Untitled | Teen Ink

Untitled

January 6, 2023
By Rocio-Grace SILVER, Santo Domingo, Other
Rocio-Grace SILVER, Santo Domingo, Other
8 articles 0 photos 0 comments

I come back to you

hoping you will overflow my cup

as if there was any oil to begin with.

 

My feelings for you are so conflicting-

perhaps clarity is trapped in the gutter of my adolescent mind.

I can say I love you more than the ones that have come before,

but can I truly say I love you?

 

I adore the glares and gazes

when they see us on the busy downtown roads

I adore the way your fingers dance on my skin-

I allow each cavity in my mind to be filled by your memory.

 

Yet, I can never be comforted by your voice,

or look at you with sympathy and adoration.

Am I shallow? Do I use you to fill the gaps in my heart

that have grown each moment I am in this city?

 

Oh,

It is all in the gutter of my adolescent mind.


The author's comments:

I wrote this about a partner I had. I had moved to a place I hated and got to know this boy. When I was with him, I couldn't bring myself to truly love him- he was really more of someone to be with when I was lonely. He didn't know how to comfort me, or make me feel better when I was homesick. But I didn't leave. It left me with an overwhelming guilt everytime I looked at him- I didn't want to use him, but I couldn't live without him even though I didn't love him.


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