My entire perspective changed in the span of a single conversation.

That day, like all the others, followed the same boring routine: wake up, go to school, go home, do whatever, eat, do whatever, then go to bed. The only variance was the occasional extracurricular activity and what occurred in school. However, school was always easy for me. I never struggled or had to exert myself. The apple of my family’s eyes, I got whatever I wanted without much effort. This ease was the foundation upon which my arrogant, selfish nature was built. No matter what, I never admitted to being wrong or at fault. I would always have an excuse. Furthermore, I couldn’t be bothered to help others, and too often I perceived them as inferior. Despite my hideous personality, life was easy, if a little boring. I had no worries.

That day, my monotonous life was drenched in the harsh color of reality. The incident occurred near the end of my second “do whatever” phase. It was almost 11 PM when a chat box popped up. Receiving any chat at all was unusual for me. I thought it was Alan, my best friend and classmate of four years. But it was Lily. Lily was also my fellow schoolmate of four years but in that time we never got close. Only recently had we started talking, and when we talked it was almost always about Alan, who she liked at the time.

L: “Hey. Are you there?”
W: “Now I am. Do you need something?”
   

I should just ignore it, I thought to myself - I’m not obligated to talk to her. I wanted to go to bed. I didn’t want to respond because she probably wants me to help her and I really didn’t care. And help this late is so unreasonable - who would expect anyone to be up at this hour?
   

I didn’t realize then that her “hey” had a reason. That her “hey” was an act of reaching out. That her “hey” was a way of asking for help, support in the unlikely form of an arrogant, flippant classmate. But, ignorant as I was, I responded with slight irritation, and the conversation continued.
L: “Well uh, I don’t mean to…”
W: “If you aren’t gonna say anything, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”
L: “Wait, I need your help.”
W: “Homework help? Sorry but I already packed my stuff up.”
L: “No… it’s something else.”
   

Well spit it out already! What do you want? Why do I even care, it’s probably about Alan. Maybe she wants me to help her with him?

    I looked around for an answer and I found one. Looking around my email, I noticed something peculiar. Lily’s status had changed from the usual cheerful joke to an ominous “Bleach, iron, or noose?”
   

Something is definitely off, I thought to myself. Then it hit me like a train. She was awake at almost 11 pm, with a creepy status, talking to a person that was at most an acquaintance, and it wasn’t about school work.
    

She had the courage to confide in me even though she didn’t even know me personally. Lily, searching for support that she couldn’t find from those closest to her, had come to me as her last resort. Even if it turned out to be her asking for help with Alan, so be it. If she trusted me and was brave enough to ask for help, the least I could do was try. So, it was with a slight curiosity and growing concern that I responded and the conversation continued.

W: “What is it then?”
L: “ I want to die.”
    Something bigger than a train that hit me this time. In fact, I couldn’t even comprehend the situation. I, who she only began talking to several months ago, was the person she went to in her time of need. Why?
W: “You're joking, right?”
L: “No, I’m not. Ever since I was hospitalized earlier this year my life started falling apart. No one understands me, my parents are getting divorced, and my life is terrible. I want to die.”
   

My mind blanked. I barely talk to her, she doesn’t know me, so why is she telling me all this? Why me?! The gravity of the situation was crushing.  I didn’t know what to say. Even if I did, anything I said wouldn’t have much of an effect... right? My heart yearned to help, but how?
   

It dawned on me that her reason didn’t really matter. The fact that she chose me, out of
all the people that loved her, all the people that knew her beyond a few passing conversations
about her crush, meant that it had fallen on me to remind her that we all cared. What I said to her
would undoubtedly have an effect. She was depending on me; I had to say at least a few words.

And with that in mind, I responded and our conversation resumed.

W: “I don’t want this to sound rude or generic but by committing suicide, you might alleviate a burden from yourself, but you're putting a huge one on your friends and family who care about you. So please don’t, ok?”
L: “Do you even care? Does anyone even care?”
   

This one struck me hard. My answer was obvious: “Of course I care. I’m sure your parents care too.” But that wasn’t true just ten minutes ago. What changed? Why do I care so much now when just ten minutes ago I couldn’t even be bothered to take out my homework? These few words made me angry at what I was.
   

In the passing of our conversation, I had not only changed, but matured. A few words can
make anyone change. After a slight hesitation, I responded, and the conversation continued.

W: “Of course I care! I’m sure I’m not the only one either.”
L: “really?”
   

Unlike her last question, I confirmed that I truly believed what I was about to
say next. I actually cared now. There were no doubts this time. No questions. I knew that I could
help her. I wanted to help her. So I did my best to help her. I responded.

W: “Definitely yes.”
L: “Well, I’m getting tired. I think I’m going to go to bed”
W: “Please don’t do anything that’ll make me regret letting you stop talking to me.”
L: “Good night.”
W: “Good night! I’ll see you tomorrow?”

    A stream of thought flooded my mind. What would have happened if I just ignored that first chat? What would she have done if I didn’t see those initial signs? That was when I realized the power of a few words. A few words from a stranger could change the day, the month, the year, the life of somebody. A few words could alter a perspective entirely. A few words could make me care. A few words were not necessarily few in meaning. A few words are powerful.

After what felt like forever, she finally responded.

L: “yeah, probably”
*Lily has gone offline*