TW: sexual assault

My anger is righteous,

your violence was senseless,

I was a child, 

alone and defenseless.

I was too young,

to know what you did was wrong,

I grew up thinking it was okay,

that I deserved it all along.

I replay that moment,

every now and then,

I wish I could forget,

because of you,

I’m scared of men.

I lost myself years ago,

I was a child but now I am nothing,

Who was that child?

Who was I becoming?

Do you remember the softness of my skin,

It was the skin of a girl,

one that trusted you,

without a care in the world.

I have this obsession with escape,

In some universe I got away from you,

trying to release from your grasp,

my happy ending,

isn’t in view.

My childhood,

ripped from my grasp,

all because of you,

I became an outcast.

7 years I kept this secret,

not telling a soul,

my fear grew larger,

It was out of my control.

I used to be a happy child,

singing, dancing,

until you came along,

and ruined my enchanting.

My wonderland was shattered,

there was no more dancing and singing,

all that was left,

was the painful stinging.

I couldn’t leave my house,

I saw your face everywhere,

I was constantly scared,

you could have been anywhere.

Nightmares taunted me as I slept,

my fragile body filled with fright,

I’d burst into tears,

no parents in sight.

I was never the same after that day,

that sweet little girl,

had faded away.

I became a shadow of my being,

I couldn’t leave my bed,

I was scared to go outside,

so I became a shuttin instead.

Before that day,

school was my safe space,

but when you touched me,

that was no longer the case.

I blamed myself every day,

feeling it was my fault,

a shadow of guilt,

came with my assault.

You saw a woman,

I saw a child,

one with hopes and dreams,

but a fading smile.

Now I shiver when someone hugs me,

I’ve never been the same,

on that fateful day,

you took my life away.

Now that I’m older,

I try to revive the child I was,

hoping one day,

she’ll know we’re okay.