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Her Smile

April 16, 2011
By applesinheaven BRONZE, Richmond, Virginia
More by this author
applesinheaven BRONZE, Richmond, Virginia
2 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You don't need skill or technique to write. All you need is a heart brimming with imagination and the determination to finish what you start. If you have that, then start writing your book."

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I knew there was always something about her. From the way she dressed to the way she walked. I wanted to know her.

She was of average height and build. Her hair the common brown with loose curls falling gently to her fragile shoulders. The color of her skin was slightly golden, obviously from hours of natural tanning. A sea of freckles dotted the tender flesh on her cheeks and swam over the bridge of her nose. A deep brown shone bright from behind the transparent lens of her glasses. Her torso was short, legs long, and breasts small. She wore a simple pair of faded blue jeans, a tight blue t-shirt under a gray zip-up jacket, and a worn pair of plain white tennis shoes that were covered in a soft coat of dirt. She was no different from any other girl that walked the halls of the school.

That was what I thought until I caught a glimpse of her smile.

Her pale pink lips parted to show a strip of straight porcelain white teeth. The joy in this gesture carried through her entire being. Even her eyes seemed as if they were dancing with amusement. It was the most breath-taking scene I had ever witnessed in my sixteen years. At that very moment was when I acknowledged her as beautiful.

From that day forward, I wanted to be the reason she smiled.

The author's comments:
A simple short that came to mind. Please read and review.
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This article has 11 comments.

trblue GOLD said...
on May. 27 2011 at 9:51 am
trblue GOLD, Richmond, Virginia
14 articles 7 photos 141 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Too often we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown. It only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap that mother@#?!&* upside the head. "

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well, a man should fall in love personality of the women and not lust over her, but that the point. boys dont think thay fall for what they see and its easyer to do that then anything. yes that how it starts out simple and thats how every love story starts out and what makes your story diffrent then any other person on this site. you could do something diffrent then any other as a writer you should push your limites. does the feeling you muster in your words reach the full effect of me the reading. yes i like what you did and the possability of him looking at her and lusting over her is good,  but theirs more to the girl then her smile. I know she more then that like your are more then your smile im guessing.
applesinheaven BRONZE said...
on May. 20 2011 at 10:32 pm
applesinheaven BRONZE, Richmond, Virginia
2 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You don't need skill or technique to write. All you need is a heart brimming with imagination and the determination to finish what you start. If you have that, then start writing your book."

View profile
well yes, but that was obvious lust, this is simple attraction to a soft smile and happiness. what a man should really love about a woman and not her looks. 
trblue GOLD said...
on May. 18 2011 at 2:08 pm
trblue GOLD, Richmond, Virginia
14 articles 7 photos 141 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Too often we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown. It only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap that mother@#?!&* upside the head. "

View profile
i know u didnt say anything about her hips it was an example ok. yes i have been told before that  i read a lot in to things when its really simple. your storie may be under the romance section but to me our genaration dont know the diffrance between love and lust. it was lust in the last twilight book come on thay broke the bed im unsure but i know Rosalie and Emmett did.
applesinheaven BRONZE said...
on May. 14 2011 at 12:35 pm
applesinheaven BRONZE, Richmond, Virginia
2 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You don't need skill or technique to write. All you need is a heart brimming with imagination and the determination to finish what you start. If you have that, then start writing your book."

View profile
i think you may be reading too far into it. I didn't say anything about her hips.  lust comes from talking about sensual parts or actions, which i have not included. 
trblue GOLD said...
on May. 11 2011 at 9:16 am
trblue GOLD, Richmond, Virginia
14 articles 7 photos 141 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Too often we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown. It only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap that mother@#?!&* upside the head. "

View profile
well  u are right for one thing i am deman more from u and the way you talk from the boy point of view it seems lustful. the way he talks about her smile and the sway of her hips as she walk stuff like that.
michaelbenardjr said...
on May. 7 2011 at 1:55 pm
Its Her father
applesinheaven BRONZE said...
on May. 4 2011 at 12:32 pm
applesinheaven BRONZE, Richmond, Virginia
2 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You don't need skill or technique to write. All you need is a heart brimming with imagination and the determination to finish what you start. If you have that, then start writing your book."

View profile

i don't quite understand where the lust is in here...so could you point it out. That's the point. Everything can be longer, but the point is to stop it so the audiance will want more. You can't give them everything. Make them deman more. and there WILL be a sequel 

 

trblue GOLD said...
on May. 3 2011 at 10:08 am
trblue GOLD, Richmond, Virginia
14 articles 7 photos 141 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Too often we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown. It only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap that mother@#?!&* upside the head. "

View profile

or is it your dad?

tell me NOW I NEED TO KNOW!!

trblue GOLD said...
on May. 3 2011 at 10:06 am
trblue GOLD, Richmond, Virginia
14 articles 7 photos 141 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Too often we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown. It only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap that mother@#?!&* upside the head. "

View profile
i think it was very nice but the boy was to lustfull. i know what boy is not lustfull it could have been longer. it was sweet like i seen  u for the first time love.  
trblue GOLD said...
on May. 3 2011 at 10:02 am
trblue GOLD, Richmond, Virginia
14 articles 7 photos 141 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Too often we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown. It only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap that mother@#?!&* upside the head. "

View profile
omg. is that your bro?
michaelbenardjr said...
on May. 1 2011 at 12:36 pm
you never stop amazing me