Her name is Woman | Teen Ink

Her name is Woman

January 14, 2010
By Julietbyheart BRONZE, Coalton, Ohio
Julietbyheart BRONZE, Coalton, Ohio
3 articles 0 photos 15 comments

People say “Be yourself!”, they don't mean it. People say do what you think is right – but they mean what they think is right.

Personally something keeps bugging me. Its not something I guess you hear a lot of people say but I'm sick of hearing feminists dictating what a woman should be. That is the truth. People tell you to do what you want but they honestly think that means be a doctor or a lawyer. Discrimination against housewives and mother is really making me sick.

They complain if you depend on a guy – some girls like that. They complain if you give up a career to have a baby – some girls don't want to be out there. I guess you could say I'm traditional. I don't care if you go and work, I don't care if you don't want to get married. I don't care if you want to pay all of your bills – but because you do doesn't mean I should.

When I lay down at night sometimes my dreams are to be a doctor, sometimes they are to be a personal trainer. Sometimes my dream is simply meeting a guy and getting married, let him work and me stay home with the kids. That doesn't make me a bad person – I'm not made like everybody else.

I dream about sewing and knitting my babies clothes and booties. I dream about cooking and cleaning and having pride in my home. I dream about sitting around with my husband in the evening watching a movie or reading the Bible while we play with our babies and kids.

Women have fought for so long to become this figure of not needing anyone and depending on themselves. But there are girls out there who want to depend on a husband they meet at church camp, there are girls who want to depend on their high school sweethearts. There are some girls who want to have babies and who want to clean.

I can understand women and girls wanting to become a real career fighter but that isn't for me. I want to have a garden and let my little girl pick the flowers, I want to bake cookies with my little boy.

This figure that we have been fighting for has really backfired. Tthere is such a beautiful thing in women. We are passionate, caring, loving, understanding, and always there for a good cry. But because Women have fought for this image we have lost a lot of that. I understand if you want to but some women and girls walk around manly and rude. I think a woman who stays home is beautiful. I think a woman who works at the Hospital saving lives is beautiful. And they are. Why can't everyone see that?

People say I'm like this because I'm a non-denominational Christian who doesn't cut her hair or who only wears skirt. But that isn't it at all. I have the freedom to do whatever I want and this is what I want. Some women are too gentle and to tender to be out in a world where there is too much hate and violence. Some women are stronger and want to fight against the injustice on inhumanity. Whether your saving a life through surgery or through raising a child to grow up and be a good person who cares, your still saving a life. Protecting an innocent baby who can't fight for itself against abuse and neglect isn't just for Social Workers, mother fight against injustice too, just in their own way. And that is a beautiful job that shouldn't be degraded.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a wife or mother . . .thats what some of us are born to do. In each woman there is a special beauty. Her heart especially. Why take the space in your heart that you could have love and fill it with hate? Just because you can see your reflection in the water doesn't mean you can see everyone else's.

The author's comments:
Its time people begin to see that life is life and you can't live everyone's. Let them be the,

Similar Articles


This article has 6 comments.

on Jul. 12 2010 at 2:34 pm
toxic.monkey SILVER, Tashkent, Other
6 articles 0 photos 210 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Homo homini lupus"

i agree with everything you said :) i've nothing against the author's view but i personally believe women should be able to stand their own in life, but if they choose to rely on their husband (or wife :)) I have nothing against them.

on Jun. 15 2010 at 12:54 am
moosemitts SILVER, Butte, Montana
8 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein. ~Walter Wellesley "Red" Smith

There are radical feminists who believe that women are mindless slaves if they want to be wives and mothers, but there aren't very many of them, and I don't think these radicals have very much power in our society. Most feminists (including myself) would agree with you that motherhood is one of the most beautiful and meaningful paths a woman can choose in her life, and that it is perfectly alright for a woman to decide to be a stay-at-home mom. My mom didn't work for almost twenty years while she was raising my sister and me, and she's the strongest feminist I know.

But for centuries, nearly the only option women had was to become wives and mothers and nothing else, which made many women extremely unsatisfied. It is because of the struggle of feminists that young women like us have the freedom to "be ourselves", whether that means having a career, a family, or as many women (The majority, perhaps?) want these days, both. Whatever a woman chooses to do with her life, she should be grateful to feminists who are the reason she has a choice at all.

If a woman wants to be dependent on a man, hey, it's a free country. And I suppose that woman is also free to be powerless should that man leave her or abuse her or die. But I believe a woman ought to be able to depend on herself first. A woman must know how to provide for herself - pay her own bills, earn a salary, get from place to place without relying on her husband to drive her, etc - should her man not be there to provide for her. It is also essential to a woman's self-respect that she have the ability to take care of herself. That doesn't mean she has to have a paying job, but she must be able to get a paying job if she needs to.

As to your saying some women are "manly and rude", I say that we often have double standards about what constitutes as rude for men and for women. What might be called "rude" in a woman might be called "assertive" in a man. As for women being "manly", that's an argument people used against women's suffrage: that if women could vote they'd become manish shrews. Not every woman is a tender little flower. If a woman is interested in things that may be considered "manly", there's nothing wrong with that. Women are unique and complicated, and a woman who likes to play football is no less womanly than a woman who likes to sew.

Also, I don't believe that some women should be sheltered from the "hate and violence" of the world as if they were children. Even gentle, tender women ought to be able to deal with the harsh realities of life and can deal with them just as well as men.

on Mar. 15 2010 at 9:09 pm
Julietbyheart BRONZE, Coalton, Ohio
3 articles 0 photos 15 comments
Yeah, I wasn't being mean or rude. I was just sasying be who your meant to be and know that is enough :) Thanks for the comment.

on Mar. 15 2010 at 9:08 pm
Julietbyheart BRONZE, Coalton, Ohio
3 articles 0 photos 15 comments
I agree. The point I was trying to make was that because you want to be a wife and mother people shouldn't look down on you. I've seen people do that, I don't want to be a feminist but I think its great women can be anything they wish, even if that means old fashioned and fragile or a doctor or whatever. I just wanted to say its all important as long as the woman or girl is who she is meant to be :) Thanks for the comment.

on Mar. 11 2010 at 6:38 pm
magic-esi PLATINUM, Hyde Park, New York
27 articles 0 photos 231 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of the mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one."
"Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the light."

I think you're a little mixed up here. Wanting to be a wife and mother doesn't make you less of a feminist- it makes you more of one. Recognizing that women can have more than one image- not JUST the powerful, strong superhero, but also the gentle, caring mother- is a trait that represents supporting equality. This article makes an extremely important point and I happen to agree with it (even though I don't want to be a mother myself.) You also express this point very well and I actually managed to get through this article without my eye wandering off to my Harry Potter book or skipping over parts, because it grasped my attention.

on Jan. 30 2010 at 6:46 pm
robrobrobin11 BRONZE, Concord, New Hampshire
4 articles 2 photos 25 comments
I love your closing paragraph, it makes you more relatable and less... forceful in the idea that you have the right opinion. The important thing to remember is what feminism is. People give feminist a bad rep. when really all a feminist is, is believing in equal oppurtunity for woman. You never have to exercise these things, or fight for these things but reconize they deserve the oppurtunity. I support choices to be mothers and not career woman. I support the other. I'm a feminist and I don't go out and bash people. Very strong writing and I wish you luck in the future :D