Subtle Death | Teen Ink

Subtle Death

August 7, 2011
By Thesilentraven PLATINUM, Mableton, Georgia
Thesilentraven PLATINUM, Mableton, Georgia
40 articles 2 photos 1632 comments

Favorite Quote:
"il piu nell' uno," (according to Emerson, an Italian expression for beauty)

"Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality" ~Emily Dickinson

"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain"
~Kahlil Gibran


My inner child was miscarried
In the yard of yesterday
Even the infant knew
That its birth was overdue
As it lay there, wailing, in the clay

The godmother’s eyes rolled quite freely
When she had taken all for lost
Her face swallowed by her wrinkled hands
Her fingertips laced with moss

The constellations were obscured by clouds
The flowers wilting with a hush
As winter stroked their pretty petals
Which had only begun to blush

The rebel laid his allegorical sword
At the feet of the theoretical king
The abbot invited his bell to sound
But could never hear it ring

I had waited for life
And also for death
All the while, testing my knife
With the heat of my breath

I thought “perhaps I shall be slain”
But my butcher judged by the weather-
That this simply wasn’t the day
So I suppose I will sit here in the gentle rain
Contented to decay


The author's comments:
Is anybody reading this?

If so, how are you feeling today?

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This article has 40 comments.


on Mar. 12 2014 at 11:40 am
IamtheshyStargirl PLATINUM, Lothlorien, Utah
44 articles 16 photos 2206 comments

Favorite Quote:
Boredom instigates extreme creativity.
~Amoniel

"Bowing gratefully to all of my subjects, 'thank you. Thank you. The pleasure is mine." Nah, I'm just kidding. We're all kings together.'"
~Thesilentraven

Well, my Raven. I am reading this right now, and today I feel quiet. 

leafy said...
on Feb. 3 2012 at 3:17 pm
leafy, City, Other
0 articles 0 photos 682 comments

Favorite Quote:
Gil: I would like you to read my novel and get your opinion. 
Ernest Hemingway: I hate it. 
Gil: You haven't even read it yet. 
Ernest Hemingway: If it's bad, I'll hate it. If it's good, then I'll be envious and hate it even more. You don't want the opinion of another writer. 

Wow, o wow. I am almost speechless - almost. At first, I was gonna name the lines "The rebel laid his allegorical sword/At the feet of the theoretical king" as my favorite, but then I realized that the last two stanzas, the last one especially, I just...love, to say the least. So alas, I have to favorite another poem of yours, my Feathery Bard.. It's funny, I only have fifteen or so pieces 'favorited,' and probably around a third of them are yours :).

I just, well, it's hard to explain and now you will be sentenced to seeing the needless ramble (muahaha!). Ever wonder about the thought processes of a leaf? Well here goes...

. The last stanza seemed to connect so well, although I do not know why (I have yet to have a personal butcher). It seems sort of...quintessential, for my characters. I guess that's why I connect to it: through my characters. They are like your babies, after all - something those who don't have a passion for writing and creating will never understand.

The first stanza reminded me a lot of my would-be older brother, who was miscarried. This probably seems silly, but have fantasies, so to speak, of him and how things would be like if he never died. I've always wanted an older brother, someone to share as a middle child (I have an older and younger sister, and he would've been in between me and my older's age), someone to 'protect' me, and the list can go on (I won't bore you that much though)... Actually, with the previous note of characters, two of my main ones are based on how I've imagined my brother.

As for your question, I've been feeling fairly...brooding, though in a good way. I've just been in a poetry mood, ya know? That's why I came over here to read more of your stuff. You?

So yes, now you have (hopefully) survived an abridged version of the tangents of a classic leaf, congratulations :). *bows to Raven-san* Once again, your words never cease to amaze me.

on Aug. 27 2011 at 2:33 pm
Thesilentraven PLATINUM, Mableton, Georgia
40 articles 2 photos 1632 comments

Favorite Quote:
"il piu nell' uno," (according to Emerson, an Italian expression for beauty)

"Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality" ~Emily Dickinson

"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain"
~Kahlil Gibran

Understand and smile, all the while. :)

on Aug. 27 2011 at 1:14 pm
IamtheshyStargirl PLATINUM, Lothlorien, Utah
44 articles 16 photos 2206 comments

Favorite Quote:
Boredom instigates extreme creativity.
~Amoniel

"Bowing gratefully to all of my subjects, 'thank you. Thank you. The pleasure is mine." Nah, I'm just kidding. We're all kings together.'"
~Thesilentraven

Maybe all? Or some unknown and unnamed thing yet to be discovered.

Your parents must be wonderful beings. 

I have had more time than anyone I know to figure our who I am. 

Oh, I don't know what to say, or how to say it. You will understand anyway :)


on Aug. 27 2011 at 12:00 pm
Thesilentraven PLATINUM, Mableton, Georgia
40 articles 2 photos 1632 comments

Favorite Quote:
"il piu nell' uno," (according to Emerson, an Italian expression for beauty)

"Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality" ~Emily Dickinson

"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain"
~Kahlil Gibran

If this indeed is the key which I have sitting quietly in my pocket, touching it lightly with a tentative finger, then it was not stumbled upon, but handed to me by... who? The midnight blue sky? My mother and father? Some messenger of a chickadee?

And as a result of this self-naming, you know who you are more than most people that I know. :)

I, by the way, sign off my every journal entry with the name which you gave me: the Story Weaver.


on Aug. 26 2011 at 7:30 pm
IamtheshyStargirl PLATINUM, Lothlorien, Utah
44 articles 16 photos 2206 comments

Favorite Quote:
Boredom instigates extreme creativity.
~Amoniel

"Bowing gratefully to all of my subjects, 'thank you. Thank you. The pleasure is mine." Nah, I'm just kidding. We're all kings together.'"
~Thesilentraven

That is good advice, I will take it to heart heartily :) Maybe that's the solutution, to dance away the gray at every opportunity. Ah, wisest of friends, perhaps you have stumbled upon one of the, if not the key/s to the universe.

I wrote in my journal yesterday that the words are buried deep within my heart. And perhaps if I listen hard enough, I can hear them too. 

I named myself. 


on Aug. 26 2011 at 6:44 pm
Thesilentraven PLATINUM, Mableton, Georgia
40 articles 2 photos 1632 comments

Favorite Quote:
"il piu nell' uno," (according to Emerson, an Italian expression for beauty)

"Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality" ~Emily Dickinson

"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain"
~Kahlil Gibran

We are assigned our names. They are not us, unless we make them ourselves. You can grow to love a name, or to hate it. Sometimes I wonder if it would be better if we all chose our own names. As you both seem to be saying, we are much more than our names.

on Aug. 26 2011 at 6:41 pm
Thesilentraven PLATINUM, Mableton, Georgia
40 articles 2 photos 1632 comments

Favorite Quote:
"il piu nell' uno," (according to Emerson, an Italian expression for beauty)

"Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality" ~Emily Dickinson

"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain"
~Kahlil Gibran

I tip my hat to you, Liz. Cheers! Philosophical is my middle name. ;)

on Aug. 26 2011 at 6:40 pm
Thesilentraven PLATINUM, Mableton, Georgia
40 articles 2 photos 1632 comments

Favorite Quote:
"il piu nell' uno," (according to Emerson, an Italian expression for beauty)

"Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality" ~Emily Dickinson

"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain"
~Kahlil Gibran

Ah, well, Stargirl; there must always (at least, in this place) be moments that make our hearts ache, that's what gives us depth. I do not know how the world got this way, or exactly how we can change it, but (as the Raven said not too long ago), we can still put on our festive hats and dance away the gray.

You do have the words, dear. Perhaps there are times when you don't have to open your mouth to say them, but I can hear them if I listen properly. :)


on Aug. 26 2011 at 6:31 pm
Thesilentraven PLATINUM, Mableton, Georgia
40 articles 2 photos 1632 comments

Favorite Quote:
"il piu nell' uno," (according to Emerson, an Italian expression for beauty)

"Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality" ~Emily Dickinson

"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain"
~Kahlil Gibran

I know that poem well, and carry it around in case I ever need it, rather like some spiritual people carry around scripture in their hearts. You sensed so well what I was trying to write, and for that I am glad.

 


on Aug. 23 2011 at 11:22 pm
LondonEye DIAMOND, Randolph, New Jersey
89 articles 125 photos 71 comments
Hmm, I like the idea behind this. Reminds me for some reason of Dickinson's Because I Could Not Stop For Death, perhaps because of the content resignation I sense in the tone. I especially like the imagery in the last line of the first stanza. 

on Aug. 23 2011 at 5:56 pm
savetheplanet PLATINUM, Anaheim, California
45 articles 9 photos 564 comments

Favorite Quote:
It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

There's more to a person than a name, I never said different, only that names are important.

on Aug. 23 2011 at 5:55 pm
IamtheshyStargirl PLATINUM, Lothlorien, Utah
44 articles 16 photos 2206 comments

Favorite Quote:
Boredom instigates extreme creativity.
~Amoniel

"Bowing gratefully to all of my subjects, 'thank you. Thank you. The pleasure is mine." Nah, I'm just kidding. We're all kings together.'"
~Thesilentraven

Aaaaaannnnd I still say there's more to a person than just their name.

And the context in which the name has power thing was used on Raven was vindictive and domineering.


on Aug. 23 2011 at 5:53 pm
savetheplanet PLATINUM, Anaheim, California
45 articles 9 photos 564 comments

Favorite Quote:
It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Because otherwise names are meaningless.

on Aug. 23 2011 at 5:46 pm
IamtheshyStargirl PLATINUM, Lothlorien, Utah
44 articles 16 photos 2206 comments

Favorite Quote:
Boredom instigates extreme creativity.
~Amoniel

"Bowing gratefully to all of my subjects, 'thank you. Thank you. The pleasure is mine." Nah, I'm just kidding. We're all kings together.'"
~Thesilentraven

Well why should you?

on Aug. 23 2011 at 5:35 pm
savetheplanet PLATINUM, Anaheim, California
45 articles 9 photos 564 comments

Favorite Quote:
It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Why shouldn't you give names power?

on Aug. 23 2011 at 4:49 pm
IamtheshyStargirl PLATINUM, Lothlorien, Utah
44 articles 16 photos 2206 comments

Favorite Quote:
Boredom instigates extreme creativity.
~Amoniel

"Bowing gratefully to all of my subjects, 'thank you. Thank you. The pleasure is mine." Nah, I'm just kidding. We're all kings together.'"
~Thesilentraven

Only if you give it to them, and there's much more to every person than their name. 

Public school never has been too big on thinking, my mom says. I guess that's why I'm homeschooled. 


on Aug. 22 2011 at 8:46 pm
savetheplanet PLATINUM, Anaheim, California
45 articles 9 photos 564 comments

Favorite Quote:
It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Hmm, but names have power.

on Aug. 22 2011 at 8:03 pm
IamtheshyStargirl PLATINUM, Lothlorien, Utah
44 articles 16 photos 2206 comments

Favorite Quote:
Boredom instigates extreme creativity.
~Amoniel

"Bowing gratefully to all of my subjects, 'thank you. Thank you. The pleasure is mine." Nah, I'm just kidding. We're all kings together.'"
~Thesilentraven

Nobody seems to understand anymore, no one seems to even want to. The good teachers are worn down by the system, as are the soulful kids, it is the only the power and control hungry people who prevail. 

(There is something I want to tell you, do you want to hear it? It concerns dreaming.)


on Aug. 22 2011 at 8:01 pm
IamtheshyStargirl PLATINUM, Lothlorien, Utah
44 articles 16 photos 2206 comments

Favorite Quote:
Boredom instigates extreme creativity.
~Amoniel

"Bowing gratefully to all of my subjects, 'thank you. Thank you. The pleasure is mine." Nah, I'm just kidding. We're all kings together.'"
~Thesilentraven

My heart aches. How did the world get this way? 

What more can I say, I seem to so rarely have the words. I seem to experience the world differently from most, in so many ways.