Take a Joke, Sweetheart | Teen Ink

Take a Joke, Sweetheart MAG

April 10, 2011
By ohmakemeover BRONZE, Centerville, Minnesota
ohmakemeover BRONZE, Centerville, Minnesota
3 articles 0 photos 98 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Touch comes before sight, before speech. It is the first language and the last, and it always tells the truth."- Margaret Atwood


He leaned over my desk, his body casting a shadow over my writing. Two fists were suddenly pressed hard next to my book, giving him an air of undeserved authority. “You know they're just joking, right?” His voice was gentle, as if he were speaking to a timid animal.

I nodded slowly, confused, trying to focus on my work as my blood boiled. “I'm aware that they're joking, but jokes can be offensive, and I was feeling uncomfortable,” I said.

He took a deep breath, a small, nearly undetectable smile playing at the corners of his mouth. He shoved his sleeves up his arms. “The more you ask them to stop, the more they'll just keep doing it. That's how they work.” He was telling me what many men had tried to explain before: men don't change, men don't stop, men won't listen to you.

And oh, he was so very smart, his words so very wise. I knew that he thought he was imparting some helpful, kind-hearted wisdom on me. He was trying to save the silly girl who was making a fool of herself by refusing to tolerate something that made her and other girls uncomfortable. He was playing big brother, daddy, the savior on a white horse sent to shut me up.

I looked at him, anger burning the back of my neck and my cheeks. “So, because they won't stop, I should just give up? I should let them make sexist jokes that make me very uneasy?” We were in history class. I thought I deserved to feel safe.

His smirk faltered a bit. “They're just joking. They don't actually mean what they say.”

People were watching us; I could feel their eyes. I was suddenly vulnerable. I wanted them to stop staring, to go away. I wanted this boy to sit down and talk instead of towering over me.

“They may mean those jokes to be harmless, but they're ignorant,” I continued. “Believe me, the jokes don't end at ‘Women should stay in the kitchen.' They continue until they become sexual and inappropriate. I want them to stop now before I have even more reason to be angry.” I'd been down this road before, many times.

“I think you should just give it up before they gang up on you,” he replied, calmly and reasonably, like an adult pacifying a cranky child.

I was so upset I wanted to cry, but the steam gathering behind my eyes made tears impossible. I wondered who he thought he was, standing over a girl he'd never spoken to, telling her that her words were useless, that she could try but she'd always fail. If we had been friends, I would have listened; if he'd spoken to me like a peer, I would have cared. But he was just pushing me down, stuffing me into a box until I suffocated on all of my useless, silly words.

I looked him in the eye and said, “If they're going to be rude, then I will be rude back.”

My comment didn't even make sense. Ten minutes earlier, a group of boys had been trading sexist jokes about women. I had turned around in my seat, looked one of the boys in the eye, and said, “Just please stop, for me. I'm asking you to stop.” That boy looked doubtful but he stopped, and I resumed my work. I ­didn't yell, lecture, or swear. I simply asked. I used words, the only weapon I knew how to use, and everything was okay.

Now this boy had the nerve to tell me that my words didn't mean anything. This boy hurt me more than he realized. He tried to take away the only weapon I had to defend myself.

But he didn't have the power to do that. I will never stop fighting for what I believe is right. I will never stop standing up for myself, my friends, and my gender, and I will never stop using my (stupid, useless, fruitless, beautiful, powerful, amazing) words.

He backed away, easing off my desk. Frustration was apparent in his face, but he kept his features stony and emotionless. “Fine, whatever. But you'll never get anywhere with them, believe me.”

I didn't believe him. To this day, I don't believe him, because I have continually used my knowledge and my words to make others rethink their actions. Sometimes I fail and they don't stop. Sometimes my words get me into trouble. But sometimes I even make a new ally.

Little did he know, that boy didn't break me down. He made me stronger.


The author's comments:
This was a pivotal moment in my life as a feminist. This moment helped me to realize my strength as a woman. After this experience, I've never doubted my power to express my feelings with words.

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 81 comments.


on Jun. 6 2012 at 4:03 pm
ashley112027 BRONZE, Grand Rapids, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All you need is 20 seconds of insane courage. Just literally 20 seconds of embarrassing bravery, and I promise you, something great will come out of it."

I loved it!!! Way to stand up for yourself and make a difference!!! What other kind of writing do you do?

on Jun. 4 2012 at 12:13 pm
ohmakemeover BRONZE, Centerville, Minnesota
3 articles 0 photos 98 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Touch comes before sight, before speech. It is the first language and the last, and it always tells the truth."- Margaret Atwood

Thanks for reading! :-)

SamsQ GOLD said...
on Jun. 3 2012 at 7:28 pm
SamsQ GOLD, Naperville, Illinois
11 articles 75 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” - Albus Dumbledore

This is really good!

on May. 6 2012 at 8:56 pm
ohmakemeover BRONZE, Centerville, Minnesota
3 articles 0 photos 98 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Touch comes before sight, before speech. It is the first language and the last, and it always tells the truth."- Margaret Atwood

I'm glad I could reach out to others. <3

rroland GOLD said...
on May. 6 2012 at 7:52 pm
rroland GOLD, Cazenovia, New York
12 articles 0 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
We except the love we think we deserve

I feel this article goes out to EVERY girl or boy that has been a victim of sexist jokes

on Apr. 26 2012 at 7:48 am
ohmakemeover BRONZE, Centerville, Minnesota
3 articles 0 photos 98 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Touch comes before sight, before speech. It is the first language and the last, and it always tells the truth."- Margaret Atwood

Thank you for the feedback, I appreciate it!  I'm glad you liked my article.

on Apr. 26 2012 at 6:49 am
livingparadox GOLD, Dhaka, Other
10 articles 0 photos 7 comments

This piece is so beautiful! I loved how you pictured the whole story in front of the readers' eyes! Keep up :) xx 

 


on Apr. 14 2012 at 11:20 am
ohmakemeover BRONZE, Centerville, Minnesota
3 articles 0 photos 98 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Touch comes before sight, before speech. It is the first language and the last, and it always tells the truth."- Margaret Atwood

Thank you so much!  Glad you liked it!

Channi said...
on Apr. 14 2012 at 6:01 am
Channi, Blackpool, Other
0 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary-wise; what it is it wouldn't be, and what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?"

Wow this is great! Well done!❤

on Jul. 31 2011 at 2:15 pm
redhairCat PLATINUM, Pebble Beach, California
47 articles 20 photos 411 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I can do anything!"

Oh this is soooooooooo amazingly great! I love it! I tagged it as a favorite! Fabulous!

austenite GOLD said...
on Jul. 29 2011 at 10:44 am
austenite GOLD, River Falls, Wisconsin
13 articles 0 photos 177 comments

Favorite Quote:
...one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love....I love...I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on. -Mr. Darcy

Wow! This was fantastic - I'm sorry that it had to happen, but then you wouldn't be stronger for it!  You are a very strong person, and I admire you and your words! The thing I like best about this piece is your confidence in your writing!

on Jul. 26 2011 at 10:15 pm
ohmakemeover BRONZE, Centerville, Minnesota
3 articles 0 photos 98 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Touch comes before sight, before speech. It is the first language and the last, and it always tells the truth."- Margaret Atwood

Thank you!  I'm glad you enjoyed it!

leafy said...
on Jul. 26 2011 at 9:14 pm
leafy, City, Other
0 articles 0 photos 682 comments

Favorite Quote:
Gil: I would like you to read my novel and get your opinion. 
Ernest Hemingway: I hate it. 
Gil: You haven't even read it yet. 
Ernest Hemingway: If it's bad, I'll hate it. If it's good, then I'll be envious and hate it even more. You don't want the opinion of another writer. 

i like this piece, and im glad that you stood pu for yourself! keep up the nice work!

on Jul. 26 2011 at 6:28 pm
ohmakemeover BRONZE, Centerville, Minnesota
3 articles 0 photos 98 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Touch comes before sight, before speech. It is the first language and the last, and it always tells the truth."- Margaret Atwood

Wow, thanks so much!  I'm glad I'm helping not only myself but others when I stand up for what I believe in.

on Jul. 26 2011 at 6:26 pm
Alcanno DIAMOND, Mexia, Texas
59 articles 0 photos 670 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you love life, don't waste time, for time is what life is
made up of."

-- Bruce Lee

Wow! I'm so moved by your feminist power :) This piece is very inspiring and shows your how strong you are in your opinion. I respect and admire you so much for simply standing up for our gender. Keep up the good work and fantastic writing! :)

on Jul. 26 2011 at 6:24 pm
ohmakemeover BRONZE, Centerville, Minnesota
3 articles 0 photos 98 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Touch comes before sight, before speech. It is the first language and the last, and it always tells the truth."- Margaret Atwood

Thank you!  I like to think I'm a strong feminist, even though guys make me really mad sometimes.  Thanks for your support!

on Jul. 26 2011 at 1:59 pm
Hazel-daisy GOLD, --, Other
19 articles 0 photos 324 comments

Favorite Quote:
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else - Erna Bombeck

In three words i can sum up everything I've learned in life: it goes on -Robert Frost

Live, Love, Laugh - ______

Hope, Love, breathe <3 - Me

i think its good the way you are feminist (seems like your a strong one too!) and this piece is really well written, i think its good the way  you stand up for females, well i guess thanks! :)

on Jul. 24 2011 at 4:18 pm
ohmakemeover BRONZE, Centerville, Minnesota
3 articles 0 photos 98 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Touch comes before sight, before speech. It is the first language and the last, and it always tells the truth."- Margaret Atwood

Thank you for the feedback!  I'm glad other girls will always be there for me when guys say stuff like that.

iCamilla said...
on Jul. 24 2011 at 4:15 pm
Who has the nerve to say that to you? Seriously! But anyways...this was well written, and I think you deserve a pat on the back for it.

on Jun. 21 2011 at 2:28 pm
ohmakemeover BRONZE, Centerville, Minnesota
3 articles 0 photos 98 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Touch comes before sight, before speech. It is the first language and the last, and it always tells the truth."- Margaret Atwood

No, thank you, for such kind and inspiring feedback.  I'm glad others can share these types of experiences.  Thank you for reading!