PS you changed her name from Luce to Alexandra.

So close... Yet so far: Just so you know in advance, I write my comments while I read so they have a tendency to be awfully long. I love all the questions you kick off with. It gives the story a real teenager-y feel, like impatience and anxiety. I feel like its a bit cheesy when you introduce the title so soon in the story, but that's just my opinion. "'Excuse me David?' The teacher asked in a warning tone. I looked up at David willing him to and to not stand up for me." That last sentence is a bit confusing; you might want to clarify it a little bit. Wow, it's surprising he would hold her hand. Maybe it's a friendship thing? Or maybe he's not as heartless as he seems. Aww. Ch 2 - The mom's comment seemed painfully real. Good job. Run-on sentence near the very end, but other than that, I liked it. Ch 3 - How did she already have his number? That's my only concern for this chapter. I would expand more on their emotions. Right now they both seem a little bit like bricks. The wink was a good idea! Ch 4 - Elaborate more with her nerdiness!! Make your characters seem REAL. It's okay to take up space & time talking about them; you want your reader to be able to write a biography on them by the time they're done reading. Should be 12:01 AM instead of PM. PM would be in the middle of the afternoon. "I had wasted enough water" seemed totally out of place. Ch 5 - Describe her anguish in trying to find the perfect outfit. It always takes teenage girls forever to pick one out, so it should for her too. What kind of bar did she eat? Why did you make David honk at the door? That's a little rude. Also, how did he get her address? That's kind of creepy. Ch 6 - I would suggest adding more gestures when they talk. For example, instead of him just saying "you'll see," say he winked or raised his eyebrows or squeezed her hand. Make the audience's heart wrench! That chapter kind of ended suddenly. Maybe add some transition words to wrap it up nicely. Ch 7 - I love the description for their kiss, perfect. Wow, this is getting... Wow. You asked "did he ask me out because he thought I was an easy target?" twice. That's a little repetitive. Word it a different way. Omg, he doesn't hang out with losers. Nice drama! I like it. Stop using the word "pined." I know you can think of something else. Whoa, wow, she's pregnant. Make it a bigger deal. I know a lot of people get preg nowadays, but for her? A nerdy girl who's never been on a date? It's a big deal. Overall, incredible message. It really shows how some people take advantage of others. Make sure to remember, though, that girls do this to guys too, and sometimes the scars are worse. Anyway, great powerful message. I really enjoyed reading.

Wow. I like your book so much. This happened to my mom then i was born now he isn't a part of my life anymore. This also haopened my oldest cousin. The message you are sending to your readers is great. Especially since there is a lot of peer preasure now a-days.

that's a really good book, i love it!

it sends a very strong, clear and relavant message to the teenagers of today. I love stories that do that.

good job! and keep writing! <3

Thanks!!! :D

Your the first person to comment on my stuff. I have more coming in a few days :)