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Eye Contact MAG

July 1, 2009
By Jami Harmon BRONZE, Gilford, New Hampshire
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Jami Harmon BRONZE, Gilford, New Hampshire
1 article 0 photos 0 comments
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eyes meet, impulse to stare

the intent gaze intensifies
the chaotic world continues
but all of its frivolities
disappear in the fog

for a five-second span
time and place forgotten
a name, a purpose, a thought
lost in the stupor

lids stay strained
will not dare to blink
every flake of worry
vanishes in the misty haze

heads turn, moment gone.

© Casey C., Zionsville, IN

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 51 comments.

LBE23 PLATINUM said...
on Oct. 22 2013 at 9:10 am
LBE23 PLATINUM, Oxford, Michigan
33 articles 0 photos 14 comments
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This is so beautiful! I absolutely love it!  These are the words I could never write about a moment that passes too soon. Great job! 
TaylorWintry DIAMOND said...
on Nov. 8 2012 at 6:10 pm
TaylorWintry DIAMOND, Carrollton, Texas
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Favorite Quote:
&quot;Never fear shadows. They simply mean there&#039;s a light shining somewhere nearby.&quot; - Unknown

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wow, great job. I love your use of vocabulary, and you describe eye contact without actually saying so. great job
daddypa said...
on Oct. 17 2012 at 12:23 pm
daddypa, Kansas City,MO 64108, Kansas
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This poem is something i could relate too its very well written and i like how you wrote it free verse. Also i like how you made it into a 1st person perspective
reman5 PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 7 2012 at 9:23 am
reman5 PLATINUM, Ganei Tikwa, Other
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WOW! I'm paralyzed by the words... Great poem!!! keep writing
writer3499 GOLD said...
on Mar. 11 2012 at 6:56 pm
writer3499 GOLD, New Bedford, Massachusetts
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This is so amazing! I could really picute myself being there. You did a great job descibing the moment! I Love it!!
InvisibleHeart GOLD said...
on Jan. 5 2012 at 3:16 pm
InvisibleHeart GOLD, Barony, Other
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This was a nice poem. I had to read it a couple of times to understand. You do have talent but I think you can make a much stronger poem. Please keep writing!
InvisibleHeart GOLD said...
on Jan. 5 2012 at 3:12 pm
InvisibleHeart GOLD, Barony, Other
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They have a point though....
Morning SILVER said...
on Dec. 14 2011 at 7:29 pm
Morning SILVER, Greensboro, North Carolina
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This was a really nice poem. I love the last line. It is a beatiful use of enjambment. Good Job!
byebye said...
on Nov. 27 2011 at 9:30 pm
byebye, Nevermore, Other
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I love it! So succinct and strong. I know you have real talent, you need to let it all free!

Also, I'd LOVE some feedback on my work, I really want to know what others think, especially another aspiring poet :)

byebye said...
on Nov. 22 2011 at 10:43 am
byebye, Nevermore, Other
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Dreamer_of_Dreams, there is a fine line between constructive criticism and being flat out rude, and you have definitely crossed it. You don't have to like it, but you don't have to express your malicious hate for it in such a snotty way either.

And I don't know why you had to write that you had "standards" on your account. You should be flattered when people ask you to review their work, it means they admire your writing. Maybe I would too if you weren't passing out put downs like this. :(

byebye said...
on Nov. 22 2011 at 10:38 am
byebye, Nevermore, Other
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I thought it made perfect sense. Might want to try to be a little more constructive and not so critical....
JoshMac PLATINUM said...
on Oct. 31 2011 at 10:27 pm
JoshMac PLATINUM, Rifle, Colorado
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I loved that last line. It was perfect. Well done. Take a look at my own stuff, please. I'd love to have a fellow poet read it.
Its.beautiful. BRONZE said...
on Oct. 31 2011 at 6:47 am
Its.beautiful. BRONZE, Goose Creek, South Carolina
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might want to tryy to make a little bit of sense..really..
ThePeaceDaisy BRONZE said...
on Sep. 17 2011 at 8:28 pm
ThePeaceDaisy BRONZE, Albany, New York
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Ok, wow. Dreamer_of_Dreams, that was rude. Maybe she's just started writing. So. SHUT YOUR FACE and be NICE.
ThePeaceDaisy BRONZE said...
on Sep. 17 2011 at 8:26 pm
ThePeaceDaisy BRONZE, Albany, New York
4 articles 5 photos 223 comments

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This happens to me a LOT with this one guy. Great job!
livelovesmile GOLD said...
on Sep. 17 2011 at 11:05 am
livelovesmile GOLD, Gaithersburg, Maryland
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I love the feelings captured in this poem.

Please comment and rate my new poem "Safe On A Cloud"!! I would really appreciate it! Thanks!

AndySixxLover GOLD said...
on May. 30 2011 at 10:11 am
AndySixxLover GOLD, Weatherford, Texas
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Amazing i love it
Dessometrics BRONZE said...
on Oct. 18 2010 at 10:01 am
Dessometrics BRONZE, Charleston, South Carolina
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it describes just about everyones eye catching moment good job
SwallowedByInsanity PLATINUM said...
on Sep. 8 2010 at 9:56 pm
SwallowedByInsanity PLATINUM, Hillsdale, New Jersey
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This was great, but it only describes a moment in time, and I didn't really understand how you were feeling. In my eyes, writing should reflect ones emotions and personality, and I feel you could improve by adding more of yourself to your writing :D Besides that, I thought this piece was very well written.
LeilaniLives PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 12 2010 at 1:06 pm
LeilaniLives PLATINUM, Fort Wayne, Indiana
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How rude can you be? That was not constructed criticism. Take that else where.

It was lovely, dear.