Filling the Empty Space | Teen Ink

Filling the Empty Space

September 5, 2015
By Olivia Kerber GOLD, Walnut, Illinois
Olivia Kerber GOLD, Walnut, Illinois
14 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Let me tell you something that every girl wants from the age 15 to 18, a boy. Not just any boy, but the boy that is going to treat you right, buy you flowers, open doors, and make you feel important. And I know some girls don’t fit into this category, and that’s okay, I'm making a generalization. When you finally get a guy that is doing those things, something always seems to go wrong. Guys that age have a lot of hormones flying around and want to do a lot of physical things, and some girls are not into that. I can tell you from personal experience I wasn’t into that. I was a good girl that went to church and knew what was right and what was wrong, but sometimes I just wanted to please the guy so much. I would be driving in my car and think of all that I had done, and known was wrong. I would pray for forgiveness but sometimes I knew in my heart I would still do it again. I would then ask for forgiveness yet again, and the process would continue until the relationship with the guy ended.  After the relationship would end I would run back to God telling him how sorry I was for leaving, and it wouldn’t happen again. It always did though. I found my comfort in filling the empty spot in my heart with guys instead of God. I would feel guilty for what I was doing only to create another whole in my heart. When I would fill the space with the Holy Spirit I didn’t feel guilty, I felt whole, complete. I realized that I needed God in my life, and a boy was second priority. I sat and thought about this for a while, and thought maybe I should cut dating out of my life for a while. I know if you’re a girl in this situation you’re probably thinking I'm crazy. How could I just cut guys out? Well I didn’t. What I would do is when a guy came into my life I would pray to the Lord to give me a sign if he was a boy worth giving my heart to. Boys are not a bad thing, but it is how you handle the situation that can be bad. I had to pick a boy that wasn’t going to fill the empty space in my heart, but was going to help me grow. He was going to want to spiritually be there for me, and help me with my journey through faith. It's okay if you haven’t come to this realization yet, and its okay if you have and aren’t sure what to do. What is important is that you notice what you are doing and ask God for help. He is good and wants to help you. I had wished I had made this realization before all my heart breaks and struggling, but I didn’t. I had to learn from doing, but some people just need to hear something like this. God can’t walk your road for you, but He will always be there with you. 


The author's comments:

I hope whoever reads this is moved. You are always loved by God. 


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