I miss him so bad.

And he'll never know, he'd hardly care if he did.

Just friends.

Didn't even care when we were close and saw each other every day. I have only myself to blame. I am, after all, the who said I needed to move on.

It's true he doesn't deserve me if he doesn't care, but I deserve him.

If lives being ruined by someone else is  "a person's world being set on fire" then him being like water, drowned me, denied me the air of his companionship which I desperately need to breathe.

So I cut ties, and found myself floating up to the surface where light gleamed and air was plentiful. And was at peace.. For a time. But then memories of the glorious sensation of being underwater and the sparkling kingdom underneath the surface led my mind to wander and wish, while my heart ached for deep liquid expanse of person I knew not long ago.

And these thoughts and feelings led to others, now my stomach twists and turns, my heart aches and yearns for, HIM.

Yes, you are right, he does not deserve me.. But I deserve him, without him I am,

Miserable.