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Eye Contact MAG
eyes meet, impulse to stare
the intent gaze intensifies
the chaotic world continues
but all of its frivolities
disappear in the fog
for a five-second span
time and place forgotten
a name, a purpose, a thought
lost in the stupor
lids stay strained
will not dare to blink
every flake of worry
vanishes in the misty haze
heads turn, moment gone.
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This article has 51 comments.
I love it! So succinct and strong. I know you have real talent, you need to let it all free!
Also, I'd LOVE some feedback on my work, I really want to know what others think, especially another aspiring poet :)
Dreamer_of_Dreams, there is a fine line between constructive criticism and being flat out rude, and you have definitely crossed it. You don't have to like it, but you don't have to express your malicious hate for it in such a snotty way either.
And I don't know why you had to write that you had "standards" on your account. You should be flattered when people ask you to review their work, it means they admire your writing. Maybe I would too if you weren't passing out put downs like this. :(
I love the feelings captured in this poem.
Please comment and rate my new poem "Safe On A Cloud"!! I would really appreciate it! Thanks!
How rude can you be? That was not constructed criticism. Take that else where.
It was lovely, dear.
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