school.
“Hey Beth, wanna work on the project at the o2l house?” Kian asked.
“Yeah sure” I said, not paying attention
The next morning, I went straight to science and asked our professor if I could switch partners and he said there was no one left so I was stuck with Kian. At this point, I felt like my life was ruined. Today was the day where I had to go over to the O2L house and work on the project, I would just make up an excuse and not do the project but then I would fail and I already am failing because i haven’t gone to school for weeks. I was not planning on repeating this year of high school again. The whole day I was worrying about what would happen after school until lunch.
Lunch was the worst. First of all, I already had to deal with Ava and Teala. And now I had to deal with O2L, all of them except Trevor and I didn’t really have to deal with Sam because he didn’t bother me. I barely even noticed Sam. Jc, Ricky, Connor and especially Kian wouldn’t quit bothering me. But this particular day they decided to sit with me at lunch and that’s when Teala decides to come up to me. I saw with the corner of my eye, her slowly approach me and she dumps her tray spilling all her food on me. “Oops! Oh My Gosh Beth! I am so sorry!” and she whispered to Ava “NOT” and I watched them laugh. She stinks at whispering. I seriously hated her. But this is where it gets even worse, the boys get up and try to stand up for me. “What do you think you’re doing!?” Kian yells while getting up. The boys and Teala start yelling at eachother while the cafeteria just watches. It was like they thought this was some kind of movie, for me it was a horror movie.
I know what you’re thinking, shouldn’t I be thankful that the boys stood up for me? Um no, because instead, Teala started saying bad things about me! She said “WOW Bethany, you can’t even stand up for yourself? You need to have these cute boys do it for you? What a sl*t! You’re such a b****” That’s what hurt the most. I ran into the bathroom in tears and I heard her yell from across the cafeteria “Go ahead and cry little baby, what a freak?!” Then I heard the boys yell after me and try to chase after me but I went into the girls bathroom. I just sat in the corner crying, when I hear the door open. And one of the guy’s voices say “Bethany” one of the guys was in the girls bathroom, Who was it?
It was CONNOR?! I peeked and saw Connor's face, I was expecting Kian or Jc but wait-- oops, nevermind I looked closer and it was Sam. Wait, what?! Why was Sam in the girls bathroom? We barely ever talked. I found this really awkward. Sam said "hi beth, you're probably wondering why I’m here, in the girls bathroom. But I saw what happened and um are you okay?" I didn't say anything, i heard his footsteps as he walked closer to me. "Hey beth, are you okay? I understand how you feel. You can tell me anything, you can trust me." I thought for a minute, he sounded so sweet and be was the only one who wasn't acting like a jerk. So I looked up and saw his face, he was just looking at me. "Smile, you look prettier wearing a smile :)" that was so sweet of him. "So why are you crying?" He asked. "Well didn't you see what happened? Teala called me those things, I don’t even know you guys, we're not even friends and she's saying I like you all?" He looked a little hurt, "I’m sorry" I said. "No, it’s okay, i understand. But listen, Teala is just jealous of you, you're perfect just the way you are." I stood up and gave him a hug. It was kind of awkward but it was nice, I haven't hugged anyone in a while.
I hugged Sam for a while and I heard the door open and then a few seconds later I heard the door close, like as if someone came in and walked out. I couldn’t see who it was because my back was facing the door but I let go of Sam. Then i said “thank you Sam and Sam?”
“no problem and yeah?” he said.
“you’re in the girls bathroom still” I reminded him.
“oh yeah, oops bye Beth” he said while handing me a piece of paper, im guessing it was his number. then he kissed me on the cheek.

Later that day I was home in bed on my phone and on twitter. For some reason people were giving me a little hate on twitter and I don’t even know why. I was kinda bummed about it. There were people calling me ugly and fat and thirsty and inappropriate words. I started to cry a little. Why was I so sensitive and emotional? I remembered when I was last happy, I wasn't happy for a long time. But earlier today I was kind of happy, Sam made me smile. So I decided to text him, I get the piece of paper and type up his number on my phone. The number pops up, that was weird, why was his number already on my phone? I send a text saying 'hey' and then the convo shows up! Sam was my secret admirer? What? My secret admirer said he saw me when i went to taco bell when i saw Connor. But i don't remember seeing him. I only remember seeing Ricky, Jc, Kian and Connor but not Sam. Maybe he was helping Connor or something? But what? I am so confused. I got a text from Sam and it said "so now you know" I didn't know how to react or what to do.

Class was so weird, Sam and Kian weren't there and I saw none of the boys after school. I wonder what happened, oh well yay for me. I didn't have to deal with them on this ugly Monday. So I go home and a few minutes later my phone rings. It's Kian, I answered, I don't know why but something was telling me that it was something important. Then Kian said "Hello beth? Come to Wishing Hospital now!"
"What? Why? Hello?" he just hung up on me. What happened? I grabbed my purse and penny board and skated to the hospital. It wasn't that long until I got there. I saw all the boys except Connor. What happened?
I run up to Kian and ask. He just says "take a look for yourself" and pointed to a room on the left. All the boys looked sad, what happened? I go into the room and i see CONNOR?! omg.
I walk into the room and I see Connor in a hospital gown on the hospital bed. I was just standing there staring in shock. Inside i wanted to break down but not in front of everyone. He was sleeping so I walked closer and touched his hand. A tear came down, I have no idea why because we never officially had an actual conversation. I kiss him on the cheek and then the door opens. I remove my hand from his and turn around, it was AVA?! What was she doing here? Oh right, she liked Connor.





Ava said "oh hi Beth, long time no see." Then Teala walked in. So I just left, I didn't want to cause a scene in the hospital. I just ran outside and skated home. What had happened? I don't even know, I was so confused. I just started to cry in bed and drifted asleep.
I woke up to the weirdest dream. In my dream, the same boy showed up, I never clearly saw his face but I remember staring into his gorgeous green eyes. In my dream, this boy and me were dating, he picked me up and kissed me and it was just so sweet.
I didn’t want to go to school but I have to. At least o2l wouldn’t be at school, or at least that’s what I thought. O2L wasn’t at school except for Sam. I wonder why. Since Kian wasn’t in school, Sam had to be my partner, yippee. It was really awkward, I asked him where the rest of the guys instead of asking why he’s here because I didn’t want to sound rude, especially since he was there with me in the girls bathroom comforting me. He said that Connor was mad at him and so Sam didn’t want to stay at the hospital with him. I wonder why Connor was mad at Sam. Actually, now that I think about it, i should really stop wondering about o2l.
Sam and I had to work on the project at the o2l house. It was really awkward because it was only me and Sam in one house and Sam was kind of quiet, well quieter than usual. So I asked him “what’s up?”
“nothing” he said sighing.
I gave him a hug cause that’s how he cheered me up and he seemed happy when we hugged in the bathroom, he smiled a little. I guess Sam was my secret admirer. But was he at Taco Bell like he said he was? or was he on the street like a creeper? Who knows? OKAY, I REALLY NEED TO STOP THINKING ABOUT THESE BOYS.

I dont know, i wasn’t feeling like myself today and I guess Sam asked if I wanted to go over to the o2l house and I wasn’t paying attention (again, I really need to start paying attention more). At least Connor wasn’t there, I guess he was still at the hospital. But Kian, Ricky and Jc were there and so was Andrea. The guys went out to the store to get food for us and so it was just me and Andrea. She seemed really nice and sweet, I would love If we became best friends, it would be nice to have a girl best friend again. Someone not like Ava, someone who I could talk to about my boy problems, fangirl with and tell all my secrets to, someone who would help me and cheer me up. I felt like Andrea would be perfect, but we were barely even friends so. It was kind of awkward until I decided to be more unlike myself and break the silence
“So how’s it like dating someone from o2l?” Andrea looked up from her phone, put it away and started saying “It’s cool I guess, I don’t really mind about him being a part of o2l, it’s just like any other relationship, sometimes it gets kind of annoying with all the fangirls all over my boyfriend but I know that I’m his one and only.” she said and blushed a little.
“That’s adorable” I said.
“So, how’s it like having a crush on one of the guys from o2l?” Andrea asked. I was so confused. “Did she know I liked Connor, what? Oh my gosh,what do I say?” I thought to myself.
“What are you talking about?” I said with a fake laugh.
“Listen Beth, I know you like Connor, don’t lie to me, don’t worry you can trust me.” I was contemplating on whether I should admit it or not.
“wait, um if I did like Connor, which i totally don’t, how would you know?” She raised her eyebrow at me. “okay, first of all i remember Kian introducing me to you at that party and you looked upset and it was because of Connor. If I didn’t know you liked Connor I might’ve been a little more protective with my Kian but I knew that you guys were just friends. I’ve seen the way you’ve been acting Beth, I just know things. I know you totally do like him.” Andrea said.
“well umm…” I didn’t know what to say.
“well first things first, stop watching his videos and actually try talking to him, it won’t hurt to try.”
“wait, how’d you know i watched his videos- i mean umm nevermind.”
“Beth, listen I saw that girl all over Connor during that party and Connor did NOT like her. I know Connor, she’s not his type. Don’t worry, just trust me. Maybe try texting Connor, I bet he’ll feel a lot better.” Andrea said.
“But what if he doesn’t like me back?” I asked.
“But what if he does?” She had a point there, I don’t know. I’m so confused now.
“Maybe he doesn’t stop talking about you to the boys” she said and winked at me. What was that even supposed to mean? Then I heard the door open and looked at Andrea, she whispered “don’t worry, your secret is safe with me”
The boys came back and it was kind of awkward because Andrea and Kian were cuddling on the couch while me, Sam, Ricky and Jc just sat there watching the movie. I was getting tired and my eyes were getting heavier and then before I knew it I was asleep. A few hours later I woke up and my head was on Sam’s shoulder. I immediately sat up and went to the kitchen. I got myself a glass of water and sat down. It was awkwardly quiet so I just looked around and then it came back to me. This was the exact place where Ava kissed Connor or Connor kissed Ava, I wouldn’t know. Tears started going down my cheek and then I turn around and Andrea walked in. She came up and hugged me. I wiped my tears.
“Don’t worry Beth, he loves you okay?” What did she mean he loves me? She was probably just saying that to cheer me up but i didn’t say anything.
“Come on Beth, let me take you shopping, it’ll help you get your mind off things. And we won’t invite the guys. I”ll also invite my other friend, Jenn so that we’re not so lonely.”
Then she headed off to Kian’s room, I guess she was gonna call Jenn. I forgot that I wasn’t even at my own house and I haven’t showered so I just waited for Andrea to come out, she let me borrow an outfit and I got ready. I was really hoping that we would become really great friends and that I was going to have fun at the mall.
Jenn drove us to the mall, it was only Andrea, Jenn and I. I was really hoping that this mall trip would take my mind off things. It probably will because what other activity would a girl want to do? Shopping is the best, I guess you can say im a shopaholic. We went to Brandy Melville, Forever 21, H&M, American Apparel, PacSun and a bunch of other stores. I got so many new clothes and really cute accessories. I saw so many cute clothes and cute little things like bows and necklaces and rings and stuff. We also saw a group of cute boys. But that’s not the only things i saw. This was the most important part during my whole trip. We saw Teala. But the weird part is she kept talking to Andrea and she was being NICE to me?! WHAT?! Teala was NICE to Bethany Mota? I thought those things only happened in movies, or in a different planet but this was real life on planet Earth. I never thought I’d ever say that. I was literally so confused. For the first time EVER in my life, Teala was actually not a total jerk to me? I should’ve known it was all fake because of what happened after. We were in the food court and I went to the restroom. Just my luck! Teala was by the mirror fixing up her makeup and I went to wash my hands. She was talking to me, in a jerky way, actually no, she was talking to me in a sweet tone but the words were mean! She said “Oh hey Beth, nice seeing you here? You could use a little makeover? But don’t think all the boys in the school will fall for you just because you bought new clothes, cause you would still need a lot of work done with your face?” I was about to tell her, “well you need major work on your attitude” but i didn’t because i was afraid of what would happen next. She left after saying a few more words and that’s when I went into a bathroom stall and started crying. I don’t understand what I did to her? And why was she nice when Andrea and Jenn were around? Why was I always crying?
I heard Andrea yelling my name in the bathroom so I wiped away my tears and walked out of the bathroom stall acting as if I just got out.
“hey Beth, are you okay?” Andrea asked.
“um yeah, why wouldn’t i be okay?” I replied.
“Well you’ve been in here for a while, and it looks like you’ve been crying.” she said.
“What? No?! I haven’t been crying and there was just a long line and so i just got in.” I said.
“Are you sure? Are you sure you’re okay?” Andrea asked.
“I said yeah, now c’mon let’s go, I’m hungry.” I said trying to change the topic.
Then we headed back to the o2l house. To my surprise, Connor was back from the hospital. Once I stepped into the o2l house,Ii saw Connor and he looked at me and we stared at eachother for a few seconds and my stomach started feeling queasy. I walked towards Andrea and whispered to her, I told her i wasn’t feeling so well and I wanted to go home. Too bad, Jenn already left so she couldn’t drive me home. Andrea said she’d be right back and Igrabbed her arm and whispered no, Connor was still there and it would be more awkward then it already was. Andrea then whispered “do you want to go home or stay here longer where he’s here?”
“fine, okay but be quick! Wait! Where are you going?” I quietly asked.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be right back. Just stay here” she said and walked away. Connor was just sitting on the couch on his laptop. It was really awkward because i just stood there and every once in a while I would peek at him.
Then I heard him say “oh hi Bethers” I looked up at him and he had a smile on his face, I couldn’t help it but smile too.
I said “oh um hi connor.”
Then it was quiet, it was extremely awkward. I was waiting for Andrea to come already and help me out of this awkwardness.
Then I saw Kian come out of his room and he had his keys and said “C’mon Beth, i’ll take you home, I’m gonna go somewhere after so we better head to your house now.”
He looked like he was in a rush then i heard Connor speak up. I hope he wasn’t going to say what I thought he was going to say.
“um Kian, if you’re in such a rush maybe I could drop Beth off myself.” AND HE SAID EXACTLY WHAT I DIDN’T WANT HIM TO SAY! My luck, I hated my life. The reason I wanted to go home was because I wanted to stay away from Connor, he can’t drop me off! And Kian knows I like him and has been trying to make me talk to him so obviously he’s going to let Connor drop me off. Ugh, why did this have to happen to me? “umm, Connor are you sure?” Kian asked. “yeah, I’m positive” and Connor went upstairs to get ready. I yelled at Kian, I didn’t even mean to. “KIAN?! WHY?! HOW COULD YOU?! You can’t let him drop me off please!” He looked kinda hurt and he just yelled “SORRY!” and walked into his room. I felt really bad after I did that. Me and Connor walked to the car and it was really awkward. So I just went on my phone, I could see in the mirror that he kept peeking at me. Then we got in front of my house. We just stared into each other's eyes and he leaned in…. What was happening? Was he going to kiss me? I leaned back a little, not too much so it wouldn't be more awkward than it already was. I was just staring at him and he put his hand on my shoulder. “Sorry, there was dirt or something on your shoulder.” he said. Wow, I felt extremely stupid. Why would I even think he wanted to kiss me? Right as I was about to reach for the door to open he grabbed my hand. I just stared at him and was closer to him than before. He kissed my hand and got out and opened the car door for me. I couldn’t help but blush but inside I was fangirling so hard. I got out of the car and he gave me a kiss on the cheek and then hugged me. He whispered something but I didn’t really hear him or I was too busy fangirling in my head. Then I walked into my house not looking back. I got inside, closed the door and screamed. I couldn’t stop smiling.

I woke up. Where was I? What happened? Was all of that just a dream? Wow, Connor needs to leave my life. I was in the o2l house?! I thought that I was home. Didn’t Connor drop me off? I was lying down on the couch in the o2l house. I heard someone’s bedroom door open, I saw Andrea walk in. “Are you okay?” she asked.
“umm, yeah. I think. What happened last night?” I asked.
“Um I dont know. I went to get Kian to drop you off and then I just saw you asleep on the couch. I guess you were just really tired from the shopping trip.” she said.
“wait, who’s home?” I asked.
“well, it’s only me, Kian, Jc and Ricky. Sam is at his parent’s house and Connor is still at the hospital. Why? Is there something wrong?” she said.
“umm no, nothing’s wrong. I’m perfectly fine. I think i’m gonna go home now.”
“you want me to wake up one of the boys to drop you off?” she asked. “no thanks. It’s fine. I’ll just get a taxi. No need to bother the boys.” I replied.
Then I hugged Andrea and we said our goodbyes and i headed home. The whole taxi drive home I couldn’t help but think about my dream. It felt so real. I was positive it was real. I guess good things like that only happen in movies.
I woke up and I saw Connor standing next to me?! This was my room, I was pretty sure. I mean it looked like my bedroom. He was just standing there, staring at me. "Connor?" I said and then I blinked and there was nobody. I screamed and I heard my voice echo. Nobody was home. I was scared but at the same time confused. I didn't know what was happening with me. I needed to tell someone. But who?
I was thinking of people to tell, Ava: never in a million years. Kian: nope, I don’t know if I can still trust him. Andrea? maybe? But I feel like I'll be depending on her too much. But she is the only person. Maybe Jenn too. I'll tell them both, hopefully they're both trustworthy and we could become great friends. I didn't think I had any other choice, but at the same time i was kind of afraid, I don’t know of what, I just was.
I texted Andrea and told her if I could talk to her and Jenn, she said that we could meet-up at the mall. But I texted back asking if they could just come to my place so that it's more private and just in case Teala was at the mall again. A few hours later, I heard the doorbell ring and so i went to go answer the door. I open it expecting to see Andrea and Jenn but instead i saw CONNOR?! I blink a few times to make sure it was really him and my hand was moving towards him and then I woke up. I knew it couldn't be real, it was Sam. I put my hand down and awkwardly looked away.
He said "oh um hey beth."
Without making direct eye contact I said "oh hi"
"Is there something wrong?" he asked.
"no" I said.
"Can I come in?" he asked.
I didn't really want to talk to him because right now I was so confused. I didn't want to be mean but I really didn't want to let him in. Also, Andrea and Jenn were coming over and I didn’t want Sam to be here when they came. I didn't know what to say. I just awkwardly looked around.
"Um did you hear me Beth?" He said.
I wanted to pretend i didn't hear anything but i didn't want to be a total jerk.
"Um sorry, but I don't really feel like talking right now. I’m really sorry but just not right now" I told him, I felt like crying but I stayed strong and held back my tears.
"It's okay, I understand. Well, I guess I'll just go now bye."
And he hugged me and left. I closed the door and just sat on the floor. I didn't understand what was happening? Can Connor just leave my life?
An hour or so later I was still sitting by the door when the someone rang the doorbell. This time, I asked who it was before I opened it, it was Andrea and Jenn. Before opening the door I wiped away my tears. After opening the door they both said “Hey Beth!” they sounded really hyper until they saw my face. I just looked down.
“Beth, is everything okay?” Jenn asked.
Trying not to sound upset I said “what? of course! I’m perfectly fine.”
“Are you sure?” Andrea said.
“Yeah, why? wait, just come inside first.”
So they came inside and we all sat at the island in the kitchen.
“So are you positive you’re okay? because it looked like you were crying” Andrea said.
“What? No, I’m just tired.”
They didn’t look like they were buying it but I guess they decided to stop asking.
“So, why’d you call us to come here?” Jenn said.
“well umm, Iwanted to ask for some help and by some I think I mean A LOT of help.” I replied.
“what do you need help with?” Andrea asked.
“well umm, boy trouble.” I said.
“oh, I know exactly where this is heading” Andrea said.
“well I don’t” Jenn said looking confused.
Oh yeah, Jenn doesn’t know about any of this yet. Well this might take a while. I didn’t feel like saying the whole story to Jenn so I told Andrea to tell her and she gladly said she would. This was the story in Andrea’s words: “okay, listen Jenn this is what Beth wants to say. She watches Connor’s videos non-stop and she finally met him over the summer at their house welcoming party and she fell in love and I know this because when I first met her she looked like she was about to cry. So, long story short she loves Connor but just won’t admit it.”
“what? nuh-uh! okay, that is all wrong. I do not love him. I just have a tiny little crush on him.” I said.
“Doesn’t sound like just a crush. I mean you cried for him and watch his videos all the time, it’s obviously a little more than a crush. I might not know the whole story but the way you’ve been acting just gives it.” Jenn said.
I didn’t know what to do or say because they had a point kind of.
Then Andrea said “maybe you’re just confused right now” I think she said that because she felt bad. “yeah, i guess. I am really confused and that’s why I called you guys.”
Jenn and Andrea started asking me questions like 'how do you feel?' 'have you had any weird dreams?' 'has anything extremely weird happen?' and questions like that and at the end they said that I was indeed in love with Connor. They also found out about Sam, awkward. I dont know what I got myself into, how did I get here? What did I even do to deserve this? Should I tell my parents and move away from here? Or should I just confess my feelings to Connor? I NEED HELP!! I NEED A SIGN!! Then I heard the doorbell ring. What a coincidence? I ask for a sign and the door rings, cool. Jenn and Andrea yelled “DOOR” and I said “okay! I’m coming!” I went to the door and it was CONNOR!

“hey, aren’t you happy to see me?” he said with a smirk on his face. I just stood there speechless, what was I supposed to do? I blinked a couple of times to make sure it was really him this time and it was because my hand awkwardly reached out for his face but he moved, you can say this was extremely awkward.
I put my hand back down and he grabbed my hand!!! For some reason I was fangirling so hard, as if i saw One Direction.
“OKAY! I admit it I LOVE CONNOR! Did i just say that out loud?! OMG! I JUST SAID THAT OUT LOUD!” He was staring at me with a smirk still on his face and I accidentally slammed the door on him. I automatically reacted, maybe even overreacted but I just told the person I like that I liked them and I might’ve yelled at the top of my lungs after that. Which is why Andrea and Jenn came running up to me, Iwas on the floor frozen. I have no idea what just happened and why. Now what? Jenn and Andrea ran up to with worried faces and were freaking out, they were like 'OMG WHAT HAPPENED? BETH?! ARE YOU OKAY?! ARE YOU HURT? WHAT HAPPENED?!' And I just sat there by the door, shaking a little. I was really scared, happy I don’t know. I felt mixed emotions.
Jenn looked out the window and said "hey look Andrea, it's Connor" and I just sat there frozen.
They both look out the window and start whispering to each other, about what though?
Andrea tries to pull me away from the door but I use all my strength to try and stay on the floor. Andrea was pretty strong, she slowly pulled me away from the door and dragged me across the floor and Jenn quickly opens the door. I try to run away but Andrea blocks my way. I just kept looking at the floor, just thinking what I should do. I don’t know if I should be laughing or crying or what. Now, Jenn and Andrea are trying to block me from running upstairs and Connor is just standing by the door with the door wide open, I decide to make a run for it. Funny, because I’m running away from my own house. I run towards the door and almost run into Connor but I kind of pushed him a little to the side. I just ran, I ran to the park that i usually go to. The same park I had went to at the beginning of all of this. I hear Connor, Andrea and Jenn yell my name and I could feel them staring at me but I just kept running and made a turn so that was out of their sight. I sat on a bench and i found the piece of papers! It was Sam's and Kian's number. I ripped it up and threw it on the grass. I wanted nothing to do with o2l. I just want them to leave my life! I hated it! I took out my pocket knife, I have it for self defense, and i opened it...
I just stared at the knife I was holding, what am I gonna do with this? I put it against my wrist and then I just broke down. I couldn’t cut myself. I had besties who looked up to me. I didn’t want to do this. So I let go of the knife and it fell onto the grass. I had a scratch on my wrist from the knife, I didn’t want to cut myself. It was bleeding a little but not as much. It was just like getting a paper cut, it was nothing. But I just sat there in the grass hiding my face in my knees crying. I was pouring tears, good thing barely anyone knew about this park. I wanted to leave this city, state, country, world, universe. Why did I have to go through this?! Did I deserve this? What did I do wrong? I didn’t know what to do anymore. I just sat there trying to calm myself, but it was impossible! I just stared at the grass, my wrist and myself. My phone started to vibrate, I turned it off and threw it across the park. I was no longer sitting on the bench, I already fell onto the grass crying. My parents will be home soon, I couldn’t let them see me like this. I had to get my sh*t together. Then I see ALL the boys! NOT just ONE! but ALL SIX! Trevor was there, I didn’t have a problem with him so it was okay but Connor, Sam, Kian, Jc and Ricky were there. So was Andrea and Jenn. My biggest problem was Connor, Sam and Kian. But I think Kian was a LITTLE nicer because Andrea was there. I wanted to run, but where would I run? This was the only place I was safe and plus they were all surrounding the park. There was NO escape.
What was I going to do? There were more than 6 people surrounding me, there was no where to run or hide. I just fell there, I just collapsed onto the ground crying. They all came running to me and I was hesitating on whether I should get up and run or not, but i decided to just stay there on the grass because I was too weak to move. They were all on top of me, worried sick. I just kept crying, nothing helped and nothing changed. It was no use. My phone was broken, so I got up and walked home. They were all following me and I just ignored them. I was pretending like as if they weren't there, I ignored them completely. It was so hard because they wouldn't shut up, but I managed. I got home, not even caring about anything, it's like everything turned upside down. I wanted to be alone now, so i grabbed the home phone and ran to my room and locked it as fast as I could. I even shut the windows and everything. I heard half of them at my door and a few minutes later the other half were knocking on my window. I called my sister and mom, three way phone call. I went to my bathroom, which by the way was in my room and locked the door. Now, no one could hear me, I was tearing up a little and Briddy and my mom were worried. All I said was "I want to go! I have to leave!" It was quiet for a few seconds...
I talked to briddy and my mom and my mom told me and briddy some surprising news! She said that we were moving because my dad got a job in Minnesota and my besties were getting a little out of hand. They were trying to find out where I live, so my mom figured that we should just move to another state, and it would be a little more private. I obviously agreed because it was either that or staying here with o2l. I wanted to leave, and forget about o2l. My mom said that we'd be moving in less than a week because most of their stuff was already there, supposedly that's what they've been doing while I was in all this o2l drama. I decided to start packing a few of my stuff. I was kind of happy, but at the same time, a little upset. I was hoping everyone would leave my house so that I could pack everything around the house and all of that.
It was 3am now, I thought everyone had left. I go downstairs, and I find ALL of them sleeping in my living room. Wow, yay! I tried to be as quiet as possible. I decided to just pack all my makeup and little stuff like that, and all the things that were important and I was going to leave. But I remembered I couldn't because I had no where to go and no cell phone. I went back up to my room, guess what? I tripped on the stairs, making loud thump sounds and bumps and all those sounds, waking everyone up. GREAT! Just what I needed.
I saw someone sit up, I was assuming it was a guy because Andrea and Jenn had long hair, it was still dark so I couldn't exactly see who it was. But they turned their head and looked at me, I didn't know if I should've ran or stayed still so I stayed still, also because I couldn't move. I think i hurt my leg because it was hurting a little, I probably sprained my ankle. But then the guy stood up and everyone woke up and either Jenn or Andrea turned the light on. Some of them were worried because i was just there lying on the stairs and the others were worried because I had a luggage with me. I tried to stand up but my ankle was hurting. They all came running up to me, it was kind of funny because they were ALL treating me like I was the queen or something.
Ricky said "oh my gosh beth are you okay?" Then Andrea said "did you sprain your ankle?" Then Sam said "why do you have a luggage?" And everyone just stared at me. Then finally Kian carried me and said "let's take her to the hospital" Andrea and Kian helped me, and the rest just followed. I wonder who's car we were going to take and how everyone would fit. Jenn said "i'll stay cause we aren't all gonna fit in the car" then everyone looked at each other giving the "NOT IT" look. In the end they decided that Andrea, Kian, Ricky and Sam would come. Connor looked worried and upset but the last thing I needed was for Connor to be with me at this moment. We went to the hospital and they just put a bandage thing on my ankle, it was kind of heavy for my ankle so I was limping, it would be a couple of weeks before I could walk normally again. We got back to my house. They were still all praising me. Jc said "you never answered us, why did you have your luggage?" I stayed quiet. I didn't make eye contact, we were all in the dining room and I just continued eating, I just stared at my food from taco bell. We all ordered taco bell, because taco bell. It was weird, all they did was stare at me. I didn't know if i could tell them I was moving and so I decided not to, not yet at least.

t's been a few days since the ‘falling flat on my face on the stairs’ incident but they still won't leave me alone. At least, they don't sleep at my house anymore, I was kinda hinting towards them that they're annoying me now and so they left. But they still call and text me and visit me and it's getting extremely annoying now, I’m not a baby. My mom said that in 2 days i'd have to leave because a new family was moving into the house I’m currently at. Everyday I was packing stuff little by little, it's not like I was gonna bring my refrigerator. I packed all my memorable stuff and cute clothes and all my makeup, and I made sure to pack all the stuff my besties sent me. I hit four million subscribers and I've been too busy worrying about o2l to actually appreciate it. I decided to party when I move and not now while I still have them all over me. I wanted to leave tonight, so I called my mom and she said they'd pick me up. I was so ready to leave all this behind. I needed a new cell phone, but I decided to wait until I move so that none of them could find my number in any way. I just layed in my bed one last time, I was leaving it behind because my new house already had new furniture and all that. I just stared at my almost fully empty room. I was gonna miss this place, but I have to leave. Tears came down my face and later I fell asleep. I woke up to my mom shaking me. I was happy to see her after a long time, I stood up and gave her a big hug.
She said "are you ready?"
I looked around and said "yup."
We started heading out and got into the car where I saw my dad, I gave him a hug and we drove to the airport. My mom and dad dealt with my bags and stuff and I just sat in a seat, waiting.
A few minutes later, my mom and dad were in front of me and they said "hey beth, we're all gonna be separated on the plane because they messed up our tickets but we'll all be on the same plane and everything so it's okay, is that okay with you?"
"Um yeah, it's okay" I said. Then I heard the announcement saying our plane was about to arrive so we started heading towards our plane. I looked for my seat and sat down, I got a window seat, yay! Hopefully an annoying little kid or creepy old guy doesn't sit next to me. My mom and dad were on the other side of the plane but it's okay, I'll most likely just fall asleep anyways. Then I see this tall guy with amazing hair get on the plane, his eyes were beautiful and guess what? His seat was next to mine. This was going to be an interesting plane ride.
This cute boy oddly, looked alot like connor, but I thought to myself 'okay, I need to stop thinking about connor! Maybe this is just a sign, I need to get over him! I smiled at the boy while he took his seat. His eyes were beautiful. Somehow we ended up chatting, he said that he was going back home from cali, because he was on a trip and he was visiting a family member that lived in california. He said the town he lived in and coincidentally that's where I’m moving. It was so weird. He asked me if I wanted to get coffee sometime, I obviously said yes. He was a college student and he was single and we ended up talking throughout the plane ride and he gave me his number and I couldn't give him mine because i needed a new phone but we chatted and talked and all that. Then we landed and we headed our separate ways. I couldn't wait to move into my new room, i always loved redecorating my room. The house was beautiful, there was a huge backyard and a pool which would be perfect for filming. So many of my besties were requesting a room tour and I couldn't wait to finish fixing my room so that I could film it. So far, it's great. I ended up falling asleep because it was a long plane ride and I didn't take a nap on the plane because I was too busy talking to Brandon. Did I mention his name was Brandon.
Since I took that nap I was up the whole night. I decided to stay up and film a video. "Hey guys! Today I'll be showing you my April favorites! The background may look different because I moved." I decided not to tell my viewers where i moved, just in case any of the boys watched it. About an hour later, I finished filming and I was too lazy to edit so I stayed up on twitter, Instagram and catching up on my favorite tv shows on Netflix. Twitter was a fiasco because all the boys were direct messaging me and they tweeted me a few times. I ignored it. Then I went on Instagram and posted a selfie, they commented on it but I pretended not to see it. Then, because of the new Instagram update, they were direct messaging me there too. I logged out of all my social media sites and decided to just watch movies and tv shows on Netflix. I woke up, it was already 1pm. I guess I fell asleep while watching. I decided to go outside and explore this new state. I was craving some Starbucks, so I looked up on the internet where the nearest Starbucks was and it was only a few blocks away. I also looked up where the nearest Apple store was, I needed to get a new phone, it wasn't that far. I got dressed, in a casual and comfy outfit and grabbed my mini purse. I went downstairs, yelling "MOM! I’m going out to Starbucks and getting a new cell phone, I’ll be home later" and she said "okay! Just be careful!" And then I was on my way. I wasn't really in a rush, so I just strolled and looked around, my neighborhood was really quiet, i don't think many kids lived around here.
I decided to go to the Apple store first. I was planning on getting the new iphone 5s. I got the gold one, with no problem and I called my mom telling her this was my new number. Then I headed to Starbucks. I finally got to Starbucks. I ordered a cotton candy frap, my favorite and a chocolate chip cookie. I took a seat and went on my phone and then someone accidentally tripped over my foot. I looked up and said "oh my gosh, I am so sorry" and I moved my foot. I looked up again and realized it was Brandon.
"Oh hey Beth" he said.
"Hi" I said with a smile.
"Do you mind" he said pointing at the chair across from me. "No not at all" I replied and he took a seat.
"So what are you doing here?" he asked me.
"Oh, I just wanted some Starbucks and I wanted to explore the new place, how about you?"
"I live only two blocks away from here, I usually go here to work because free wi-fi, just kidding, but I do go here to do work." I laughed a little, "You live around here?" He nodded.
"I live only a few blocks away" I said.
"Who knew that a stranger you met on the airplane would become your neighbor" and we both laughed even though it wasn't that funny.
We chatted for a little longer and then it was already 5. I got a text from my mom saying to be home before dinner. Dinner was at 6:30-ish. So we had a little time left but I was tired since I stayed up all night so I said to Brandon. "Hey, my mom just texted, I have to head home now." "Oh okay, let me drop you off" he said. "No, it's okay. It's only a few blocks away." I said. "I insist" he replied. And so I allowed him to escort me home. We walked home really slowly, we chatted and had our laughs and all that. He was a really sweet guy. We got to my house. My mom came at the door and I introduced my mom to Brandon.
"Why don't you join us for dinner?" My mom asked Brandon and i just stood there awkwardly smiling.
"Are you sure, I don't wanna be a bother" he said.
"Of course, it'd be nice to meet one of Bethany's friends" and before the blink of an eye, we were all sitting at the dinner table.
This was kind of awkward. My mom kept asking Brandon questions, supposedly he has three siblings and two of them live with him and his parents. I didn't bother asking about his other sibling because my mom was already asking enough questions. We finished eating our spaghetti, it was delicious. "Thank you for this yummy dinner Mrs.Mota" Brandon said. "Call me Tammy" my mom said.
"Well, i have to go now, I still have to get up early." he said. "Bye" and he left.
Then my mom said "he seems like a really nice guy" and I whined, "Mom!" And we laughed. I headed upstairs and got ready for bed, I knocked out.

The next day, Brandon texted me asking if I wanted to come over, I said yes since I had nothing better to do. He said he would pick me up at 4, and we'd have an early dinner. For the meantime, I took Winnie, my dog, out for a walk. I sat on a bench, trying not to remember the other park I used to always go to alone but it was hard. There was barely anyone at the park, but it was really pretty. The grass, the trees, the sun shining, it was just a beautiful day. I started to head home because I had to get ready for the early dinner at Brandon's house. So Winnie and I headed home and I got ready. I dressed up kind of dressy but not formal, I wore a skater skirt and a crop top with some combat boots and i obviously had my bow in my hair. I did my makeup and hair, I think it was really cute.
I heard my mom yell "Beth, Brandon's here!"
I grabbed my cross body purse and headed downstairs. He stared at me and I just blushed.
"Bye mom" and I gave her a hug.
"Be home before 10" she said.
"Okay" Brandon and I said.
His car was parked outside, and I asked "why do you have your car? don't you live like 2 blocks away?"
"yeah, but I just came from school" and we got in the car.
He was driving and he said "don't worry, it'll be just my parents, and all my siblings and you and I" he smiled. I was confused because I thought only two of his siblings lived with him, i guess his other sibling came to visit.
I walked inside the house. There were a lot of family pictures hanging around and the house felt really comfy and warm.
“Hey Beth, i’ll be right back, I’m gonna change” Brandon said.
“Okay, i’ll just be here” I said.
“Okay” he said while he walked upstairs.
I looked around at all the pictures, most of them were him, his brother, his sister and his parents but there were some pictures where there were two of his brothers.
“This looks alot like--”
I was cut off when Brandon said “Me?”
“Well obviously, isn’t he your brother?” I asked.”
“Now you know the truth, my full name is Brandon Franta and he is my brother” he said.
I didn’t know how to feel because first I was confused then I thought to myself ‘well no wonder he reminded me of him’ and at the same time I was scared. But what I’m wondering is why he didn’t tell me, and it was like he read my mind.
“The reason I didn’t tell you is because whenever I tell a girl I’m Connor’s brother all they start to do is talk about him and ask me for autographs, phone numbers, twitter follows, I didn’t want you to like me because I was the little brother of a famous youtuber” he explained.
“Well, just your luck because i hate him, that’s one of the reasons i moved here.”
And then i heard someone behind me say “really?” I turned around and it was…..
It was Connor Franta. I had no idea what to do, should I stay? Should I talk to him? Should I leave? Should I just run away? I can’t always run away from my problems. It was like he was coming after me, he was haunting me and he’d never leave.
“Wait, you two know each other?” Brandon asked.
“You know she’s a youtuber too, she’s more famous than me.” Connor said.
“You are?” Brandon asked looking at me.
“I thought you knew?” I was confused and I think we all were.
Then there was an awkward silence and their mom yelled, loudly but sweetly “Dinner’s ready!”
Now I couldn’t just leave, it would be awkward and I find it a little rude so I decided to stay for a while. We all slowly walked to the dinner table and took our seats. Connor, Brandon and I just stared at each other.
Then Brandon said “This is Nicola, our sister and these are our parents. Everyone meet Bethany” I smiled and just sat there awkwardly, what else was I supposed to do?
Their mom got up and went to the kitchen, she came out with some delicious smelling food. We all started eating and I could feel Connor and Brandon staring at me. It was so awkward. I just wanted to leave, what was I going to do now? I just moved and I'm already back into all this drama. Would it just be easier if I disappeared forever? Sometimes, I wonder if that's the only choice i have or if it's the only right thing to do. But then I thought about my parents, my sister, my niece and my besties also known as my viewers. They would all be devastated and that would lead to more problems. I guess the only thing I could do is suck it up and deal with it, no matter how difficult it is.
We finished eating and it was already 9:30, Brandon looked at the time on his phone and said
"Hey Beth, i promised your mom that I'd have you home by 10 so we better head home now."
I could feel Connor staring at us and so I told Brandon
"yeah, we better start walking home, because we walk pretty slow" and i faked a laugh.
"Hey Brandon, why don't I join you guys? It's pretty dark and you shouldn't be out alone at this time, you know I'm just being a big brother" Connor said.
I death stared Connor, it was kind of funny, but I tried not to laugh. "Con, I'm not a little kid, I'm in college and it's not even that late. I'm pretty sure I can walk like three blocks by myself in the neighborhood I grew up in” Brandon said.
I hope they weren't going to start fighting in front of me.
"Well, I have to go to the store anyways, so I might as well." Connor said.
"No, you can go to the store and I can drop her off." Brandon said.
"I'll just go home alone, it's okay. I'll manage." I said.
And then they both yelled "NO!" and I laughed and started heading to the door.
Someone grabbed my arm and I kicked them, it was just me defending myself and it was an accident, how else was i supposed to react? I was positive that it was Connor who grabbed my arm but I turned around and saw Brandon on the floor. I bent down and apologized. "Oh my gosh Brandon! I'm so sorry, I thought you were Connor"
“cough cough” i heard Connor fake cough, i looked up and ignored him.
"It's okay" Brandon said trying to get up, I think I hurt his leg really badly. I felt bad. Their parents came down and looked at us.
"What happened?" Mrs. Franta said.
"I fell and hurt my leg" Brandon said.
"No, I accidentally--" then Connor cut me off and said "I accidentally pushed him and he fell on his leg" "Help me bring him to the couch" Mrs. Franta said. We did and then my phone rang, it was my mom, i looked at the time and it was 9:59.
"Oh my gosh, I have to go home now, I'm really sorry." I told them. "Let me drop you off" Connor suggested. "No, it's okay, take care of your brother." I said, really not wanting him to. "It's okay! Connor, go drop her off. It's really dark out, who knows what could happen" Mrs. Franta said not knowing about our past. I couldn't say no anymore because I thought it would be rude and I hate being rude. We were walking, I was trying to walk fast, because the faster I get home, the faster I won't have to see Connor. He kept trying to talk to me, he walked faster than me so i couldn't stay away from him, after all he was very athletic. I heard him talking to me but I pretended not to.
"Beth, can we talk?"
*silence*
"Hey Beth!"
*nothing*
"Hello? Bethany Noel Mota!" I turned around and yelled "WHAT?!" He looked like i just stabbed a knife through his heart. I could see through the look on his face and his eyes that he was hurt but it's not like they never hurt me. We continued walking. Now, I felt bad cause he kept quiet and he walked behind me and when I turned around, he walked slowly, looking at the ground with is hands in his pocket. He deserved it.
We finally got to my house, I said "bye connor" and he looked up and just waved at me. I went inside and looked out the window, he stood in front of my house for a while and then walked away. He still looked upset, not my fault. But there was a tiny part of me that felt a little guilty.
What have I gotten myself into?

It was 11:30 and I couldn’t fall asleep. I went on my phone and I checked to see what was new since I haven’t been on twitter or instagram for a while. I had so many notifications, but a lot of them were from today. I check and see that more than a thousand people tweeted me a link to a youtube video, people even direct messaged me the link, they all looked like the same link. What video was it? I wasn’t sure if I should click on the link or not, but I did because why not? It was video by Connor Franta? And it was uploaded almost an hour ago. The title of the video was ‘sorry’ and the thumbnail of the video was him with a frown on his face, but his eyes were so beautiful, they sparkled and were a gorgeous green color. I decided to watch it because at this point, what else did I have to lose?
“Hey what’s up you guys, it’s Connor. Today I have a different kind of video for you guys, and I know it’s not Monday but it’s important to me and this video is special and I appreciate all your support” I kept watching, I was kind of confused.
“Most of you should know who Bethany Mota is, if you don’t, she’s known as Macbarbie07 on youtube and she’s the most beautiful and sweetest girl ever.”
I had a bad feeling of where this was going. But that line made me blush, he was sweet.
“I’ve had a crush on her for a long time and she’s one of the only beauty gurus I watch. Even if I don’t use makeup, I love watching her. I am confessing all of this, right now she’s mad at me, but I want her to know that I’m sorry, I’ve been a jerk and I’m really sorry. When I first met you, my heart skipped a beat. Ava ruined everything, you’re the one I like, not Ava”
At this point, I was tearing up because all the memories since the party were coming back to me. I’ve been through so much with these boys.
“So, Bethany Noel Mota, will you please forgive me and be my girlfriend” he looked straight into the camera and continued with...
Then I heard a knock on my window, which was weird because my room was on the second floor. I paused the video and walked towards my window. I slowly pushed away the curtains and I saw Connor struggling to stay up. I opened the window and he held out a necklace. It was so beautiful, it said Cethany inside of a heart (cethany was the ship name that our fans gave us). I held his hand and he came inside my room, knelt on the ground and said “Will you be my girlfriend?” I looked him in the eye and thought about it for a few seconds. Finally, I managed to get a word come out of my mouth, “YES!” I said with a huge smile on my face. He stood up and I gave him a huge hug. He put the necklace around me and he turned me around and slowly kissed me. It didn’t feel real, it felt like a dream. I felt like Cinderella. Suddenly, everything felt so right.
“So that’s how I knew you were the one for me. You were the boy of my dreams.” I said and Connor just stared at me with a smile on his face and his eyes sparkling.