the day after I killed myself
my mom surprised us with
a trip to the caribbean,
happiness glowing in her eyes
as my sister and I
squealed in excitement
the day after I killed myself
my friends and I met
at the beach to enjoy the
sunny day as
our laughter made the day
shine even brighter
the day after I killed myself
my girlfriend came over
and cuddled with me
as we laid under warm blankets
watching movies
and basking in each other’s comfort
the day after I killed myself
my cat and I went
on a walk outside
as she tugged on her pink harness,
dragging me along
while the soothing wind swept through my hair
the day after I killed myself
my dad made pancakes for
breakfast,
knowing that they were my favorite
as he waited for me to come upstairs
so he could see the appreciation in my eyes
the day after I killed myself
my parents sat in a hospital room
knowing I wouldn’t wake up
as my cat laid on my
cold bedsheets
wondering when I would be home
the day after I killed myself
my friends cried for hours
and my girlfriend bawled into
an old sweatshirt of mine
trying to preserve my smell
while everyone blamed themselves
for not doing anything
the day after I killed myself
was the day that I realized
I didn’t want
to be dead.