A Million Times | Teen Ink

A Million Times

May 1, 2015
By LazyGenius SILVER, Windham, Ohio
LazyGenius SILVER, Windham, Ohio
8 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It is better to remain silent at the risk of being thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt of it"


Your blue eyes are shining.
The stars must be aligning.
I feel our souls combining,
and my fears declining.

I look in those beautiful eyes.
Brighter than the brightest skies,
and I see the lies,
told to you by other guys.

I want to know who you are,
because you're sweeter than a candy bar,
brighter than a shooting star,
and you know what's bizarre?

I've never felt this way
I know it sounds like a cliche,
but I just have to say
You're blowing me away.

I'm asking you to be mine,
And I really hope you don't decline
If you love me please give me a sign,
lock your fingers with mine so they intertwine.

I'm done with the lame rhymes
I hope I don't give you too many hard climbs
even though I might mess up sometimes,
if you ask if I love you, I'll say yes a million times.



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This article has 2 comments.


on May. 7 2015 at 9:30 am
LazyGenius SILVER, Windham, Ohio
8 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It is better to remain silent at the risk of being thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt of it"

I really appreciate the kind words and the suggestions! I wrote this poem in 5 minutes so I can't help but feel as if some of this praise was undeserved!

Beila BRONZE said...
on May. 7 2015 at 12:19 am
Beila BRONZE, Palo Alto, California
3 articles 0 photos 516 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco." -Mark Twain

Parts of this are so beautiful, so precious, heartfelt, and... innocent? It's like this feeling I want to have in a bottle so I can pull it out far into the future and remember again how special these moments feel. My only criticism is that some rhymes felt... awkward? forced? I think this improved over the course of the poem; I love the last few stanzas, but I did cringe a couple times over the first few. Try to focus more on the effortless feel of the words than the rhyme. It's better to rework a line or stanza entirely than change one word out of sync with the others to match the rhyme scheme. Nice job, though! Ooh, random thought! This gives me the same feeling as does Bruno Mars's "Just the Way You Are"- it's a compliment! :)