The Other Side to Adoption | Teen Ink

The Other Side to Adoption

April 4, 2013
By KittttyyyKat12345 GOLD, Cannon Falls, Minnesota
KittttyyyKat12345 GOLD, Cannon Falls, Minnesota
10 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
Expect worst, hope for the best


When I go up and start talking to my peers, the discussion of family always comes up. I tell them right away that I, Katherine Hoffman, am adopted and I’m happy about it! I see shock and/or concern in the person’s face. After I see their looks of surprise I say, “What?.” The usual response is, “Are you sad that you're adopted?” My life wouldn’t be the same if I wasn’t adopted. Because of it I have a loving family that is connected to me in different ways, get the happiness of seeing my birth family, and get a different perspective on what family means.

In Los Angeles Times, according to research children who are in open adoptions seem to be more adjusted in their lives and overall more happy. To be in an open adoption it means that the person is able to see their birth parents or parent at the times the adoptive parents set up for them. I know that if I wasn’t in an open adoption that I would always wonder why I was. Now knowing who my birth family is, I have a greater perspective of who I am. In an article from Psychology Today by Abbie Goldberg, it was said that people who are in closed adoptions feel as if they will be disowned any second.

Lucky enough for me I haven’t been disowned. I have a loving family that I’m grateful to be in. When my parents told me I was adopted (I don’t even remember when), I always used to just think I see this woman once a month and we get pizza together. Getting to know my birth mother along with my birth grandma and cousins, I began to think of them as immediate family. I wasn’t mature enough to realize it then, but now I know that my parents let me get to know them out of love. After thinking this through for a while I started to wonder how two people can have so much love for their kids to be able to share them in a way.

To be an adoptive parent they have to be one of the most loving human beings there is in the world. It doesn’t make a difference to me if I someone had adoptive or biological parents, they still love their kids the same . It has been proven that adoptive parents are more likely to read their children and give their full attention compared to biological parents, according to America’s Adoption Agency. The America’s Adoption Agency homepage also stated that adopted parents tend to be the ones that are always working at the children’s fundraisers and come to sport events every chance they can. My parents are also like this not only for me, but for the rest of my brothers who are also adopted.

My brother Nick and I were both in foster homes in early infancy. My mom adopted us both from Catholic Charities, so we ended up in the same foster home (not the same time). Catholic Charities has been in the U.S for 100 years helping in human services. “The people who took care of us there”, quotes my mom, “loved us just like grandkids.” My mom knows this, because she said it was hard for them to let us go. The whole world seems to think being in a foster home is a dreadful, terrible thing, but it’s the reason why I got adopted in the first place. Along with having something in common with Nick, I also have something special in common with my brother Matthew.

My brother Matt and I have the same birth mother. When my mom first told me that our family was getting a new member I was not very happy considering I wasn’t going to be the baby of the family any more. I went from being the little girl who could get away with anything for being cute, until I was forced to be somewhat responsible. Even though I wasn’t happy a decade ago, I am now. I am glad that Matthew is in our family, not only because he shares the same birth mother as me, but because I know that in the future it will keep the bond between us.

Peter and I share a very different bond, we weren’t in the same foster home together and were not biologically related, but we have a connection. Although were not biologically related, we have the same kind of personality. We both wake up in the morning and everyday we find a way to fight. Our temperament styles are quite the same, this is why we fight. Although we fight at the end of the day I know I can say that I’m glad he’s my brother. No,we don’t look the same and were not from the same place, but that really doesn’t make a difference to me.
It doesn’t really matter that we are all from different places and have very different personalities. What really matters is, is the one thing that brings us all together. So the next time people ask me,”Are you depressed, because you're adopted?”, I will say ,”No I’m not.” I have an open adoption that allows me to see my birth mother. There’s three brothers who all have some kind of connection to me. And most of all adoption has shown me that family isn’t about where you came from or even who you came from. It’s about love that is given unconditionally.


The author's comments:
I'm adopted and it's who I am!

Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 0 comments.