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Impulse
Silence the demons and quicken my pulse.
Give me a rush, sweet dangerous impulse.
Far from expected, it's hard to fight instinct,
But I'll never confess. I know what they'd all think.
Etched in my memory like it's etched in my skin.
I'll never forget such a beautiful sin.
I know it's unhealthy but the rush is so great.
You say I'm playing with life and fighting with fate.
I disagree strongly; It's a natural high,
A pain I command. I'm not looking to die.
I just feel so excited when I see my own blood.
Pain sharp as crystal, a powerful drug.
When my body's so tattered I can finally feel.
Is it wrong that I just want to know that I'm real?
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More than a year later, I still ask for the impulse to take over sometimes.