Anxiety

Lives inside of me

It makes a home in my throat

It flows through the muscles in my hands

Many try to offer their guidance

But still it’s no use

I have to endure its miserable weight

Its weight that crushes my spine

The sensation is overwhelming

The urges fill my arms and legs

The apprehension pushing against the walls of my stomach

Like wind in a jar

Trying to escape my very own fate

It feels like I’m being set up for heartbreak

All my control has disappeared

Where am I,then

If I’m not mentally here

I’ve learned so many tactics

my therapists try to help

But i feel as if I cannot be helped

Like I am out of options

I can’t control it

Soon enough I’ll be empty both outside and in

People tell me they are “worried about me”

Which breaks my heart

And the hardest part

is that I worry for me too

I do not know what the next thing is  that I’ll do

I have no grasp on my emotions

The grip is loosening every second

That i am sitting here

I want it to stop

Forever

so I can feel happy again

That’s who I truly am

If i reach deep down inside

I find the colors that fill my soul

The sunset loving

Fantasising

Person that i am

But I feel like i am loosing her

Every time I breath in  

More of me comes spiraling out

Along with those colors

And I am forever changed