Bat Eaters
Play Dictionary/Korean Translations:
Eomma: Mother
Oehalmeoni: Grandmother on mother’s side
Appa: Father
Maegju Kaen: Beer can

Lights on KYUNG MI taking inventory next to the receptionist’s desk at a humble family-owned spa. Her daughter MI YUNG is sweeping the floors near the massage bed and small side desk on the other side of the stage. When she’s done, MI YUNG puts the broom down off-stage and then re-enters.

MI YUNG: I’m done, Eomma. Now can I visit Oehalmeoni?

KYUNG MI: Wait until Appa gets here. You shouldn’t go alone. 

MI YUNG: But I’ll be fine.

KYUNG MI: It’s dangerous. Wait for Dad, okay?

MI YUNG: But what if they won’t let me in?

KYUNG MI: They let me in yesterday when it was busy. They’re looser now.

MI YUNG: Appa’s always late.

KYUNG MI: It’s still not a good idea.

MI YUNG: Please, Eomma! I’ll be safe. I really want to see her, and this is my only real cha–

KYUNG MI: I’m not telling you again.

MI YUNG: But Eomma–

KYUNG MI grabs her phone and smacks MI YUNG on the arm.

KYUNG MI: You will wait for your Appa. Understood?

MI YUNG nods. A moment of silence passes.

MI YUNG: My phone charger stopped working. Can I, um–

KYUNG MI: Those are expensive.

MI YUNG: I shifted the wires and everything. It’s broken.

KYUNG MI: Give it to me and I’ll see.

MI YUNG: Oh, Appa’s here.

KYUNG MI: Just be careful.

MI YUNG nods and puts her old charger on the desk. It is frayed, its wires exposed. MI YUNG grabs a blue face mask and exits. After MI YUNG leaves, KYUNG MI picks up MI YUNG’S charger and puts tape on it. She mumbles to herself. 

KYUNG MI: That girl.

KYUNG MI goes to the other side of the stage to plug in the charger. It still doesn’t work. KYUNG MI rolls her head back in frustration, then winces. 

KYUNG MI: What kind of asshole beats up an elderly woman in the f*cking street? 

KYUNG MI starts lighting the spa candles.

Seconds later, KEVIN enters, wearing his mask below his nose and an orange baseball cap.

KEVIN: Hello? You open?

KYUNG MI quickly puts on a mask.

KYUNG MI: Yes, how can I help you today? 

KEVIN: F*cking hate this neighborhood.

KYUNG MI: What can I do for you this morning?

KEVIN: I need a quick massage, like, fifteen minutes, probably. Thought I could make it to the bridge from The Heights, but I just pulled a muscle in my back and it’s been hurting like a b*tch.

KYUNG MI: I can help you with that. We’re cash only, just so you know.

KEVIN: All you Asians are cash only. Is that how it works in China?

KYUNG MI: Wouldn’t know, I’ve never been.

KEVIN: Are you Japanese?

KYUNG MI: Sure.

KEVIN: Your English is really good.

KYUNG MI: Thanks.

KEVIN: How long have you been in America?

KYUNG MI: Since I was sixteen.

KEVIN: Sixteen’s a good age. Do I have to wear this?

KYUNG MI: Whatever you prefer.

KEVIN immediately rips off his mask. KYUNG MI escorts KEVIN to a massage bed. He lays face-down. 

KEVIN: I hate wearing those things. 

KYUNG MI: Which side hurts?

KEVIN: My right. Just under my shoulder.

KYUNG MI: I’ll start right here. Is this good?

KEVIN: Right there. Thank God you can speak English. It’s like impossible to communicate with most Asians here.

KYUNG MI: English is a nice language.

KEVIN: Don’t get me wrong, Chinese is nice and all, but why don’t they just learn English?

KYUNG MI begins to get visibly annoyed. Her face clenches and her hands get ever-so-slightly more aggressive when massaging. 

KYUNG MI: I think access to education would be nice.

KEVIN: Oh! That feels great. (A beat.) I’m glad you get it. The mayor needs to do something about the bat eaters. I can’t believe the same broken-English chinks that brought the China Virus are still here.

KYUNG MI: Chinatown has had the lowest number of cases in the city this month. So you’re actually safest here.

KEVIN: I’m not talking about you, sweetie—you seem like a real sweetheart. But look, it’s easy to tell which ones f*ck up this country. They don’t know English. They don’t care about America. They carry the disease. Think about it. (Beat.) This place wasn’t a dump five years ago. 

KYUNG MI: COVID has affected everyone.

KEVIN: In general, Asians keep their heads down. It’s usually the blacks that are the problem. Japanese women are amazing. The young ones are especially nice, but once they get old… they got nothing to add to this country. They get all stubborn and mean. We need something to keep them in their place. You know what I mean?

KYUNG MI: Yeah.

KEVIN: I mean, it’s gotten a lot worse over the last… I dunno, ten years maybe. They just can’t stop. It’s like herpes. You think they’re gone, but they come right f*cking back. (Beat.) The other day, there was this old Chinese b*tch carrying this large bag of cans or something.

Lights dim on KYUNG MI and KEVIN. OLD ASIAN WOMAN enters and faces the audience. She’s lugging a large bag of cans. The cans are heavy. She’s shaking a bit and talks with a thick Korean accent.

KEVIN: It was early in the morning and I was having a beer. And this ch*nk comes out of nowhere and starts saying…

OLD ASIAN WOMAN: Drink. Can I have?

KEVIN: And I said “no,” obviously.

OLD ASIAN WOMAN: Just maegju kaen.

KEVIN: No, I’m drinking it. 

OLD ASIAN WOMAN: Maegju kaen.

KEVIN: Speak English. You’re in America.

OLD ASIAN WOMAN: English no good. 

KEVIN: So I got up and tried to walk away, but she followed me.

OLD ASIAN WOMAN starts gently walking in place. She is clearly minding her own business and looking in other directions.

KEVIN: She got way too close to me. Smelled like sh*t. I turned around to make her stop harassing me, but then…

OLD ASIAN WOMAN sneezes. The stage suddenly goes black. The sound of a hard slap followed by the cry of an elderly woman. Another sound of something hitting concrete with the sounds of a few stomps. OLD ASIAN WOMAN exits. Lights on KYUNG MI and KEVIN.

KEVIN: I didn’t end up with Kung Flu, don’t worry, but it sucks ’cause I pulled this muscle. Could that dried up b*tch not see where she was sneezing?

KYUNG MI’S phone starts to ring.

KYUNG MI: I’m sorry. It’s my daughter.

KEVIN: It’s okay. You can answer it. Just make it quick, honey.

KEVIN puts his hand on KYUNG MI’S arm. It lingers. KYUNG MI gently pulls away. Shaken, she crosses to the other side of the stage. MI YUNG enters, pacing back and forth. KYUNG MI answers the phone.

KYUNG MI: Mi Yung, is it important? I’m in the middle of a job.

MI YUNG: I’m just really worried about Oehalmeoni… I didn’t know how bad it was. She has an injured lung and a broken rib. Her brain has swelling from falling on concrete. How long has she been on the ventilator?

KYUNG MI: Since Tuesday morning. How is she? Have you seen her?

MI YUNG: We’re still waiting. Do you know, like, what happened?

KYUNG MI: Your Appa and I think it was while she was getting cans. Most likely a hate crime.

MI YUNG’s voice breaks.

MI YUNG: Who would attack someone and leave them like that? Eomma, that could’ve easily been me, beaten on the street and just left there. 

KYUNG MI: That’s why you have to be super careful.

MI YUNG: I want the person who did this to her to pay for what they did. Can we find them?

KYUNG MI: They’re walking free. Appa is trying to find security footage, but I don’t know.

KEVIN: (Snapping his fingers) Well, I don’t have all damn day.

KYUNG MI: I have to go back to this job, but I’ll call you after I finish, okay?

MI YUNG exits. KYUNG MI puts down her phone. She wipes away a tear.

KYUNG MI: Sorry about that. Just going to grab some more massage oil.

KYUNG MI goes to the register desk. She grabs massage oil and takes it back to the massage bed. The side table is too crowded to put the oil down.

KYUNG MI: Sir, do you mind if I move this?

KEVIN: Which thing? Don’t touch that! Just move my phone over. I always keep that closeby.

KYUNG MI: Oh, is this one of those key holders that holds everything? My daughter got me one. It’s a life saver. 

KEVIN: Actually, it’s a switchblade. With all those blacks shooting each other, I gotta stay safe. You never know when you need it.

KEVIN opens the switchblade, revealing the knife. While admiring it, KEVIN inadvertently points it at KYUNG MI. KYUNG MI is shocked and almost threatened.

KEVIN: But why would I need it at a place like this?

KEVIN closes the switchblade and puts it down.

KYUNG MI: Did you ever find out if that woman was okay?

KEVIN: Look, it was an act of self-defense. I, um, had something to do after, and, um, I ended up heading to that after.

KYUNG MI: So the woman was just laying here?

KEVIN: It was self-defense. She wouldn’t leave me alone. She threatened my safety. I don’t really give a sh*t if she’s okay.

KYUNG MI picks up KEVIN’S pocket knife, considering stabbing this man. Instead, she uses it to break the seal of the massage oil. Suddenly, a text notification. KYUNG MI puts the knife down.

KEVIN: Was that mine? Gimme a second. I should check my phone.

KYUNG MI starts to hand KEVIN his phone, but KEVIN snatches it from her. KYUNG MI’S phone starts ringing. She quickly walks away from the massage bed with her phone in hand. MI YUNG enters on the phone again.

MI YUNG: I’m sorry. I know you’re working, but did you get my text? Appa found footage outside Mr. Hwang’s market. There’s a white guy walking past his store at 5:07am. 

KEVIN tries to charge his phone using MI YUNG’S plug. He notices it doesn’t work. He starts peeling off the old piece of tape.

MI YUNG: It’s grainy, but he’s wearing an orange hat and holding something. I think it’s a can. We can’t see his face though. How much help do you think the footage will be? Can we track him down? Maybe he saw who did it!

KYUNG MI: I’ll look at it right now.

KYUNG MI watches a video on her phone that the audience does not see. She shoots KEVIN a look. She thinks the man in the video is KEVIN. KEVIN meticulously reapplies the tape to the charger.

KYUNG MI: Tell Appa to look for more stuff. It might be this guy.

MI YUNG: Mom, most hate crime-ers are, you know, (whispered) black. But I’ll ask Appa.

MI YUNG exits.

KEVIN: Your charger should work now.

KYUNG MI: What?

KEVIN: That charger by the desk? I fixed it.

KYUNG MI: You did?

KEVIN: Yeah, you just have to make sure this wire is touching this, so it’ll work. A lot of people waste money on new ones. No need to do that.

KYUNG MI: Oh… thank you.

KEVIN: Can you go back to the place you were before? That was nice.

KEVIN gets back on the massage bed. KYUNG MI starts massaging him. She picks up a little massage oil and uses it. 

KEVIN: I thought Asians were smart.

KYUNG MI laughs. She tries her best to make it sound as realistic as possible.

KEVIN: Asians are booksmart, but not street smart. Let me tell you right now. Asians cannot be in politics. They aren’t capable. They can only follow directions. They’re best at keeping their heads down and working for themselves. Remember that Asian that ran for Mayor? Didn’t win and no other Asian has ran since.

KYUNG MI: Robert Wong got a lot of votes, though. He raised a lot of awareness on housing regulations and–

KEVIN: Yeah, but he talked too much and pissed off too many people, so he lost.  Just like that old out-of-line Chinese wh*re. I mean, the stereotype exists for a reason. Asian men are best off doing math. The Asian women are best for sex. They stay young for a long time. Maybe that woman has a granddaughter. She could make the family’s living. Maybe I could book a session with her and break her in.

KYUNG MI picks up the knife again. Her phone rings once more. KYUNG MI puts the phone between her shoulder and ear, still holding the knife in one hand and massaging with the other. MI YUNG enters. 

MI YUNG: Eomma, I think this is it. You have to come now.

KYUNG MI: What’s going on?

MI YUNG: They think it’s best to take her off. They don’t think it’s worth it. I went in and I couldn’t recognize her. I asked her if she could hear me. I asked her if she knew it was me. I asked her if she knew I was here. No response. I asked her again. Nothing. I kept asking and asking. She’s not there, eomma. You have to come now. 

KYUNG MI: I’m working.

MI YUNG: Please, please come.

KYUNG MI: When I’m done.  

MI YUNG: I love you, mom.

KYUNG MI puts the knife down.

KYUNG MI: I love you, too.

KYUNG MI hangs up the phone. MI YUNG exits.

KYUNG MI: Alright, time’s up. Hope your back feels better.

KEVIN: That’s the best massage I’ve ever had.

KEVIN puts his belongings into his pockets. KEVIN takes out his wallet and pays KYUNG MI in cash.

KYUNG MI: There’s also a tip jar on the desk.

KEVIN: Thank you, love. 

KEVIN gets closer and grabs KYUNG MI’S breast. She freezes. KEVIN chuckles and then lets go. He turns around and exits without leaving anything in the tip jar.

Blackout.

End of play.