E.E. Cummings once said, “Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.” I believe that self-confidence can overcome fear. Man, that sounds cliche, but it has been proven over and over again to me. In my short fourteen years, I’ve lost so many opportunities from not having the confidence to try new and exciting experiences. Since I was little, I can remember being hesitant to do things. Fear has always played a big part in my life. Scared to say things, scared to try, and scared to be wrong. I’ve always been one to play it safe. But I’ve also seen and been apart of things I won’t ever have another chance to do by believing in myself.

My first day of kindergarten. I was a tiny little five-year-old, walking in with my two french braids, matching pink backpack and lunch box, and bleached white keds. I’ve always been more on the shy side. I walked in to see all of the other little ones standing next to their parents just like me. It didn’t click to me my mom wouldn’t be there the whole day, but soon enough, she was getting up to leave me. The whole day, I sat in the corner and cried. I refused to participate because I was so scared to not have my mom there for the first time, and I wasn’t confident I could make friends. It wasn’t until almost a week into school, that I ended up opening up to the kids I would go to school with until fourth grade. I loved kindergarten, but my lack of self-confidence caused me to miss out on things.

When my mom told me she was pregnant with the first of my three little brothers, I reacted horribly. I screamed and cried, and I thought I was so angry, but looking back, I realized what I was feeling was fear. It had been my mom, my dad, my sister, and I since I was born. A lot had changed leading up to that point. My parents couldn’t be in the same room without fighting so they divorced when I was six, my mom and stepdad got married when I was seven, and my first brother came when I was eight.  So much was happening in those years that I felt so scared, confused, and alone. It was like the only person that knew how I felt was my sister, but even with her I was scared to talk to her. I felt like what I was feeling was wrong. The week leading up to my brother coming, I tried to act happy for everyone, but I felt this fear that I would be forgotten. After he came home, I couldn’t be happier. He brings me so much joy and when I remember I was scared for him to come, I feel ridiculous because I can’t imagine life without him and without being an older sister.

My next experience with an enormous amount of fear was the time I switched schools. From the outside, the kids at Blue Oak might seem tough, but going there and getting to know them showed me that they are some of the most loving and amazing people you could meet. I moved halfway through the year. I was short, with super curly hair, braces, pimples, and nervous and shy when I switched to Blue Oak. The first year, I was so scared to open up to anyone. I had a few friends and everyone else seemed to be out of reach of being friends with. Over the summer, I changed. When I got back, I vowed to be friends with everyone and always be open to new people. By the time we graduated, I had developed a second family and knew people I can always count on. It took a lot of confidence for me to become friends with everyone, but I regret not doing it sooner.

Fear has always played a big part in my life. Scared to say things, scared to try, and scared to be wrong. I’ve always been one to play it safe. But going out of your comfort zone once in awhile brings in memories that you could never replace. Going out of your comfort zone is what makes certain things fun. In the end, I believe that self-confidence can overcome fear.