In disguise | Teen Ink

In disguise

May 2, 2015
By Izzy777 SILVER, Tampa, Florida
Izzy777 SILVER, Tampa, Florida
9 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I always wonder why birds stay in one place when they can fly anywhere around the world. But then I ask myself the same question."


He was an artist,

and my body was his canvas.

Blinded by his love,

I was his masterpiece.

 

First, he came off sweet,

he swayed his brush of watercolor,

painting the colors of happiness.

I was a walking figure of his talent,

and I was okay with that.

Becuase he made me feel beautiful.

 

He painted carefully,

making sure of every detail.

He made sure no paint dripped or had a leak,

and that my beauty was at it's peak.

He took care of me,

like any artist would of their art.

 

But then he started to run out of space on his canvas,

so the force he put upon the brush became harder,

painting over the watercolor with colors darker,

it started to hurt.

 

As if what I was wasn't enough.

 

watercolor paint is light, sort of see through,

it makes the illusion of gentless.

But he started to paint with opaque,

solid, bold colors,

like black and blue.

Something you can't hide,

my body was getting tender.

 

I didn't feel pretty anymore.

 

He use to paint butterflies on my tummy,

but now I see spiders.

He use to paint clouds on my feet,

to show that he swept me away.

But now i'm chained to the floor,

my body is too far from the door.

 

I was a walking figure of his talent,

and now I walk my head is shame.

I'm stuck and don't know how to get away,

but it's okay,

i know he loves me, right?

 

I gave him my all,

and I guess that was my mistake.

I don't know how much beatings I can take,

till I break from all this body ache.

 

"I didn't mean to hurt you," he said,

"I will change, I swear" he begged,

And I believed it,

becuase I was in love and thought he'd quit.

 

A slap of black,

and a dash of blue.

This canvas was turning ugly,

I couldn't leave, I was stuck like glue.

 

And it didn't take long till he painted red,

where nights I was helpless on my bed.

Blood is what I shed,

I just wanted to feel pretty again.

 

But with every stroke of his brush was another punch,

leaving me with another mixture of black and blue.

He made me feel beautiful,

but now I don't know what to do.

He was an abuser in disguise of an artist,

what can I say?

I was in love and thought it was okay.


The author's comments:

In some relationships,we get blind when we're in love. So much so that even when they get comfy, they'll turn you into a picture you don't want.


Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 13 comments.


on May. 4 2016 at 9:07 am
Nated315 DIAMOND, Georgetown, New York
92 articles 7 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
Truth has many shades. It's not a matter of black and white, but many grays.

wow! you nailed it! it is story-like but definitely not a prose piece. you PAINTED the poem onto me. I feel the emotions and power. you know, people try to change others to meet their standards and can get hurt or hurt others along the way! good job!!!!

Izzy777 SILVER said...
on Jul. 1 2015 at 4:17 pm
Izzy777 SILVER, Tampa, Florida
9 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I always wonder why birds stay in one place when they can fly anywhere around the world. But then I ask myself the same question."

Wow, thank you! most helpful advice I've ever gotten! Thank you so much, this is going into a book and I appreciate your focus onto my piece. I will definitely fix it! thanks once again (:

on Jul. 1 2015 at 9:56 am
Consalvator BRONZE, South Jordan, Utah
1 article 0 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Very pretty imagery and overall idea. Major suggestions are 1. Watch your rhyming. I couldn't figure out the rhyming pattern, and some of your rhymes felt very forced and uncomfortable with the rest of the poem. 2. Two lines I would change that didn't make sense are "...walk my head in shame" and "he made sure no paint dripped or had a leak". I would suggest "and now I walk with my head down in shame." and "He made sure no paint dripped or made me look weak." Great analogy of humans and paintings. That's one of my favorite comparisons of all time. :) Nice work!

on Jun. 29 2015 at 11:08 pm
Katyaini SILVER, Greater Noida, Other
9 articles 0 photos 85 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is like a chocolate covered chilly....

Some succeed because they're destined to;
Most succeed because they're determined too

Loved it.......... you surely haven't cut anything in this piece???? If you haven't, please don't do it now. Without even a single sentence, this poem will look incomplete. Sometimes, our heart itself becomes the biggest nemesis of our life.... and those times are anything but pretty.

JRaye PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 29 2015 at 10:53 pm
JRaye PLATINUM, Dorr, Michigan
43 articles 10 photos 523 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you build your house far enough away from Trouble, then Trouble will never find you."

"Have you ever looked fear in the face and said, 'I just don't care.'?"

Besides a few spelling errors, this poem blew me away. I do agree you could cut a bit out, but the idea is so unique and beautiful, I've never thought of abusive relationships this way! Really beautiful, there were moments that really left me awestuck - amazing, you definitely have talent.

Hanban12 ELITE said...
on Jun. 29 2015 at 5:24 pm
Hanban12 ELITE, Lake Worth, Florida
133 articles 7 photos 631 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them."
Henry David Thoreau

"I fell in love the way you fall asleep; slowly, and then all at once."
John Green

Well, I'd say start practicing like this: write a poem describing a boring object. Say, like a lamp. Challenge yourself by not allowing yourself to write in any "tell" phrases; that is, write only words that vividly describe the lamp, such as "a sunshine colored shade" with "a shining, polished base," etc. After you do this with a few things, you slowly build on your writing skills, and you also start to see things most people take for granted in a whole new perspective. It's just a suggestion, but it works, so give it a try! :)

on Jun. 26 2015 at 3:42 pm
addictwithapen PLATINUM, Norfolk, Virginia
21 articles 14 photos 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm at it again as an addict with a pen." - twenty one pilots, addict with a pen

Wow, this is great! I love how you use the paint as a metaphor for how other people can shape us. The only thing I can think of to change is (this is just my opinion) the poem seems to go on for a bit too long. I would recommend going back over it and seeing if there are any lines or stanzas that you could do without. This might be just me, because I tend to prefer poetry that is quick and to-the-point. Keep up the great work. :)

Izzy777 SILVER said...
on Jun. 26 2015 at 2:06 pm
Izzy777 SILVER, Tampa, Florida
9 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I always wonder why birds stay in one place when they can fly anywhere around the world. But then I ask myself the same question."

Well I ALWAYS take another person's opinion into consideration, thank you for reading it!! makes me really happy. Do you have any idea's in mind for imagery? Or ideas for a next piece? TOPICS are always welcomed

Adia16 GOLD said...
on Jun. 26 2015 at 12:34 pm
Adia16 GOLD, Nampa, Idaho
16 articles 7 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Sing like no one's listening, Dance like no ones watching, Love like you've never been hurt."-Unknown

Nice Job! 7

on Jun. 24 2015 at 6:28 pm
ThePoeticJustice PLATINUM, Houston, Texas
29 articles 0 photos 207 comments

Favorite Quote:
Hold fast and keep your head up high for life will pass right by you like a speeding bird if you don't acknowledge it- Charles Moorer III (me)

wow.......... just wow. All I can honestly say is change "Gentless" to Gentlness XD

Hanban12 ELITE said...
on Jun. 24 2015 at 4:02 pm
Hanban12 ELITE, Lake Worth, Florida
133 articles 7 photos 631 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them."
Henry David Thoreau

"I fell in love the way you fall asleep; slowly, and then all at once."
John Green

This is a really great piece; it displays something that happens all the time in a metaphorical, relatable way. I like the idea of telling a story through poetry, and you did just that, so awesome job! As just a minor critique to help though, your details and imagery were amazing, and I wish there was more of it. Maybe, by revising it, you can add more, replacing "telling" statements with more imagery. It's just personal opinion though, so don't worry on it, I love this poem through and through. Keep it up! :)

on Jun. 23 2015 at 6:38 pm
Anna141 PLATINUM, Yarmouth, Maine
23 articles 0 photos 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain."

Auth

Wow, this is a very powerful piece! It's a hard subject but your metaphor conveyed it beautifully, keep writing!

on Jun. 23 2015 at 2:34 pm
Blackjack. GOLD, Suffolk, Virginia
13 articles 0 photos 94 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Take a lesson from "the Greatest Man That Ever Lived," Austin Aries. The ambition and vision of one depends on how bad@ss they look in sunglasses." - Me, 2017

"Who is this Jose, and why is he always being denied?" - Corey Graves, 2016

Blindness of Love. It can REALLY kill you. Interesting piece