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So close . . . yet so far
He was so close. Why wasn't he touching me? Why wasn't he looking at me? Why was he so tense by my side? I didn't understand. Was it me? Was I just not enough?
His dirty blond hair looked shiny in the sunlight. I wanted to touch it. To twirl it in between my fingers. My gaze trailed down to his hands. They were so close. He was so close . . . yet so far away. What was this emotion that I felt? Was it disappointment, sadness? I couldn't tell.
Why were his shoulders so tense?I wanted to reach out and touch his hand that was so close to mine.
We were partners in science class. When it had happened I couldn't believe it. We would sit together every day. Someone so beautiful was going to sit next to me?
I reached for my science book and as I did I looked at him from the corner of my eye, so I could see his reaction. Nothing.
Disappointment ran through me. He didn't even flinch. What did this mean?
"Luce," the teacher called me. My head snapped up and I placed my hands in my lap. I didn't know the answer to the question he had asked me. I just shook my head.
"Detention after school," the teacher said followed with a sigh. Detention?
"That's not fair," David said next to me. This was the first time he's spoken in science since we were put together.
"Excuse me David?" The teacher asked in a warning tone. I looked up at David willing him to and to not stand up for me.
If he did it would mean the world to me, but if he did he would also get in trouble. And I didn't want that.
I shook my head at him. But he ignored me just like every other time.
Without even thinking about it, I reached for his hand. An electric shock ran through me. I almost pulled my hand back it was so sudden. I had touched him. I wanted to smile in pleasure. But then I remembered what situation we were in.
"I said its not fair. All she did was not answer your question," David said.
He had stood up for me, at a teacher. I was the happiest girl in the world.
"Detention for both of you after school. And David I gave her detention because she wasn't paying attention," the teacher said, before starting up the class again.
What should I say?
"T-Thank you," I mumbled. David looked down at our hands and he wrapped his fingers around mine.
I felt myself turn scarlet.
He didn't let go of my hand throughout the rest of the class.
David was sitting behind me. We were together again, but this time we were somewhere unpleasant.
Detention.
The place where you have to stay completely silent and do your homework until the teacher lets you out.
Mom was probably worried about me. I've never gotten detention before, so her guessing where I was, was out of the question. I was without a doubt going to get lectured.
I could hear her now, "Detention? You are such a smart girl. You have a wonderful future ahead of you and your wasting it. Don't get detention again, or else."
I sighed heavily, and I felt a hand tape my shoulder lightly. I looked behind me and David smiled then held his hand out under the desk. Unsure I smiled and took his hand under the desk. His fingers were firm and strong as they wrapped around mine. My heartbeat picked up.
He was touching me.
When the teacher finally came in he told us we could go home, but I didn't want to I wanted to stay by his side.
Did David like me? I shook my head as I walked back to my house. Why would he? I was an awkward clumsy girl that wished for things that would never happen. Was he just trying to be nice to me? I mean all he did was stick up for me. I felt my bag vibrate. I took my cell out of my bag and found that I had a new text message.
'Hey do u want 2 hang out?'
Confused I looked at who it was from. David. I almost stopped in my tracks. He wanted to hang out with me? I hurried to text back.
'Sure what do u want to do?'
I waited for him to answer. DING!
'I don't know yet. When do u want to?'
I smiled brightly as I texted back.
'How 'bout this weekend?'
DING!
'Sure, see u then ;)'
OHMYGOD!!! He winked at me! My heart pounded in my chest.
I didn't know if I could wait till this weekend.
-----------TWO DAYS LATER------------
I laid restlessly in my bed. It was Friday night and I was lying in bed. David and I had our date tomorrow afternoon. I didn't know where we were going and I didn't know what we were going to do. I couldn't understand it I was a nerd and he was a hot guy that asked ME out, why?
I wore glasses and I never got invited to cool school parties, I usually stayed home on Friday night and for the rest of the weekend.
I sighed heavily and turned over onto my stomach. My sheets got tangled up around my legs and I tried to push them off, but they wouldn't budge. I groaned and sat up in bed. I pushed them off my legs and jumped out of bed. As I walked to the bathroom I checked my clock. It was 12:01pm. It was officially the day I went on my date with David. I smiled the whole way to the bathroom. As I walked down the hall I noticed how quiet it was. I guess mom and dad were asleep. I pushed open the bathroom door and went straight to the mirror. My long hair was tangled around my shoulders.
I groaned and tried to untangle the mess of my hair.
After about ten minutes I gave up and went back to lay in bed. Hopefully I would be able to fall asleep soon.
*
*
*
I had fallen asleep after a while, but when I opened my eyes the next morning I looked like hell. I sighed and turned on the shower. I still didn't know what time we were meeting, but I was hoping I'd have enough time to get ready. I ran out of the bathroom and into my bedroom. I took my cell phone out of my bag and pulled up mine and David's past text messages.
'Hey what time do u want 2 meet? & where are we going?'
I waited impatiently for him to answer. After waiting a whole minute to answer I began to tap my foot on the ground. DING!
'At 12pm and I'm not telling u where were going.'
I hurried to answer.
'Then how will I know what 2 wear?'
DING!
'Wear something nice, but not a dress.'
I smiled and ran for the shower. I had wasted enough water.
When I got out of the shower I went to my room to pick out my outfit. I must have tried on everything in my closet, and nothing worked. I grumbled as I walked out of my room. Maybe I had something downstairs on a hanger waiting to go upstairs. I did and it was the perfect outfit.
A white sparkly blouse along with a pair of gray skinny jeans.
PERFECT!
I took it off the hanger and ran up the stairs. When I burst into the room I looked at my clock. 11:00am. I hurried to get ready, I still had to do my hair. After I slipped on the pants and shirt I found a little sweater that would look perfect with the outfit I was wearing. I put it on and put on a pair of black knee-high leather boots.
I went to the bathroom to put my hair up in a ponytail. Once I was done I closed the bathroom door so I could look at myself in the full-length mirror.
I smiled and opened the door back open. I walked downstairs and ate a bar. I didn't know if we were going to lunch or not so I needed something in my stomach.
Then I noticed the house was quiet again.
"MOM, DAD!" I called. But no one answered.
HONK, HONK!!!
I smiled. That had to be David.
"Hey," I said as I got in the car. David was sitting there, he had been watching me walk over to the car. I hoped my blush wasn't that noticeable.
"Hi," he answered.
"So are you going to tell me where we're going?"
He smiled. "You'll see when we get there."
*
*
*
David drove for about an hour before he stopped the car. David got out of the car and I was just about to open my door to get out, but David ran around the car and opened it for me. I smiled at him as I walked out. We were in front of a beautiful restaurant.
All of a sudden I felt under dressed. As David walked up to the restaurant I looked at what he was wearing as I followed him. He was wearing blue jeans and a long V-neck gray T-shirt. I felt myself turn scarlet. David held the door open for me and I turned redder as I walked in. A waitress came up to me.
"Table for two?" She asked. I nodded and she led us to a table. David sat across from me and smiled.
"So what looks good?" I asked.
When we left the restaurant David took me to a little carnival downtown. He had won me a giant stuffed panda bear by playing a game where you had to shoot balloons with a fake gun. I was having a great time and didn’t want it to end. My crush on him was getting stronger and I liked it. The feeling I was feeling was different and happy. I didn’t want it to end. I wanted this day to last for forever.
David dragged me behind the shooting balloon game tent and stared at me, my lips, my hair, everything. Was he going to kiss me? Cause I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted it so much that I think I’d do almost anything to feel his lips on mine. What would it feel like? I was one of those girls’ who still haven’t had their first kiss yet. He was also the first guy that’s taken me out on a date. My first date and my first kiss, all in one night. David moved close to me. Our noses almost touching. I sucked in a breath. My heart exploded when his lips pressed against mine. Electricity roared through me and David pushed me against the tent pole. His kiss was deep and greedy and I smiled against them.
He was kissing me!
This was what I had wished for whenever I walked past him in the halls at school. He was what I wished for, his touch, his lips, him. All of him. I dropped the bear that he had won me and pressed myself against him. I felt his fingers get tangled up in my hair and I put my arms around his neck.
I had seen other couples do this in the mall and at carnivals, now I was one of those girls.
David’s hands ran down my bare shoulders. It wasn’t cold outside so I had taken of my jacket. They slowly ran down my arms. I melted and I could hear my heart beating a million miles an hour. They stopped at my hands that were around his neck then he pined them above my head, against the tent. He broke away and stared down at me. I was panting heavily and it felt like butterflies were flying around in my stomach. He let one of my hands free and took my hair out of it’s ponytail. He was panting too. Could he feel or hear my heartbeat? Could he taste the strawberry lips gloss I had put on before leaving the restaurant? He looked up at me. And in that moment there was nothing I wanted more in the world than for him to kiss me again. He leaned down and kissed my collarbone, I gasped and almost leaned away.
“Hey David?” I breathed.
David moaned a “What?”
“Why did you ask me out?” I asked. Then his teeth were on my earlobe. Where was this going? My eyes widened. Did he ask me out because he thought I was an easy target?
I tried to push him off me, but he pined me against the tent pole tighter. What was he going to do? I was scared. What was going to happen? David looked up at me and I saw a look in his eyes that made me want to scream. David put a hand over my mouth as if he had heard my frightened thoughts.
“Alexandra there’s a hotel a few blocks away,” he said. “You can either choose to come. or I can take you home.”
What? Did I want to? I had just gotten my first kiss and I was on my first date, did I want my first everything all in one night? Had he planned this all along? Had he asked me out because he thought I was an easy target? The questions ran through me head and didn’t stop. But David was impatient. He let go of me and began to walk away.
“Wait where are you going?” I called.
“Home,” he called back. “I don’t hang out with losers.”
That stung, really bad.
“Wait don’t, we’ll go!” I called back desperately. I didn’t want him to leave. I didn’t want to loose him. Even if that meant spending the night with him.
*
*
*
I was pined against the bed with no way out. I couldn’t stop now. I was in my underwear and my bra. My clothes were on the floor next to the bed. David was only wearing pants. He was on top of me, looking down at me. A sly smile was on his face. It was dark but I knew he could see my bright red skin. I gasped as he touched me. His lips trailed up my neck until they reached my lips. I was scared and unsure. What would happen after this? Would he call me? Would he even talk to me. But what he was doing felt so good. I moaned against his lips.
The next thing I knew I wasn’t wearing anything. And neither was he.
I had texted my parents, telling them that I was staying at a friends house. Which was half true, if you thought about it.
-----ONE MONTH LATER———
He hasn’t talked to me since we had ***. And now because of it I’m pregnant. My parents are worried, the baby’s father wont have anything to do with me or the baby. My life has fallen apart and I couldn’t get it back. I couldn’t go back to that one night and tell myself not to go to that hotel with David. And I couldn’t go back to tell myself not to go out with him at all. I probably wouldn’t have listened to myself though. Because I had ignored my judgement when I went to that hotel with him. I regret that night, I regret my crush I had on him, and I regret that decision I made.
Now his child was growing inside me, and he wouldn’t have anything to do with him or her. I was no longer a normal teenager I was going to have to responsible and raise this baby. If it was a girl I’m going to warn her about her father and other guys like him. And if it was a boy I was going to make sure he didn’t turn out like his father.
I was going to work to make sure I raised him/her right.
Even if that meant I had to quite school.
THE END
_____________________________________
Most people make the wrong decision, but you don’t have to be like Alexandra.
A lot of teenagers make Alexandra’s choice and end up pregnant.
They quiet school and their WHOLE lives change.
Some people do ‘it’ and end up okay.
Just remember that its a possibility that you could get pregnant.
Your boyfriend could leave you to raise the the child alone, and you’d be a single mom.
Don’t do drugs, don’t smoke and don’t do ‘it’ without thinking more than once.
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