Fitting In | Teen Ink

Fitting In MAG

By MonicaMS BRONZE, Providence, Rhode Island
MonicaMS BRONZE, Providence, Rhode Island
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

I wouldn't ask for a dressing room. My mom always asked for me.
The evening before I had repeatedly risen from my seat and piled on excess noodles suffocated in meat sauce. Then I licked my bowl with the buttered garlic bread, leaving no evidence of the four servings I had inhaled. In the morning I would be forced to lie on my bed and suck in my stomach just to button my jeans. I dreaded school shopping. The sale rack, with its slender size markers, knew my number continued to bloat.

I learned how to eat from my dad: fast and without thinking. In our house, the dinner table involved battle, with the children on defense. One false move and our dinner would be snatched off our plates without warning and gobbled up by our father faster than we could blink. We soon learned to keep a hand up while devouring our chicken strips, and if Mom decided to cook that night we needed to hurry and get seconds before it was gone.

Only one pair of jeans I tried on fit. I lied and told my mother I could button every pair but only needed the jeans that lay guarded in my hands. We walked to the checkout.

I kept my head down as we passed a group of girls. They whispered. I glanced up only long enough to know my place. Their eyes cut at me, hands cupped over their mouths in secrecy.


The recess bell rang and I followed two girls in my third grade class out past the monkey bars to the fenced grassy area. We all wore the same clothes that year: khaki pants and polo shirts. Everyone was the same, or that was the idea.

“I like your pants. Where did you get them?” Marcy asked Alicia. I nodded in agreement, thankful they had removed their cupped hands and I could hear the conversation.

“Really? I like yours better,” Alicia replied.

“We should trade. What size are you?” Marcy asked.

“I don't know …” Alicia said, finding the tag in the back of her pants. “Seven.”

“Me too,” Marcy said.


I hid in line as I held the jeans, tag folded in so nobody could see the number inscribed on it was 12. I am not a size seven.

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This article has 348 comments.

blwblw1 SILVER said...
on May. 4 2011 at 6:36 pm
blwblw1 SILVER, Lancaster County, Pennsylvania
8 articles 1 photo 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
Reading takes you into a world far beyond your eyes can see.
L'amor Che More il Sole e L'altre Stelle

the girls that arent skinny just gotta stick together.....we got each others backs:)

SarahW BRONZE said...
on May. 4 2011 at 1:51 pm
SarahW BRONZE, Copperas Cove, Texas
2 articles 1 photo 3 comments
try a 24 on for size

ijok said...
on May. 4 2011 at 9:49 am
thats really sad :(

on Apr. 28 2011 at 4:25 pm
Bambie1314 BRONZE, Idaho Springs, Colorado
1 article 1 photo 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
A painter paints pictures on canvas. But musicians paint their pictures on silence. ~Leopold Stokowski

It was great! I know how you feel. I was larger in 3rd grade too, and I still am. Your essay was really touching.

blwblw1 SILVER said...
on Apr. 25 2011 at 7:57 pm
blwblw1 SILVER, Lancaster County, Pennsylvania
8 articles 1 photo 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
Reading takes you into a world far beyond your eyes can see.
L'amor Che More il Sole e L'altre Stelle

browneyedcat is right size dosent matter. i go through this everyday of my life............the whispering, the laughing, its not going to change just like yourself for who you are. trust me 12 is nothing...................try being a 16................

on Apr. 25 2011 at 2:47 pm
belldandy BRONZE, Ormond Beach, Florida
3 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
she puts her make up on like grafitti on the walls of the heart land :
Billie Joe Armstrong

i can relate  all the girls in my grade  are minature  martha  stewerts  so perfectly  fit well with cloths  it makes me mad because they look at me weird and iam NOT   fat .

browneyedcat said...
on Apr. 25 2011 at 10:21 am
browneyedcat, Melbourne Beach, Florida
0 articles 0 photos 47 comments
Look, size twelve may seem like a big number but lets be honest. A number is a number people. size does not change a person's personality and spirit. Don't feel bad for being who you are. Very beautiful story!!!!

on Apr. 10 2011 at 2:57 pm
livelaughcrushin BRONZE, Az City, Arizona
2 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
“I am nothing special, of this I am sure. I am a common man with common thoughts and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but I've loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough..”

i go through that everytime i am at my friends house and they want to switch clothes

on Apr. 10 2011 at 7:53 am
RadiahMariaBelak BRONZE, Singapore, Other
1 article 3 photos 63 comments
nice story. very nice but pretty sad for your character. hopefully its better currently ;D

on Apr. 2 2011 at 3:32 pm
SomethingLikeFire BRONZE, Mchenry, Illinois
1 article 1 photo 47 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Pippin: What about elevenses? Luncheon? Afternoon tea? Dinner? Supper? He knows about them, doesn't he?" -
-- The Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring

it sounds like the girls parents have forced on her an eating disorder or somethinglike that. u did a great job

skittles:) said...
on Mar. 25 2011 at 12:05 pm

i have never had a problem with my weight, but i know that girl do poke fun of other girl. i kinda catch my self doing it sometimes:/ just prove to the girls that you are just fine the way you are. show them that you don't care what they think. im sure they have a insecurity about them selves. so don't let them get to you. your better than they are. Show them you dont care!

Great story though:))

Aderes47 GOLD said...
on Mar. 16 2011 at 3:09 pm
Aderes47 GOLD, Cambridge, Massachusetts
11 articles 0 photos 897 comments

Favorite Quote:
You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love.
Henry Drummond

It sounds like this person has en eating disorder. 


poptart said...
on Mar. 15 2011 at 9:32 am
hi french toast my name is poptart!

on Mar. 15 2011 at 9:32 am
I hate it when  I go school shopping expecially when you can't find any clothes to buy. But you did an ecillent job at this artical.

poptart said...
on Mar. 15 2011 at 9:29 am

french toast said...
on Mar. 14 2011 at 10:23 am
I thought that your piece was well written. I could fell myself sitting at the dreadful dinner table all those sad nights

mr h said...
on Mar. 14 2011 at 10:18 am
I thought your writing apealed to all kids when they were in third grade.

on Mar. 13 2011 at 5:21 pm
KellyAnne88 GOLD, Long Beach, New York
10 articles 1 photo 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Hey, I heard you were a wild one, all the more fun to persue."

I usually feel the same way. Its sad, because feelings like these come from comparing ourselves to others. Hold your head up high, and be proud, no matter what.

on Mar. 12 2011 at 9:36 am
to.hold.the.sun SILVER, Maryville, Tennessee
9 articles 0 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you'll escape it one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present." -John Green

I used to feel the exact same way. But a size twelve isn't fat. You're not either "fat" or "skinny." There's PLENTY of in-between. Just because I'm not skinny doesn't mean I'm fat. When I realized this, the world literally opened up. But this is great.

msp49 BRONZE said...
on Mar. 7 2011 at 6:49 pm
msp49 BRONZE, Middletown, Connecticut
4 articles 1 photo 39 comments
I love this.  I was in the same position years ago, with the "skinny" girls laughing on the side, making fun of the fat bulging out from my stomach.  I still hate to try on clothes; you're not alone.