Today I did something very daring: I deleted my Facebook. I did not see the point of it. As I was looking through my so called friends, applications which said "what I liked", I realized Facebook was my way of lamely attempting to prove to everyone (exboyfriends, friends, family members) how cool and put together I am. How many times have you taken a picture and said, "Oh man, I have to upload that on Facebook! I hope (put name here) sees it!" How many times have you been out and something funny happens and you feel the need to make it your Facebook status. How many times have you spent your time reading what other people are doing while you are sitting on your butt doing nothing? Yup, thought so but no worries, I have as well. After de-activating my personal web page of pictures taken of me making funny faces (which we all have done and uploaded with quotations saying "God I'm such a dork" yet find ourselves misleadingly fun and sexy in), I went through my cellphone and started deleting. I deleted 100 numbers, no joke. I had no idea who half the people were in there and I figured, if I am such an important person in their life, they will call me.
It is great to be an open person but I was exhausted with being so accessible I'm not saying I am "too cool" to be friends with you but my idea of a friendship as changed. Being friends consists of calling me and saying "hi, what's up?" Not commenting on a photo of me after not talking to me for a year, being drunk and posing with a bottle booty in the air. Being my friend consists of writing me a birthday card, not writing on my wall "yo, happy birthday! It's been a while hope all is well!" because a stupid website reminded you that it was my birthday. If you are my friend, you would know November 4th is my birthday and I would like a gift certificate to Peets Coffee (thanks in advance!)
While I was cutting out the bullsh*** in my life, "pretty blue eyes" texted me at 11:33 pm saying, "Hey sugar I'm back!" Pretty Blue Eyes has never taken me out to dinner. He has never made plans with me in advance. He feels that it is alright to call me at ungodly hours to make plans and that is not his fault. I let him! You know what I did? After replying that I was in the city, (he lives about 45 minutes away which by the way, he should be willing to drive), I deleted him. I'm sorry show me some respect if you want some.
Last but not least, I remembered the reason I was putting my armor up. My father has always treated my trust like a drive by window now before you label me as "the girl with daddy issues", let me explain one thing. I wouldn't be this strong of a person if I hadn't had to deal with the lovely roller coaster he and some others have put me through. Some of us chose to be ignorant, and hope that the next person is different. To tell you the truth? He/She probably isn't. We can learn from our mistakes. Expect the worst and hope for the best. Love wouldn't be such a treasure if everyone found it however the hardest love to find is the one for yourself. So delete your Facebook and learn the art of being a mystery, someone different and less available to the public. Keep the people who treasure you and forget the rest.