Frostbite | Teen Ink

Frostbite

October 20, 2014
By Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1159 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;If you&#039;re losing your soul and you know it, then you&#039;ve still got a soul left to lose&rdquo; <br /> ― Charles Bukowski


Lately, the chilled autumn air seeping in from the window
has kept me up at night—pouring loneliness
into my empty chest

 

(generous portions for every gasp)
and I exhale nostalgia.

 

God, I've become so acutely aware of the chasm between me

 

and them

 

and of how my fingers skim the collarbones of everyone
that I push away: "Stay there," I say. Arms length. Perfect.

 

Teasing myself with superficiality
and nothing more.

 

It's just that—oh, I can see it clearly:

 

How easy it would be to leap into their arms;
To look someone straight in the eye without flinching:
No apologies for existing.

 

I walk so lightly,
breathe so shallowly.

 

Talk so quietly—

 

Do you even know I'm here?
Or have you already had the funeral...

 

The fire inside me has dulled to an ember,
and I don't want to become coals.

 

Yet I can't help but scatter at the slightest intimacy:
ashes in the wind,
cremated before my time.

 

See, these arms ache with solitude, and I might die.
Tell them it's frostbite.

 

It's so cold tonight.

 

Jesus Christ, it's just that—
I can't remember how it feels to be truly

 

seen.



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This article has 30 comments.


on Nov. 25 2014 at 3:26 pm
rockyyyyyyyyy SILVER, Lawrenceville, Georgia
9 articles 0 photos 61 comments

Favorite Quote:
dont let people drive u crazy if you know its in walking distance

yoyoyo, its been years man!

on Nov. 25 2014 at 1:46 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1159 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;If you&#039;re losing your soul and you know it, then you&#039;ve still got a soul left to lose&rdquo; <br /> ― Charles Bukowski

ROCKY! What's up fool

on Nov. 23 2014 at 2:15 pm
rockyyyyyyyyy SILVER, Lawrenceville, Georgia
9 articles 0 photos 61 comments

Favorite Quote:
dont let people drive u crazy if you know its in walking distance

Well hey there

on Nov. 7 2014 at 10:50 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1159 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;If you&#039;re losing your soul and you know it, then you&#039;ve still got a soul left to lose&rdquo; <br /> ― Charles Bukowski

gracias amigo :p

on Nov. 7 2014 at 9:23 pm
TheNamesBond....JamesBond BRONZE, Galloway, New Jersey
1 article 4 photos 12 comments
great poem! ;p  

on Oct. 28 2014 at 10:42 am
TargonTheDragon GOLD, Ofallon, Missouri
15 articles 16 photos 292 comments

Favorite Quote:
First dentistry was painless.<br /> Then bicycles were chainless,<br /> Carriages were horseless,<br /> And many laws enforceless.<br /> <br /> Next cookery was fireless,<br /> Telegraphy was wireless,<br /> Cigars were nicotineless,<br /> And coffee caffeineless.<br /> <br /> Soon oranges were seedless,<br /> The putting green was weedless,<br /> The college boy was hatless,<br /> The proper diet fatless.<br /> <br /> New motor roads are dustless,<br /> The latest steel is rustless,<br /> Our tennis courts are sodless,<br /> Our new religion &mdash; godless.

Well, I suppose that's why I related so well. Similar minds think alike.

on Oct. 27 2014 at 11:08 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1159 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;If you&#039;re losing your soul and you know it, then you&#039;ve still got a soul left to lose&rdquo; <br /> ― Charles Bukowski

Yeah, it's basically about loneliness and yep - cuddle-needing. It's for anybody who (like me) can't seem to really connect to anyone or make meaningful relationships, even though you want to. Kind of sad but oh well :P

on Oct. 27 2014 at 10:49 pm
TargonTheDragon GOLD, Ofallon, Missouri
15 articles 16 photos 292 comments

Favorite Quote:
First dentistry was painless.<br /> Then bicycles were chainless,<br /> Carriages were horseless,<br /> And many laws enforceless.<br /> <br /> Next cookery was fireless,<br /> Telegraphy was wireless,<br /> Cigars were nicotineless,<br /> And coffee caffeineless.<br /> <br /> Soon oranges were seedless,<br /> The putting green was weedless,<br /> The college boy was hatless,<br /> The proper diet fatless.<br /> <br /> New motor roads are dustless,<br /> The latest steel is rustless,<br /> Our tennis courts are sodless,<br /> Our new religion &mdash; godless.

okay. im done. i CANNOT seem to get it to put the lines in italics. and i cant space it right-_____-

on Oct. 27 2014 at 10:48 pm
TargonTheDragon GOLD, Ofallon, Missouri
15 articles 16 photos 292 comments

Favorite Quote:
First dentistry was painless.<br /> Then bicycles were chainless,<br /> Carriages were horseless,<br /> And many laws enforceless.<br /> <br /> Next cookery was fireless,<br /> Telegraphy was wireless,<br /> Cigars were nicotineless,<br /> And coffee caffeineless.<br /> <br /> Soon oranges were seedless,<br /> The putting green was weedless,<br /> The college boy was hatless,<br /> The proper diet fatless.<br /> <br /> New motor roads are dustless,<br /> The latest steel is rustless,<br /> Our tennis courts are sodless,<br /> Our new religion &mdash; godless.

"Lately, the chilled autumn air seeping in from the window
has kept me up at night—pouring loneliness
into my empty chest"
This line hit me like a stake to the heart. Mostly because it's at night that I am most prone to feel lonely.     "and of how my fingers skim the collarbones of everyone
that I push away: "Stay there," I say. Arms length. Perfect.  
Yet I can't help but scatter at the slightest intimacy:
ashes in the wind,
cremated before my time."  
Jonathan safran foer said this," I am so afraid of losing something I love, that I refuse to love anything." That line reminded me of that quote.  
"See, these arms ache with solitude, and I might die.
Tell them it's frostbite."  
Is this the longing for a cuddle? Cause I get this way REALLY often, and I'm pretty sure it is slowly killing me.

on Oct. 27 2014 at 10:47 pm
TargonTheDragon GOLD, Ofallon, Missouri
15 articles 16 photos 292 comments

Favorite Quote:
First dentistry was painless.<br /> Then bicycles were chainless,<br /> Carriages were horseless,<br /> And many laws enforceless.<br /> <br /> Next cookery was fireless,<br /> Telegraphy was wireless,<br /> Cigars were nicotineless,<br /> And coffee caffeineless.<br /> <br /> Soon oranges were seedless,<br /> The putting green was weedless,<br /> The college boy was hatless,<br /> The proper diet fatless.<br /> <br /> New motor roads are dustless,<br /> The latest steel is rustless,<br /> Our tennis courts are sodless,<br /> Our new religion &mdash; godless.

"Lately, the chilled autumn air seeping in from the window
has kept me up at night—pouring loneliness
into my empty chest"

This line hit me like a stake to the heart. Mostly because it's at night that I am most prone to feel lonely. "and of how my fingers skim the collarbones of everyone
that I push away: "Stay there," I say. Arms length. Perfect.
Yet I can't help but scatter at the slightest intimacy:
ashes in the wind,
cremated before my time."
Jonathan safran foer said this," I am so afraid of losing something I love, that I refuse to love anything." That line reminded me of that quote.
"See, these arms ache with solitude, and I might die.
Tell them it's frostbite."
Is this the longing for a cuddle? Cause I get this way REALLY often, and I'm pretty sure it is slowly killing me.