Our Love Game | Teen Ink

Our Love Game

May 15, 2011
By ThisGirlWillMakeMistakes PLATINUM, Raymore, Missouri
ThisGirlWillMakeMistakes PLATINUM, Raymore, Missouri
23 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't cry because it's over,
Smile because it happened."


-Dr. Suess


You kissed me once; Hugged me twice,
Now it's time to roll the dice,
I'm not listening to anybody else advice,
It is time to go home or play nice.

Even numbers its my way,
Odd numbers its your day,
I don't really care how you play,
But this is all I got to say;

The numbers in this game are 1,2,3,4,5,6
This game involves me and no other chicks,
Don't try any of your boyish tricks,
Let's not make this a confusing matrix.

If I win were gonna have some fun,
Were gonna laugh and lay in the Sun,
Who knows when were gonna be done,
In the end I hope I'm your number one.

If you win I hope you choose right,
I hope your plans go on through the night,
I hope what we do will be outta sight,
No matter what happens I hope we stay tight.

If you haven't guessed this is a love game,
All you gotta do is remember my name,
Don't worry about things staying the same,
Its gonna be hard to keep us tame.

Just show me a little respect,
Try to understand my dialect,
Sometimes I'm afraid and suspect,
I'll give you my heart and you'll reject.

Let's take a chance on this game of love,
Let's treat it like a gift from above,
Let neither of us try to push or shove,
Our moments will be something to dream of.

When we're together I'll always smile,
I hope we last a very long while,
I hope between us there will be no denial,
If you say no my heart will be vile.

So please babe just take a chance,
Our love will be a great story of romance,
You always make my heart want to dance,
Day by day my smile would enhance.

Its okay to take my hand,
Together we will take our stand,
Our promise will be tight as a band,
Everybody will see and they'll understand.


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This article has 4 comments.


on Jul. 24 2011 at 8:20 pm
TheKountess GOLD, Scenery Hill, Pennsylvania
11 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same." ~Jonathan Davis (KoRn)
"You Just May Start A Chain Reaction"~Rachel Joy Scott

I just love this. I agree with GanstaEyes that a few places were a little forced, but either way it was just great. :) A lot of your writing reminds me of my own. Keep writing, I can tell your passionate about it.

PS - I totally heard this as a song in my head. :)


on Jun. 22 2011 at 10:48 am
Alcanno DIAMOND, Mexia, Texas
59 articles 0 photos 670 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you love life, don't waste time, for time is what life is
made up of."

-- Bruce Lee

Sure. :) I'm always really hesitant to give criticism because I worry the writer will get mad... But I've learned that when people give ME criticism, it can really help. So sorry if I came aross rude or anything. :P

on Jun. 21 2011 at 12:34 pm
ThisGirlWillMakeMistakes PLATINUM, Raymore, Missouri
23 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't cry because it's over,
Smile because it happened."


-Dr. Suess

Thank you.(: and thanks for the criticism i really appreciate it!

on Jun. 21 2011 at 9:04 am
Alcanno DIAMOND, Mexia, Texas
59 articles 0 photos 670 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you love life, don't waste time, for time is what life is
made up of."

-- Bruce Lee

I like this one a lot, the first verse pulls the reader in. If was to give you one tiny piece of constructive criticism, I'd say be careful about rhyming. Don't get me wrong, you're very good at it, and it flows pretty well overall, but sometimes the lines are a little forced so they fit the rhyme scheme. Thats just my opinion tho :P Probably because I kinda suck at rhyming... Other than that, great job! :D I love the message behind it, its super relatable :)