He Didn't Make It. | Teen Ink

He Didn't Make It.

July 25, 2013
By WriteOrWrong BRONZE, Grosse Pointe, Michigan
WriteOrWrong BRONZE, Grosse Pointe, Michigan
3 articles 0 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
Sometimes you just need to take a nap and get over it. -Maura Stuard


There's nothing you can say,
nothing you can do,
when the leaves fall down.

Summer left as fast as she came
and not a word was said.
The air just echoed your name,
and the silence reigned.

Say it ain't so,
say you're not gone.
Tell me, sweet love,
you're still in my arms.

I wait for our eyes to meet.
Disappear as you will,
but return when the sun sleeps.
Save me from these haunting hours.

Not a word was said.
The air just echoed your name,
and the silence reigned.



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This article has 15 comments.


on Aug. 5 2013 at 3:55 pm
WriteOrWrong BRONZE, Grosse Pointe, Michigan
3 articles 0 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
Sometimes you just need to take a nap and get over it. -Maura Stuard

Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it!

on Aug. 5 2013 at 11:27 am
ImAKeeper SILVER, Missouri City, Texas
6 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul."- William Ernest Henley

Wow! This was really good! I feel like everyone connected to your poem in their own way. There was a definite mysterious element to the writing but that kept it interesting. The poem also flowed really well too! Great work! I loved it! (:

on Aug. 3 2013 at 10:56 am
WriteOrWrong BRONZE, Grosse Pointe, Michigan
3 articles 0 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
Sometimes you just need to take a nap and get over it. -Maura Stuard

Oh yeah, no problem, I just wanted to let you know that I had commented.

on Aug. 1 2013 at 6:48 pm
WriteOrWrong BRONZE, Grosse Pointe, Michigan
3 articles 0 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
Sometimes you just need to take a nap and get over it. -Maura Stuard

Thank you so much, that means a lot to me.

Mckay ELITE said...
on Aug. 1 2013 at 5:37 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.&quot;<br /> &mdash;Apple&rsquo;s &ldquo;Think Different&rdquo; commercial, 1997<br /> &ldquo;Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn&#039;t understood.&rdquo; <br /> ― Weihui Zhou

Yes, I'm sorry I haven't replied back yet. I'm so caught up right now with having to comment on like a million people right now. But thank you in advance. 

on Aug. 1 2013 at 4:36 pm
MissExploration BRONZE, Vancouver, Washington
1 article 0 photos 112 comments

Favorite Quote:
It Can Only Fly When It Needs To.

This is one of my favorite poems I have read so far! I don't really know what the narrator is talking about, but that is what I like about this poem. I can assume and think through what the person is saying. Each person who reads this should have a different view on what it means. Amazing job!

on Jul. 31 2013 at 7:23 pm
WriteOrWrong BRONZE, Grosse Pointe, Michigan
3 articles 0 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
Sometimes you just need to take a nap and get over it. -Maura Stuard

Wow, that is such a compliment. Thank you so much! I'm glad it came across that way.

on Jul. 31 2013 at 4:26 pm
LoonyLoopyLupin GOLD, Raynham, Massachusetts
13 articles 0 photos 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I am proud of who I am. I believe in what I do.&quot; -Pavel Chekov (Star Trek The Original Series, episode: &quot;The Way To Eden&quot;)

This poem makes me think. It's not clear to the outside reader what exactly you're talking about. That is by no means a bad thing. This is poetry, and the reader doesn't have to know everything, and the fact that you still got such a powerful feeling across while keeping the reader a little bit in the dark is beautiful. It gives this piece a delicate, mysterious mood. You managed to tell your story in a way that just about every reader can relate to in their own unique way. That's a powerful talent you've got there. :)

on Jul. 31 2013 at 3:58 pm
WriteOrWrong BRONZE, Grosse Pointe, Michigan
3 articles 0 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
Sometimes you just need to take a nap and get over it. -Maura Stuard

Just to let you know I commented on 'the Worlds Not Ready Yet,' and 'I Don't Believe in Counting Stars.'

on Jul. 31 2013 at 3:41 pm
WriteOrWrong BRONZE, Grosse Pointe, Michigan
3 articles 0 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
Sometimes you just need to take a nap and get over it. -Maura Stuard

Thanks a lot! I really appreciate it. Let me know if you would like any more feedback, I'd be more than happy to.

on Jul. 31 2013 at 11:12 am
writefearless SILVER, Manila, Other
8 articles 0 photos 48 comments

Favorite Quote:
scare your fear before it scares you.

this is awesome! i love the paradox in  line, "Summer left as fast as she came"  it's so clever!  and also the repetition of the stanza, it added a more powerful effect. very good! :)

on Jul. 30 2013 at 5:02 pm
WriteOrWrong BRONZE, Grosse Pointe, Michigan
3 articles 0 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
Sometimes you just need to take a nap and get over it. -Maura Stuard

Aww shucks, thank you! I am really happy you enjoyed it. You are too sweet!

on Jul. 30 2013 at 3:07 pm
Superhero_Fan SILVER, Tomorrowland, California
7 articles 1 photo 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Impossible; for How many people did you know who refracted your own light to you?&rdquo; - Fahrenheit 451

Wow. That was amazing! You had a steady rhythm, an even flow, and a touch af mystery. I loved how you incorporated the sun in the fourth stanza. Thank you for writing this!

Mckay ELITE said...
on Jul. 29 2013 at 6:45 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.&quot;<br /> &mdash;Apple&rsquo;s &ldquo;Think Different&rdquo; commercial, 1997<br /> &ldquo;Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn&#039;t understood.&rdquo; <br /> ― Weihui Zhou

Again, I have no critiques. Just to keep writing. Interesting title. And beautiful imagery. 

on Jul. 26 2013 at 8:32 am
SwanSong SILVER, Millville, New Jersey
9 articles 0 photos 54 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away.&quot;

I have no critiques to offer you for this poem. The rhythm is flawless and your imagry in beautiful. The first stanza is strong and it sets up a nice beginning for the rest of the poem. Oh! I did notice, like your last poem, that you switch between referring to "her" in second person and third person. Personally, I like this more when it's in second person. Fantastic work!