Dear nervous feeling in my stomach,

I don't like you. You come at the most inconvenient times, ruin my, normally unsatisfiable, appetite, and make me feel like the entire world is staring at me.

You come with anticipation and worry, when my love tells me how beautiful I look today, or after I watch "The Woman in Black" after dark.

I'm sure I'm not the only one you constantly annoy. I'm sure millions of other teens are tortured by you and your other symptoms. I can't be the only one. I know I'm not.

Dear nervous feeling, tell me, why am I worried? Why do I worry if he's lying when he calls me beautiful? Why am I afraid when I don't have to be?



Peace out,




Niylalee

Dear really good book,

How I love to get lost in you? You are my escape to another world, to a different realm.

You have been my escape from stress, my getaway from the angry life I live. From Anne Rice and her vampires to Fifty Shades, you have always been there to provide relief from the pain of reality and inspiration to the writings in this notebook.

So, thank you, wonderful books and thank you to the authors that write you. We, the wanna-be teen writers of the world, salute you.




Peace out,





Niylalee

Dear amazing smartphone,

What did I ever do without you? With your Internet access, facebook, twitter, dictionary app., temple run and angry birds (which I can never win at), and amazing touch screen, I don't know how I ever survived without you before! Love ya!




Peace out,




Niylalee

Dear Black Veil Brides,

This is probably something you will never read, but I'm gonna write it anyway.

You are my favorite band and I need to say thank you for so many things. The words of your songs have made me feel like I'm not so alone in the world. Like I'm not the only one with relationship problems, mommy/daddy/family issues, regrets, and hurts. I don't feel so alone, and your music help me see it some how.

I use to get teased and picked on in school. Suprise, surprise, I wasn't the coolest kid on the block. I was picked on for not having the coolest new clothes, believing different ideas than others, for even being nice to others like me, etc. I was bullied because I was different. I found comfort in my writing. Then I heard your music, and I realized ... I don't have to feel so alone. I don't have to change who I am for acceptance; I don't even have to care if they accept me or not. Let them talk. Let me be the fallen angel rather than someone I'm not.

To you, I'm just another fan, another face in the crowd. But you will never truly know how grateful I am that you are not afraid to be different, how grateful I am that your music (in all its rock n roll glory) has changed me and helped me see I can be ... me. Thank you.



Peace out,




Niylalee

Although I am still waiting for my pony I asked for when I was 6, I have some new request to ask for.
Here is my revised list:

1. World Peace. Because war is stupid and gets nothing accomplished. The only thing it leads to is the death of millions of people on both sides and the destruction of cities and towns. World peace would save everyone a lot of trouble. Why can't we just talk our problems out?

2. An end to world hunger. I have been blessed with food in my tummy. Other people around the world are less lucky than I. Children, parents, brothers and sister, aunts and uncles, cousins, etc., are starving. Can we give them a Christmas feast, please?

3. That every lonely person finds someone to love. Like I did.

Thanks Santa. And you know ... that pony doesn't seem so important anymore.



Peace out,




Niylalee

Dear Hogwarts,
Where is my acceptance letter? I am not a muggle! I have been waiting since I was 11 for the owl to come flooding into my bedroom window. Maybe my owl got lost and my letter got sent to the wrong house, to the wrong kid! Come on Hogwarts! I wanna learn some magic here!



Peace out,




Niylalee

Dear pair of jeans I cannot fit in to,

Darn you!!! Why are you too small? My last pair of clean jeans and you refuse to button! I jump up and down, tuck in fat, suck in my gut, and even try laying down to try and button you, but nothing is working!

I refuse you despair! You will not ruin my day. I'll wear sweats!


Peace out,



Niylalee

Dear Mom and Dad,

I know things are rough right now. We are all hurt by the current situation we are in and everything that has happened so far. But I love you both; I want you both to know that.

I could not stand the constant fighting and drama, being talked down to, and feeling uncomfortable and unwelcome in my own house by the person I share a bedroom with. I did what was best for me. I got out of a environment that was killing me a little more each day I was there. For now, this is my solution. You call it running away; I call it getting away from an unhealthy relationship with the girl I use to call friend and sister.

I'm at Uncle Tim and Aunt Viv's house. They are taking good care of me. I love you and miss you both. As for Brittney, maybe one day I'll find it in my heart to forgive her.



As for now, love,




Niylalee

Dear 3 AM,

Why am I even seeing you? I look over to my clock, and there you are, mocking me. In the morning, I will have dark circles under my eyes and be too tired to even think!

Why am I talking to you? It is too early for any normal human being to be awake. But then again, I never said I was normal. I feel the need for some caffeine and some loud rock n' roll music. This is too much.

Why am I awake? I glance at my cellphone, still laying in my hand and see a new text message. It reads, "I miss you". Wait ... that's right. He's the reason I'm awake. My dear, sweet James.

It is too early for any normal human being to be awake. We never said we were normal.




Peace out,





Niylalee

Dear James,

You are so down on yourself all the time and I am sick of it! I love you and there are not enough pages in this book to talk about all the great things about you that I admire. But I could name a few:

1. I love how freakin' tall you are! You make me feel so tiny compared to you, but, more importantly, you make me feel safe.

2. You're blind. Because you are always telling me how beautiful I am.

3. Your eyes. You have those brown eyes that I just get lost in.

4. Your voice. Please sing "Trouble with Girls" for me just one more time.

5. You love me with all you have. What more can I ask for?



Love,



Niylalee

Dear my old friend,

I've missed you! We haven't hung out in so long ... until today! It was so much fun! I hope you had as much fun as I did. Because I did. Let's do it again some time, ok? Let's go for Chinese food next time, alright? Until next time, old friend.



Peace out,




Niylalee
P.S. You rock my socks girl!!!

Dear College,

I have looked forward to you for some time. I have stressed over choosing which one of you I will attend, how I'm going to pay for you, what I'm going to study, and where I am going to live when I get there.

But I have dreamed about the freedom of being on my own, doing my own thing on my own time, making new friends, and even attending a party or two. Sounds fun, right? I can be whoever I want to be. It is the start of my new life as the person I only dreamed I could become. The real me.

College, I hope you can handle the real me. I look forward to the freedom. I won't have to be that little shy, awkward girl anymore. I'm free to be anyone I want to be.

I still stress over things above, but the joy and freedom that comes with this new chapter in my life outweighs any worry I ever had.


Peace out,



Niylalee

Dear imperfect me,

So what if you've gained 5 pounds?! You are awesome, curvy, sexy, talented, smart, and you are always so down on yourself and I am SICK of it!!! I will not tolerate any more hateful remarks about your "fatness" or wish you looked like that supermodel on that magazine you saw the other day any longer! You have a man that loves you and thinks you are hotter than a sack of potatoes!

You are imperfect. No one is perfect. But it is your imperfections that make you you. The you that that boy loves with all his heart. Your imperfections make you unique. Be proud of them, girl!




Peace out,




Niylalee

Dear Diet Dr. Pepper,

I love you! You are the only good tasting, diet item that I love to indulge in.

You are amazing!



Peace out,




Niylalee

Dear Paris,

How I have admired and adored your sights and sounds from afar, but never truly experienced them! I long to visit you and see the glory I have only seen in pictures. Your sights have inspired writers, like myself, and artist alike.

I have heard you are the city of romance. Is that true? Are you the home of french kissing too? Just kidding! LOL! I long to take James there one day and look out at your lights from your famous tower.




Peace out,





Niylalee

Dear hope,

Where are you hiding? The sky looks bleak and grey when you are not around. I feel ... hopeless. No pun intended.

You are a confident expectation for the future. I am confident you will pull through for me. My future looks brighter with you in it.




Peace out,





Niylalee

Dear Boring History Class,

Why must you be so boring? Why must my teacher have a french accent? Why do i have to take you?

You make me question if I chose the right major or not. History is my major and a subject I use to be fairly good at. Until I got to your class ....

I am determined to pass you, boring class. But remember, there is only so much french accent I can take at one time ....
Peace out,
Niylalee