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The More I Get to Know Men, the More I Like Dogs...
Men. As the saying goes, “you can’t live with them, you can’t live without them.” Though I am not sure who this ubiquitous ‘you’ is referring to, since I have only heard this phrase muttered under the breath of exasperated women, I’m going to have to say the ‘you’ is referring to a woman. These days, women have to be weary of men and their ulterior motives. I have found that women often have to stop and ask themselves a variety of questions about the man they’re interested in before pursuing a relationship with him. These questions can vary from “does he really like me or is he just using me?” to “he is just too perfect, could he be gay?” While the general questions may differ from man to man, the common uncertainties about the opposite sex remains. While women may find it hard to live with or without men, women should be able to distinguish the different types of the male species. To fully understand how a woman should go about pursuing her man, women must first know what questions to ask themselves and what to expect from each type of man. Men can be categorized into four main types: the goofball, the bad boy, the charmer, and the nice guy. Each type of man has a certain characteristics that are easy to recognize once you know what you are looking for.
The Goofball
The goofball has many good points. He is the loveable, carefree guy who constantly makes you laugh. He can always cheer you up when you’re in a bad mood. After you’ve had a bad day, the goofball is the one you want to sit at home at hang out with while eating tubs of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. Between Ben, Jerry, and the goofball, your mood should be uplifted in no time. The downfall to the goofball is that he often seems to be immature and unable to take things seriously. The question to ask yourself when you are around him is whether or not he likes you or if you are just one of “the guys.” Side effects of hanging out with the goofball may consist of sore facial muscles from smiling, aching abdominal muscles from laughing, and a possible headache from constantly rolling your eyes at his lame jokes. If you’re looking for a serious relationship, be cautious around the goofball. Too much seriousness may scare him away and not enough will send you running in search of the next Dr. Phil -- or anyone else who constantly speaks in a serious and analytical manner.
The Bad Boy
The bad boy comes off as mysterious and dangerous, but on the inside he is very clever and captivating. He can be surprisingly sensitive though he would never let any of his friends know this fact. Deep down, women like the bad boys -- we find their mysterious nature to be attractive. Besides the fact that the bad boy always seems like a good choice because you’ve never met anyone like him, you should be wary around the bad boy. The bad boy can unintentionally win your affection with an amused smirk and a funny comment. The downside of him unintentionally winning your affections is just that -- it was unintentional and may not necessarily be reciprocated. Beware of the bad boy, because whether you realize it or not… he is a heartbreaker. Until the bad boy is ready for commitment, he feels the need to “sow his wild oats.” Another downside to the bad boy is that sooner or later, you probably will get tired of being the only one who makes an effort. The question you need to ponder about is whether you think the bad boy can stick around long enough to have an actual relationship. Remember, you can only play the cat and mouse game for so long before someone gives up.
The Charmer
The charmer is the worst out of these four categories of men. Not only does he appear perfect, he appears to be genuine. The charmer makes you fall head-over-heels in love with him. He makes you feel like a princess, he spoils you, and he appears to worship you. The funny thing about the charmer is you aren’t the only one he is worshipping. The charmer is good at what he does, not only has he charmed you, but he has charmed your friends and family members as well. Oh, and did I mention that he is also charming every other girl that he is talking to? You see, the main problem with the charmer is that you will never know how many girls he is charming. Not only does he seem to be a knight in shining armor, but he is also cunning, persuasive, and a fantastic liar. One of the many downfalls of the charmer is that he will “love” you until you get too complicated for him and then he’ll move on. The charmer will break your heart and feel no remorse, simply because that is what he does. The important information you need to know about the charmer is how to spot him out. Is he too nice to your friends or sister? If the answer is yes, my advice is to RUN.
The Nice Guy
Last but not least, there is the nice guy. He is the best friend who will listen to you complain about anything and everything. The guy who is always there for you after the bad boy, the goofball, and the charmer have all broken your heart. The nice guy is sweet, loyal, and compassionate. He will make a perfect husband and a great father. The good side of the nice guy is that you may have a best friend for life. He will listen to you gripe and complain and will tell you everything you need to know about men. The only thing he won’t tell you is the fact that he has been in love with you for quite some time. This leads to the only downfall to the nice guy, which is the fact that you feel no attraction towards him. You have become so used to thinking of him as your best friend that he has become permanently stuck in the “friend zone.” If you do decide to have a relationship with the nice guy, the relationship often becomes routine and dull. The question that comes to mind when dealing with the nice guy is whether you want to risk possibly losing the friendship if things don’t work out. You can’t expect to stay best friends with him if you end on bad terms. You have to decide if you are willing to trade eating Taco Bell in your sweats together with going to real restaurants where you actually have to shave your legs.
Many women after pursuing the goofball, the bad boy, the charmer, and the nice guy come to the same realization -- maybe we can live without men. What is so great about men anyway? Granted, not all men demonstrate such behaviors and every relationship differs depending on the people involved in the relationship. Also, not all men fit into these four categories. Some men are eclectic and some men are just creepy misfits. The main question remains the same -- what is so great about men? I’m starting to realize that the more men I meet, the more I love coming home to my dog. At least my dog can balance being playful and serious, won’t ever get bored of chasing me, won’t pretend to love me, or care if I haven’t shaved my legs in weeks. Maybe dogs are the solution to all of our man-troubles. So next time you want to give that two-timing loser a second chance, be rational and just go to PetCo instead.
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