I never knew how strong love was until that one day.I've dreamt of the moment where I would finally feel the true love someone has for me, for who I am. Although, never would I have thought how much it would test my heart.The most important thing to me is the trust and loyalty I instill upon my loved ones. I went through my life believing the very best in people and giving everything I had. Little did I know that this could be taken away from me in the matter of minutes.

In May of 2018 I had just embarked on my first boyfriend, who I felt I could trust with my life. We did everything together, he would help me through my rough times and make me feel like I was important. I could trust him with anything. He was my everything when I  had nothing. As time went on my friends started to drop me one by one as I journeyed further with my relationship. I lost my best friend of 4 yrs and the rest followed, leaving me alone and abandoned.                                                                                 

A few months later in September I was alone, I felt like my life wasn't going to get better. On a Saturday night at 10:55 pm, I found myself at the mercy of a blade hoping it would fix everything. It didn't. It was 11:00 and he was worried, my best friend and I were on the rocks so I didn't expect her to understand how I felt. My heart was racing and the thoughts of my troubles pounded in my head like a warning drum. Thoughts of how I wasn't enough, and how no one could ever love me. Until he showed me how someone could, he helped me out of my dark ways and life was immensely better. It was 11:01, texts were sent back and forth between him and my ex friend. He knew how much pain she had put me through, all the mentally abusive things she would do. I didn't know why he would ever feel the need to talk to her. He told me he was worried, he had asked her what to do. I was happy to see how much he cared until comments of concern turned to nasty hurtful things about me. He told her everything I ever cried to him about, exposed my heart to one of the most toxic people to have ever step foot into my life. He broke my loyalty and trust I had engraved into my heart for him. They went back and forth about how I difficult and how emotional I was, using language that stabbed a knife right through my heart. It turned from him asking for help about me, to him letting her know if she ever needed anything to come to him. I had never felt more pain burst through out my body.

How did I find out? It wasn't until a month later after having and amazing day working with him and laughing with not a care in the world I stumbled upon the messages. Messages sent between him and my ex friend. Pain engulfed my heart as tears poured down my face. I didn't know what to say or how to breathe. I asked him to explain hoping there was a reason for all this chaos but nothing. Not single letter dropped from his mouth, just sighs of regret. I ran into the other room unable to keep balance, as my legs gave out I crashed into the floor. I felt like I had fallen from a 12 story building and just splattered against the concrete. “There must be a reason why “ I kept repeating in my head, trying to find comfort but there was one. He made a mistake. It took a few days for me to realize that he was upset and didn't know what to say. It took me a week to forgive him, but i'm still trying to trust him. More and more I find my trust for him , I know people make mistakes. I know people can hurt you, but in the end love is stronger than any words said and love is stronger than any fight. He is the love of my life. He is still that kind and loving boy I fell in love with. Love is strong.