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When Was Our Last?
There was a time not long ago
That I would have been fantasizing the future.
I would Have laughed and squealed on playground swings.
There was a time not too long ago
That I would sneak into my parent's bed because their presence was stronger than my fear of the dark.
A time when I would play make-believe in our backyard. I was a knight and my sword was a stick that had fallen out of the trees.
There was a time before I was disenchanted with the world.
When I could look at beauty and not compare myself to it.
I remember hearing that tummies were bad and should be flat. Well, mine stuck out past my chest less than an inch.
When was the last time I could look in a mirror without feeling anger that my hair doesn’t look perfect? Or that my eyes were slightly uneven.
Before I felt disgusted towards my body I felt nothing but delight. So when was the last time I loved myself without conditions?
When did I feel that I didn’t deserve love? Why did that feed into me finding people who only would push me closer to the edge I was already hanging off?
When did the most toxic relationship I could have become the one with myself?
When was our last time being that child? Pure and content, without flaw.
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This article has 2 comments.
In the past, I have struggled with my self-image and still do struggle with an eating disorder. This poetry is more of a coping mechanism than anything else, but I hope it helps someone else. To anyone else that was sitting in the same boat I once did, I promise it is so much better to get help than suffer alone.