One day I woke up fat
I hadn't always been fat
In fact I had never been fat
I still haven't been fat to this day
But that morning when I woke up
I was fat
After I was fat
Things changed
Little by little
I grew up and got older
I grew up and got wiser
I grew up and got stupider
I grew up and got sick
It was because I was fat
I wanted to not be fat
And to do so was no easy feat
Because getting fat is simple
But getting thin is hard
Especially when you're supposed to be fat
If God says you're supposed to be fat
And you want to be skinny like I did
Then you're going against God
But I was determined to wake up thin someday
And I did
That was the morning I woke up in the hospital
Of course it had been a few years
I was still fat
And of course I wasn't fat
But I was
If you know what I mean
The the people who I loved told me I was dying
And I told them I already knew
I told them I wasn't going to die fat
And I laughed
But I could not laugh at him
He loved me more than anything
He never even had to say it
His eyes told me for him
And when I woke up thin
When I was really fat
But wasn't fat at all
I saw his eyes
And in his eyes I saw who I was
Who I had become
What I had done to him
And I wasn't fat
I wasn't thin
I wasn't sick
I wasn't alive
I wasn't dead
I was in his eyes
Only in his eyes was I
And I had hurt him
He cried every night
Not knowing if I'd make it
Not knowing if I'd wake up
And here I was hoping I'd wake up thin
And there he was hoping I'd wake up
I was a horrible person
And then it didn't matter anymore
I would be fat for him
I'd be anything for him
But mainly I'd be myself for him
And God didn't want me dead
And he didn't want me dead
And I didn't want me dead
So I woke up
And each morning I woke up a little more
And one day I woke up and walked out
I walked out of the hospital
And into his arms
And I haven't left