Every day is a shifting fog.
with an added gloomy drizzle just for good measure.
The kind of fog where you can’t tell if it’s day or night,
so time itself stands still.
I can only see about five feet in any given direction.
And I couldn’t feel any rain,
but somehow my hair is damp.
My shoes are oozing grey water with each uncertain step.
The fog is overwhelming and all consuming.
I know where I am, but I don’t.
I know this road.
but I don’t.
There is a lake I know is there but I can’t see.
And buildings that have turned invisible.
And suddenly I can’t remember anything.
Where I came from
How I got here
How long I’ve been here.
Looking down cracks in the road
that I never noticed before
And as I spin in a circle
I can see only the thick, milky fog.
I look up and the sky is black.
I look down and the road is black.
I’m lost and confused.
So I sit in my ten by ten circle of sight.
and my mind quiets.
Running hands I don’t recognize over cracks,
wishing I could pry them open and crawl in.
I breathed in an atmosphere of sorrow
and exhaled dreams and passion
that would disappear in the fog.
And I felt myself melting into the blackness
like the negative of a person I’d never met.
Time doesn’t pass.
But I’ve been here for what must be years.
Until.
Until a disturbance in the fog.
I see a shift in the misty haze.
color thats not grey or white or black.
A hand, much bigger than mine,
attached to an arm
attached to a person,
attached to a soul.
Like mine but much more sane.
I thought I was invisible.
but he saw me.
He saw something I couldn’t.
He reached out his hand,
but I was too scared to take it.
I pushed it away.
but he reached out again,
and when I moved to swat his hand away,
he grabbed it and pulled me to my feet.
His eyes met mine.
and I know he can see the secrets I’ve been hiding.
So I prepare for his hand to drop,
but it doesn’t.
He says okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
And he turns back towards the fog
but never drops my gaze or my shaking hand.
And while I don’t know what we’re walking into,
and neither does he.
I trust him not to leave me lost.
We move slowly,
one step at a time into the fog.
I’m terrified, but finally free.
of this prison I didn’t have the courage to venture out of
on my own.
But he said okay.
and in this moment,
Okay is all I need.