Fitting In | Teen Ink

Fitting In MAG

By MonicaMS BRONZE, Providence, Rhode Island
MonicaMS BRONZE, Providence, Rhode Island
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

I wouldn't ask for a dressing room. My mom always asked for me.
The evening before I had repeatedly risen from my seat and piled on excess noodles suffocated in meat sauce. Then I licked my bowl with the buttered garlic bread, leaving no evidence of the four servings I had inhaled. In the morning I would be forced to lie on my bed and suck in my stomach just to button my jeans. I dreaded school shopping. The sale rack, with its slender size markers, knew my number continued to bloat.

I learned how to eat from my dad: fast and without thinking. In our house, the dinner table involved battle, with the children on defense. One false move and our dinner would be snatched off our plates without warning and gobbled up by our father faster than we could blink. We soon learned to keep a hand up while devouring our chicken strips, and if Mom decided to cook that night we needed to hurry and get seconds before it was gone.

Only one pair of jeans I tried on fit. I lied and told my mother I could button every pair but only needed the jeans that lay guarded in my hands. We walked to the checkout.

I kept my head down as we passed a group of girls. They whispered. I glanced up only long enough to know my place. Their eyes cut at me, hands cupped over their mouths in secrecy.


The recess bell rang and I followed two girls in my third grade class out past the monkey bars to the fenced grassy area. We all wore the same clothes that year: khaki pants and polo shirts. Everyone was the same, or that was the idea.

“I like your pants. Where did you get them?” Marcy asked Alicia. I nodded in agreement, thankful they had removed their cupped hands and I could hear the conversation.

“Really? I like yours better,” Alicia replied.

“We should trade. What size are you?” Marcy asked.

“I don't know …” Alicia said, finding the tag in the back of her pants. “Seven.”

“Me too,” Marcy said.


I hid in line as I held the jeans, tag folded in so nobody could see the number inscribed on it was 12. I am not a size seven.

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This article has 348 comments.

on Sep. 4 2009 at 9:48 pm
BellaLuna1 BRONZE, Ozone Park, New York
2 articles 0 photos 93 comments
me too! i know how it feels and i have walked out of a store in tears crying. im not anymore but ive been there

ilikepie said...
on Sep. 4 2009 at 6:59 pm
I loved your story. I've been through a lot of things similar to that, and now I'm used to it, I just ignore them, and smile anyways because I know I;m beautiful, and you are too.

on Jul. 13 2009 at 7:52 am
practicerandomkindness, Rindge, New Hampshire
0 articles 0 photos 46 comments
This is so true and so well-written. I am "normal"(whatever that means) sized, but i didnt used to be and i know how u feel. girls worry about their weight and others' weight too much these days. keep up the good work!

on Jul. 8 2009 at 5:32 pm
montreal132 SILVER, Rush, New York
6 articles 0 photos 22 comments
i can tell you have siblings, because if this was fiction you would not be able to express how kids in a big family eat. ive got two brothers and thats why i eat so fast.

thea22 GOLD said...
on Jun. 29 2009 at 9:07 pm
thea22 GOLD, Queens, New York
11 articles 0 photos 16 comments
this was great! u are u and thats what makes you unique.

on Jun. 22 2009 at 2:37 am
LoveLikeWoe DIAMOND, LeSueur, MN, Minnesota
54 articles 2 photos 748 comments

Favorite Quote:
Whoever laughs first has the sickest mind.

I know how you feel. I'm a seven but i'm NOT skinny believe me. At least you dont go to my school. All the guys go for size zero girls. I hate all of them. But one i think likes me!! *Giggles* i love your piece. It was published on did you know that? cool right?

millz SILVER said...
on May. 19 2009 at 2:20 pm
millz SILVER, Memphis, Tennessee
8 articles 0 photos 19 comments
I love this!!! Dnt be ashamed of your size cuz we cant all be sevens.

Madi182 BRONZE said...
on May. 7 2009 at 4:25 am
Madi182 BRONZE, Callahan, Florida
2 articles 3 photos 1 comment
hey! i loved this. i was just picking a random article to see what kind of writtings other people have and this is the one i landed on! i love it. i like the way you write its very similar to mine actually. but you could be a very great motivational writter!

nana.riley. said...
on Apr. 28 2009 at 4:15 pm
i like this story because im goin through something like that right now. Dont feel ashmed of you size..Be glad of what you have..Dont look at the negitive.....look at the positve.. :)

Nana.. :]

katie101 said...
on Apr. 18 2009 at 1:16 am
katie101, Hueytown, Alabama
0 articles 0 photos 3 comments

This is very good, I felt as if that was me.

on Mar. 3 2009 at 12:24 am
Crystal Rose Vanpool BRONZE, Monessen, Pennsylvania
1 article 7 photos 1 comment
I love this story i hope that there will be more.. i completely understand you and how you felt. I've gone up and down the weight scale yeah it's not fun but who cares it's not about the size jeans you wear it's really about the person inside then once you see that person you can look on the outside. But yes i loved this piece!<3333

menotu said...
on Jan. 30 2009 at 11:24 pm
AWESOME WORK!!!! is it kid 7s or juniors i am a 14-16 in kids (im like 5'3) or a four-6 in juniors

Cutie111 said...
on Jan. 20 2009 at 7:48 pm
I thought this story was really good beacuse i am not a 7 or below i'm a 14 and sometimes i wish i was a 7 but sometimes i like being a 14

on Jan. 20 2009 at 5:58 am
I am not a size 7 either. I am a size 14 today and have always struggled with my weight, although I have never been considered overweight by anyone around me except my mother. Like you, I have known the struggles of never being able to find a pair of jeans that fit me right. I used to think of myself as ugly because I see myself as imperfect, but this year I have made the effort to see myself in a better light and focus on my good qualities. I think everyone, but especially girls, should do that too. Since I have attempted to see my good qualities, I can now see just how pretty my eyes are, how my lips are a perfect color for my skin, and how my excess weight makes my body curve in a way that I actually do like when I dress my body appropriately instead of attempting to dress in clothes that are far too small. Even if I have only one pair of jeans that fit, the important part is that they are the one pair of jeans I do not have to lie on my bed and force the zipper up with.

sleepy390 said...
on Jan. 19 2009 at 10:48 pm
i luv how you wrote this..its really good!! 'but never mind wat hataz say..ignore them til they fade away.!'

Nerdgirl993 said...
on Jan. 19 2009 at 6:57 pm
This really good. u really have some serious talent! i cnt wait to read the rest.

on Jan. 18 2009 at 10:08 pm
You have a lot of talent, this is a very good piece of work. But I want you to know, and everyone else reading this, that no matter your size, you are beautiful. I truly mean that. Not just on the inside, but on the outside too. Only one defines beauty and that is God, He created you with no accidents. You are beautiful, don't let anyone ever tell you diffrent :)

sharpy said...
on Jan. 18 2009 at 8:39 pm
I loved your writing. If i had to rate on a scale of ten, it would be an eleven. I could totally relate to this piece because when I was in third grade I was over weight. At times I did feel alittle self conscience but over the years I lossed the weight and now feel very confident of myself.

Emily123 said...
on Jan. 18 2009 at 6:01 am
Oh wow. This is excellent! This is so relatable to so many people, and leaving the third grade part until the end created an awesome twist. You have great talent! Keep writing!

LoveYourself said...
on Jan. 17 2009 at 11:48 pm
I love it! I mean, come on, though, third grade girls obsessing about weight??? What has this generation of kinds come to??? I may only be 14, but I mean, how did this all start? How did 3rd grade girls even become remotely INTERESTED in how much they weighed???? And I'm not critizing ur piece, if that's what it sounds like...I didn't mean it that way. Sorry if it sounded that way.