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No One Asks Why
I hate looking at my reflection
The pain is unbearable
I'm trying to escape it so
I pull my sleeves down
Turn my frown upside down
I hide the way I'm feeling
'Cause I know looks are deceiving
No one asks why
Why I'm so shy
Well maybe it's because the ones I love left me behind
No one asks why
Why I wanna die
Well maybe it's because the past is still fresh in my mind
I hate the scars that mark my body
I know that they'll always remind me
Of all the things I've done
Of all the times I've failed
But the battle isn't over
And my body is so frail
I hate the fact that I am so socially disabled
I know that people are just people
But still, I am not able
To have a normal conversation
This is no exaggeration
Sometimes I wish someone would ask me why
But I know that if they did I would shrivel up and hide
No one asks why
Why I refuse to cry
Well maybe it's because the weakness I am trying to hide
No one asks why
Why I no longer try
Well maybe it's because the life I have; it isn't mine
I hate my brown eyes
I know it's rather weird
But they're something I despise
They're dark as coal
Cold as my soul
When you look inside them you see nothing but a big, gaping hole
I hate this crippling anxiety
No matter what my people tell me
I will always think that they hate me
I have this constant fear
That everyone I hold dear
Will leave me all alone again
As though they were never here
Sometimes I wish someone would ask me why
But I prefer being alone, because people lie
No one asks why
Why I'm always the bad guy
Well maybe it's because I've been blamed my whole life
No one asks why
Why I waste my 'precious' time
Well maybe it's because my time ain't precious; that's a lie
And I'd say I'm trying to change
Truth is I feel like I'm already too late
I can't turn back time
With a simple classic rhyme
And I'd say that I'm trying my best
But I get exhausted so easily; I'm a mess
No one else can save me
And if I give up, I'll be history
No one asks why
Why my efforts are no longer sky-high
Well maybe it's because the truth scares me; I can't lie
No one asks why
Why I'm trying to get high
Well maybe it's because the pain makes me wanna die
No one asks why
Why I no longer strive
For the things I used to live for
For the things that made me shine
No one asks why
Why I'm not alive
Well my heart may be beating
But I don't know how to survive
But no one asks why
Because another person's pain just be put on stand-by
But they will all learn soon enough
That we all deserve someone
For we are enough
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What inspired me to write this was my own battle with depression and anxiety; how I managed to care so much but care so little. Depression and anxiety are horrible illnesses, but having them both is like a nightmare.