Today is the big day. I’m starting my first day of my Sophomore year at a brand new school. I’ve gone to nine different schools, and I finally get to stay at this one and graduate here. I’m actually really excited! I’m taking great classes this semester, I’m managing the boy’s football team, and I auditioned for the school choir and made it! This will be a great place to end my last three years in school.
My long, freshly dyed, black hair is straightened to perfection, my signature cat-eye eyeliner looks flawless, and my white dress and gold sandals match nicely. All I have left to do is pop in my brown contacts and I will be ready to go!
The traffic on the way to school was a mess. By the time I finally parked my car and found my class, I was already seven minutes late.
“Name please?” The teacher rudely asks as soon as I step through the door.
I look over to a class full of blank stares and sheepishly respond, “Calista Young.”
“Your seat is over there.” He points to a desk in the back of the classroom, “and hey, thanks for interrupting my class on the first day of school.”
I instantly begin to feel my cheeks heat up and I quickly shuffle to my seat.
Good way to start the day, Calista.
The day went by pretty quickly, and other than that incident this morning, I really enjoyed it. Choir was my favorite part. The teacher was hilarious and I made my first friend in that class. Her name is Marie, and she is also the girl I will be managing football with, which worked out pretty nicely.
Football practice is right after school for two hours. All Marie and I have to do is fill up water bottles and give them to the guys when they need them. As a bonus, we also get to flirt with them all! That will definitely be the best part, even though I am not allowed to date... given my situation.
Not two minutes into practice, I am already being hit on.
“Doesn’t New Girl look like Cleopatra?” One mystery boy asks.
“For real. She’s hot though,” another says and winks at me. Ew. If only he were cuter.
Practice went by quickly. Our job is easy and Marie and I had fun. I’m definitely going to look forward to this everyday.
As Marie and I load up our water equipment, a few of the players surround us.
“Hi guys! I’m Calista. What are your names?” I ask.
The boys go down the row, telling me their names and flashing me with cute smiles. Then, there is the mystery boy from earlier.
“I’m Jackson,” he mumbles, and I can’t understand him.
“Sorry, what?” I say.
“I’m Jackson!” He shouts in my face.
Wow. Rude much? I roll my eyes and turn away from him.
Marie and I pack up our things and go inside. For some reason though, I can’t stop thinking about that rude, mystery boy.

The next couple of weeks with that rude boy were uneventful. I actually never really paid much attention to him at practice. He was always there after practice, trying to talk to me, but I never really gave him the time of day. I was always “too busy” pretending to be talking and laughing with the new guys Marie and I had befriended.
Rude boy was cute though, and being as shy and awkward as I was, I couldn’t talk to him. No words would come out. Today was different though.
We were at the Varsity football game. I was with a big group of my friends, and he was with a group of his. He and his friends came over to talk to us for a while, but when they all left, he stayed, and was sort of hovering around me. So, I talked to him.
“Hi! It’s Jackson, right?” I smiled.
“Yeah.”
“How could I forget? You basically screamed it at me!”
He laughed.
And that was all it took. I never knew, in that moment, how much I could fall in love with that boy, or how much he would change my world.
We hung out together all night, joking and laughing a lot. At one point, a close friend of mine, named Hayley, pushed him into me.
“You guys would make such a cute couple!” She yelled.
Obviously, I was embarrassed. I felt my face turn bright red, but that is probably just because I agreed with her and did not want Jackson to know.
Jackson just laughed and said, “you have weird friends.”
Later that night, after the game, I heard my phone go off.
Friend request from Jackson Clark.
I smiled to myself and accepted it right away, instantly receiving a message from him in return.
“Hey :),” it read.

After four months of constantly texting each other, worrying if he liked me back, fighting for his attention from other girls, going on a double date and holding hands, and quickly falling for him, I finally asked Jackson to the school dance.
He agreed to go, even though he hates dances, and I am so glad that he did.

Today, the calendar marks January 25, which means tonight is that dance with Jackson.
I’ve decided to give Jackson one more chance. We’ve been somewhat of an item since September, and we both really like each other, but I am not the only one he has his eyes on, and I am tired of fighting so hard to be the only girl he notices. Technically, I am not allowed to date, but, there is something about him that is forcing me to make an exception just for him. My advisor does not need to know. Jackson has talked about making us official before, but he hasn’t yet, and tonight is his last chance before I give up.
I spend all day getting ready. Most girls love this sort of thing. They love dressing up and curling their hair and putting on sparkly makeup, but, most of those girls have their mom with them to do that all with. That is an experience I will always wish I had, but never will.
The day goes by slowly, and I am a mess of emotions. I’m mostly sad about my mom; but also, I’m excited for tonight, and extremely nervous. I’m nervous I will have to give up on him, or fall even more for him without him feeling the same way. I’m nervous to eat in front of him, and to trip in my high heels. I'm nervous to say the wrong thing. I am basically just nervous to see him in general.
It is now 5:47, and Jackson is supposed to be here at six. I take one last look at myself in the mirror. I have somehow managed to get my abundance of hair into a cute, curly bun. My makeup is a lot darker than usual, and of course, is very sparkly. My lips are painted a bright red, which adds some class to my style. My dress is navy blue, lace, and sparkly, and I absolutely love it. For once, I like the way I look. It brings me the confidence I am going to need for tonight, and puts me in a cheery mood.
The doorbell rings right at six. Instantly, butterflies flood my stomach. He’s here!
I open the door to see him dressed in a navy blue shirt, to match my dress. He is wearing a black tie, nice black pants, and oh my gosh, he looks adorable!
What’s even cuter is, when I look at his face, he starts to blush.
“You look amazing!” He says with a shy smile.
“You too!” I shyly respond. “Come on in!”
He grabs my hand, silently telling me to hold it out for him to put the corsage on.
The flower is beautiful. It is big and white, surrounded by blue gems and lace. It’s perfect.
Our shy personalities were getting the better of us, as we stood still in my living room, in a painful awkward silence.
Finally, Jackson broke that silence. “Well, are you ready to go?”
I nod and smile. He follows me out the door, but when we begin to approach his car, he runs up in front of me.
“What are you doing?” I laugh.
He doesn’t respond. Instead, he stops on the left side of his car and opens the door for me, causing me to blush, of course.
“Why, thank you!” I slide in and he shuts the door behind me.
How cute! He’s being such a gentleman, and is already giving me the perfect night.
The whole drive to the restaurant is filled with talk about movies, and before I know it, we are there.
He made reservations at my favorite restaurant, which was a really sweet thing for him to do.
When we sit down and the waitress comes to ask us what we want to eat, I am too shy to order my favorite meal here. It is big. Messy quesadillas and salsa all over my face and dress is so far from attractive.
Jackson senses my conflict with ordering and eating in front of him, and asks, “would you like to share an order of cheese fries with me?”
I agree, and he orders it for us. When the food arrives, we chow down. For dessert, we share a magical lava cake.
Dinner was nice. We got along perfect; he was so easy to talk to and he made me laugh a lot. I know my mom would love him if she were here.
“Ready to dance like a couple of idiots?” He jokes as we leave the restaurant parking lot.

The dance is lame: like really, really lame. There are little decorations: just some boring Christmas lights sloppily thrown on the wall. Then there is a crowd of people, creepily grinding up against their dates to some horrible rap song.
Jackson notices the disgust on my face, “it is so gross, right? Don’t worry. I won’t make you dance like that, I am not into that stuff either.”
Thank god.
We walk over to the benches, which are placed along the wall. He slaps the seat twice, motioning for me to sit next to him. For about 45 minutes, we laugh at all those couples making fools of themselves on the dance floor.
I notice Jackson staring at me.
“What?” I giggle.
“Do you wear contacts? Like brown ones?” He asks. “I hope so, because if not, your eye is rolling away.”
I quickly fix my eye as he laughs at his stupid joke. He can’t know my secret.
“Not that it really matters, but you don’t need to wear contacts. I am sure your eyes are beautiful the way they are,” he says. “Anyway, wanna get out of here? We could go to your house and watch a movie or something.”
“I can’t. My dad isn’t home. I’m not allowed to have anyone over without him there.”
“What about your mom?”
My heart drops.
“I-” I don’t know what to say. “Uh, I don’t have a mom anymore. She died a few years ago.”
He looks at me in the saddest way possible. “If you don’t mind me asking, how did she die?”
“Cancer,” I lie.
“Oh.”
I feel like crying.
“Well, how about we go to my house to watch movies then?”
I smile and nod. I am so relieved he didn’t ask anymore questions. I wouldn’t have been able to answer them.

When we get to his house, he leads me to the living room. His house smells just like him, and for some reason, it comforts me.
“I’m gonna go pop some popcorn for us!” Jackson tells me as he leaves the room.
His house is nice. Frames blanket the walls with pictures of his family and happy memories. I am glad he has that. I would never wish my situation on anybody, not even my worst enemy. My dad spends the majority of his time at a bar, drinking his pain away. After my mom died, he fell apart when I needed him the most, and he was all I had left. I don’t think I will ever forgive him for that.
“How does a scary movie sound?” Jackson asks. I didn’t even notice him come back into the room.
“Good.”
He sets up some cheesy murder movie, which hits a little too close to home, but I’ve put on such a strong facade for so long, I can do it for one more night.
Butterflies tickle my stomach the moment he sits down right next to me and curls his arm around my shoulder.
The movie is actually scarier than I expected, and everytime I jump or cover my eyes, he holds me tighter.
It is 11:53 when I check my phone. I am going to have to leave as soon as this movie is over. My curfew is midnight, but tonight has been so amazing, I don’t care if I am late.
We are both so into the movie, that we haven’t said a word since it started.
I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pull it back out and see that I have a text... from Jackson.
I look up at him confused, and he is already looking at me, smiling.
I open the text, and it reads, “will you go out with me? :)”
Oh. My. Gosh!
I give him the biggest smile ever and nod yes. I can’t believe that it has finally happened!
The movie ends, and Jackson walks me to his car to take me home.
We talk the whole way home, and all I can think about is how excited I am. He is my first boyfriend and he has been so incredible tonight. I don’t think I have stopped smiling since he asked me out. Hopefully my advisor doesn’t find out about him and ruin everything. I would be heartbroken.
We are at my house too soon, which means the best night I’ve ever had is almost over.
He gets out of the car and walks over to open the door for me again. When I step out, he pulls me in for a hug; the most comforting hug I have ever had.
“Thank you for everything tonight, Jackson.”
“Anything for you,” he cheesily, but sweetly responds.
He walks me to my front door and gives me another hug goodnight.
When I step inside and shut the door, I lean up against the wall and slide down to the floor. I still can’t stop smiling. I whip my phone out to text all of my friends about tonight.
For once, I am really, truly, happy.

For the last month, Jackson and I have been together constantly. Everyday after school, we go to the library to do homework. When we are done, we pick out a movie and go to his house to watch it. Our favorite thing to do together is watch movies; in fact, that is basically all we do together. When we aren’t together, we are either texting or talking on the phone.
I am standing by my locker when Jackson approaches me.
“Hey, beautiful,” he smiles.
I reach up for a hug.
“Hey!”
“I have a question for you.”
“Okay...”
I hate when people do that, I am always afraid it is going to be something bad.
“This may be too soon for you, but my parents and I are going up to the mountains this Thursday for a long weekend ski trip. Would your dad mind you coming along?”
“I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.” I say.
This is so exciting! I get to spend four days with Jackson skiing and having fun. It sounds like a blast!
“Cool. I will text you more details tonight.”
“Sounds good!”
He grabs my hand and walks me to class.
The only thing I can think about all day long is our weekend getaway. I even was called out a few times in class for daydreaming about.
Jackson makes me happy. I have needed someone like him since my mom died. He is so good to me and never treats me improperly. I love that about him.

Thursday comes slowly, but when it has finally arrived, I am bouncing off the walls with excitement.
I woke up early to pack myself a bag of all the things Jackson told me to bring. I have never been skiing before, I have never even lived anywhere near the mountains until I came to Colorado, so I did not exactly know what to pack.
Jackson’s family picks me up at seven, and then we begin our long, four hour journey to the ski resort.
The whole ride, Jackson and I share headphones, taking turns picking the song, and playing silly games like I-Spy.
Before I know it, we have arrived to the snowy, beautiful town of Aspen.
Their cabin is big and lovely. It is decorated in warm colors, and has a huge hot tub on the back porch. I am going to love this place.
“We will only have about half of the day to ski at this point, but since you’ve never skied before, it will be a perfect time for Jackson to teach you how. That way, we can all ski together tomorrow,” Jackson’s mom, Mary Ann, tells me.
“Sounds good!” I politely say back.
“Skiing is not as easy as it looks. You’ll be tired and sore, which means the hot tub will be a good use to us! Why don’t you take your things to your room? It’s the third door on the left,” she points.
“Thank you.”
I walk in to find an amazing room. I have a big, fluffy bed with the softest blankets on it. My bed faces a huge window, which will allow me to wake up looking at the beautiful mountains. There is a bathroom connected to my room, just for me. Thank God, because I was so worried about sharing a bathroom with Jackson.
As if on que, Jackson knocks on my door.
“Hey, dress warm. We are leaving in ten.”
He gives me a cute smile before heading out.

By the time we get dressed, rent our skis, and ride up to the top of the mountain, Jackson only has about four hours to teach me how to ski.
“Let’s start slow,” he tells me, “point the tip of your skis into a sort of... pizza wedge.”
I do as he says.
“That’s it. Now, just give yourself a little push with your poles, and you’re good to go. If you want to go slower, make a bigger wedge, and if you want to go faster, straighten out your skis.”
I push off, and I am going.
“Woo! This is awesome!” I yell, right before I face plant into the snow.
“It’s alright, babe. You’ll get the hang of it. Let’s try again!”
Jackson helps me up and plants a kiss on my cheek.
The next four hours are consumed with falls and screams, both done by me. Eventually, I get the hang of it though, and it is really a lot of fun. By the time the slopes are closing, Jackson and I are racing each other down the mountain. I even won one of the races, which I am super proud of, of course.
We meet up with his parents at a cozy restaurant near the bottom of the mountain. Jackson orders me an amazing hot chocolate, and we all huddle around the fireplace.
For hours, his parents tell me stories about Jackson’s childhood, family vacations, and some of their favorite memories together. I love to hear about it all. I love to see how happy it makes them all to laugh and talk about their lives together.
Being with them makes me feel like I have a family. I feel like I am at home with them.

The next day, I wake up to Jackson sitting on top of me, with a plate full of food in his hands.
“Good morning Calista, your hair looks ravishing,” he jokes.
“Why, thank you!” I giggle back and take the plate from him.
“Hungry?” He asks me.
I nod, shoving a mouthful of syrupy pancakes into my face.
“So listen, my parents said we could have the day to ourselves. I was thinking, let’s spend the first half of the day skiing. We will stop around noon and go get a bite to eat at this amazing restaurant. There is a lake down the road from here that is perfect for ice skating. And when we are done, we will come back here and enjoy the hot tub. How does that sound?”
“It sounds perfect!”
“Good. Be ready in an hour?”
I nod again, and he leaves the room.
Today is going to be amazing.

By the time I was ready, Jackson had already packed our skis in the car and was waiting for me outside. Of course, I was running late, like always.
“I’ve been out here for like an hour!” He dramatically cries.
“Sorry!” I cry back and hop into the car.
Prepare yourself for the best day of your life.”
He smiles at me, and then we were on our way.
Skiing was fun, and we have both come to the conclusion that I am a better skier than he is.
“You’re a natural!” He repeatedly told me.
Not to brag or anything, but Jackson fell like ten times, I didn’t fall once. Therefore, his compliment is true.
“I know I am,” I replied c***ily each time.
When noon came around, we walked back to the car to put our ski gear away.
“The restaurant I am taking you to is so good. It’s just simple junk foods but a trip here is incomplete without going there.”
I smiled as I listened to him ramble on about this place. One of my favorite things about Jackson is the way he talks about things he loves, even if it is just a restaurant. Sometimes, I wonder if he ever talks about me like that.
“It’s a nice day.” he tells me, “how about we walk to the restaurant instead of drive? It isn’t too far away from here, only a couple of blocks.”
“Okay!”
He takes a hold of my hand, and together we begin our small journey to the restaurant.
“I am so open with you about everything, but you don’t talk about yourself much. Why?” He randomly asks.
“I don’t know. I don’t have much to tell.”
“Hmm. I don’t believe that. Where were you born?”
“A small town in Kansas. I lived there until I was eight.”
“Then what?”
“Well, after my mom died, my dad and I moved a lot... he wanted to get away from Kansas,” I lie. I did move a lot, but not because of my dad.
“Where did you go next?”
“I have lived in five different states since then. We went to Texas next. I went to three different schools there in a matter of two years. Then, we went to Florida, New York, Ohio, and now I am here, in Colorado.”
“Are you going to leave again?”
“No, I get to stay until I graduate.”
“Why do you get to stay here?”
I don’t have an excuse this time. It’s not like I can tell him that my mom’s murderer has been watching and following me all this time. I was told that h e is finally caught though,that he is in jail. That is why I get to stay.
“My dad is finally happy here,” I lie again. I hate lying to him.
“Good. That means I won’t have to lose you.”
God, I love him.
“Here we are!” He shouts with joy.
It's cute and tiny. It looks like a cabin on the outside, but when you walk inside, it looks like a fifties diner.
When we sit down, the waitress is instantly at our table, asking for our order.
“They make these big, gooey grilled cheese sandwiches served with tomato soup. I get it everytime I come. I think you would love it.”
He turns to the waitress and orders two.
He was right. I loved the food. It was warm and cheesy and magical.
All throughout lunch, Jackson and I playfully throw bites of food at each other and shared stupid jokes. He had me laughing so hard I was crying, and people were staring at me with worried faces; which only made me laugh harder of course. It was so much fun.
We spent almost three hours at that restaurant. By the time we got back to the car, arrived at the ice skating rink, and rented our skates, it was half past five.
“I’ve never ice skated before!” I tell him.
“Don’t worry, if it is anything like skiing for you, you’ll do fine!”
He was so wrong.
As soon as I stepped onto the ice, I was on my butt, laughing at myself.
“Or not,” he smirked at me and skated away.
“Shut up!” I yelled.
I tried to get up to chase after him, only to fall right back on my butt.
Jackson laughed again.
“I think I will just stay here,’ I said dramatically.
He sympathized me with an “awh,” and skated back over to me.
“Grab my hand!”
I obliged, and intertwined my fingers in his. He helped me up, got me stable, and taught me how to ice skate.
At one point, I turned and said, “don’t let go.” I meant more than one thing by that.
“I never will,” he said.
It was getting dark by the time we got back to the cabin. His parents were gone, and left a note for us that read:
Out to dinner. Be back soon. XOXO.
“Well, it has been quite the long day. Ready to relax in the hot tub?”
I nodded, “let me just go change into my swimsuit real quick!”
We did not stay in the hot tub for long, we were both so tired.
“Let me walk you to your room.”
“Thank you for everything today Jackson! It was seriously so much fun! I loved every minute of it.”
I gave him a long hug.
“Goodnight!” I said as I turned to open my door.
“Calista, wait.”
I turned back around.
“I love you,” he said.
I stood up on my tippy toes to give him a kiss.
“I love you.”

The weekend went by way too fast, and I loved every minute of it. Not only did I become really close to Jackson, but I became close to his parents too. I forgot what it was like to have a family, and spending time with them gave me the reminder I have been longing for for years.
It is bittersweet. As much as I loved spending time with them and living a normal life for a few days, I envied Jackson for having a happiness I will never be able to find elsewhere.
Every memory they shared was just a sick reminder that my mom was murdered and my dad is an alcoholic and that I have spent the last eight years in the Witness Protection Program. My childhood memories consist of changing my appearance and name over and over and constantly living in the fear that my mother’s killer will find me again.
Sunday night, I came home from my perfect vacation to my horrible father, who of course, was drunk.
“Calista Young, where the hell have you been?” He shouted at me.
This was when everything went downhill.
“Dad, you knew I was with Jackson, up in Aspen skiing! Remember? You told me it was okay!”
“Who is Jackson?”
“He is my friend from school, you have met him so many times!”
“You were away with a boy... for four days? Doing what?”
Since when did he even care what I was doing?
He was getting closer and closer to me.
“I already told you! We were skiing!”
“Did you sleep with him?”
What?! I would never do anything that stupid! He knows that!
He didn’t even give me time to answer. Instead, he raised his beer bottle and smashed it against my cheek bone.
“Why did you do that?!” I screamed.
“Get out of here! I can’t stand to look at you, you are disgusting!”
I ran to my bathroom, crying, and slammed the door behind me.
My dad has never hurt me before. He has never acted this way before. He has never even been angry with me. What happened to him?
In the mirror, I saw blood dripping down my cheek. My eye was swollen, throbbing, and bruising.
As I was cleaning up, I heard the front door slam. There goes my poor excuse for a father. Thank God.
By the time my face stopped bleeding, I just wanted to go to bed. There was no way I was going to school like this.
I texted Jackson, “not feeling too well, going to take a few days off from school. Think it’s the flu.”
That sounded like a terrible lie, but I know Jackson would never question it. Not a minute later, he responded with a simple, “feel better baby.”
I guess that settles things for now. My face will begin to heal within a few days, I hope, and by then, I can cover things up with makeup and go to school.
Or so I thought.

The next two weeks consisted of my dad coming home, raging drunk, and taking his pain and anger out on me, physically.
Other than the bruises, my father’s abuse did not affect me. I was numb to pain by this point in my life.
My absence from school started to draw attention though.
Jackson finally got fed up with not hearing from me, and decided to make an appearance on my front doorstep to confront me about it.
“What is your deal lately, Cal-”
Then he saw the bruises.
“Oh my God! What has happened to you?!”
I had to explain my father’s issues to him, which was mortifying because he had the perfect family, and I did not.
“Jeez, Calista. I knew your dad was an alcoholic, it is obvious, but I never saw him as abusive!”
“That’s because he never was. I saw something snap in him the first night he hit me. That’s when it all changed. Now he won’t stop. He comes home, attacks me, and leaves again. I have been hiding but he always seems to find me.”
“I wish I had come sooner! We need to get you out of this house! You can’t continue living here with him!”
“There is nothing I can do, Jackson.”
“You can call the police! That is what you can do! If you don’t, I will!”
“No!” He doesn’t know that if he does call the police, I will have to leave again, and completely start over with a whole new life... again.
“Just trust me,” I tell him.
“Okay.”
“Promise me you won’t do anything.”
“I promise.”

A week went by without any disturbances. Basically because my dad did not come home at all. It was so relieving.
Jackson is coming over today to help me with all my makeup work. I am extremely behind and he said it will be the perfect opportunity to fit in a visit with each other and get all caught up.
It was exactly the opposite of a perfect day though.
My dad come home about an hour into Jackson’s visit, and big surprise: he was drunk.
“Look at my baby girl, Kali Cooper, alone with a boy! Wouldn’t your advisor disapprove?” He slurred.
Jackson looked at me confused, “Kali Cooper? Why do you have an advisor?”
I rushed to find words. “I don’t know what he is talking about. He is just drunk.”
“Oh, don’t tell me the poor boy doesn’t know!”
“Know what?” Jackson was clearly uncomfortable.
“Dad, stop. Are you hungry? I can make you something to eat,” I tried to distract my dad from saying anything else.
Jackson butted in, “Calista? Stop what? What are you hiding from me?”
“Nothing. I am not hiding anything.”
My dad threw himself down onto the couch, “you brats are hurting my head. Get the hell out of my house.”
He is not making any sense. What is he trying to do to me?
I push Jackson out the door and take him to the driveway to try and clear things up, but I don’t know where to start.
“We need to get you out of this house Calista. This is not a safe place for you to live!”
“No! I have to stay!”
“Why?! Just tell me why!”
“Because Jackson! I just have to!”
“Why are you keeping things from me?!”
“I’m not! I just can’t leave!”
I am choking on tears at this point, but I don’t know why.
“Well you can’t stay here either Calista.”
“I have to!”
“No! I am tired of this!”
“You don’t think I am tired, Jackson?”
He ignores me.
“Your dad is abusive. I am calling the police.”
“Jackson! Please don’t!”
He pulls out his phone and quickly dials 911. I jumped up to stop him but he pushed me back, without a care.
“Yeah, I’d like to report a case of child abuse,” he said in the phone.
He continued to talk into the phone as I sat on the cold cement, crying.
He hung up, turned to me, and said, “I’m sorry. I just had to.”
Then he left. He just climbed into his car, and left.
I knew that was it between Jackson and I.
I guess I had too much baggage. Jackson did not know the real me, he deserved a girl who could give him everything, and I couldn’t. My life will never be normal. I live a life of secrets and nobody deserves to be with someone like me.
Jackson thought he was helping me. He wasn’t.
That was the last time I saw him, for a very long time.

Almost an hour later, two police officers showed up to my house. I was still sitting on my driveway... broken because the boy I loved, left.
The police talked to me first. I couldn’t hide anymore, so I told them everything. I told them my situation and what has been going on with my dad.
“We are sorry, honey. This will all be over soon.”
I hated their sympathy. I hated Jackson for leaving. I hated my dad for doing this to me. I hated everything. I hated my life.
I watched my dad walk out in handcuffs that night. I saw him get shoved into a cop car and taken away.
I never saw or spoke to my dad again after that night.
My advisor and social services were called and showed up next.
I was taken into foster care. Some strange family hours away from my home took me in and gave me everything a child could ever want. I hated them too though.
They weren’t my silly mom and my sober dad. They tried so hard to replace them, but they couldn’t.
They ended up adopting me. It wasn’t enough for me to love them though. I wasn’t capable of loving anymore.
I went into a depression. I locked myself in my big room, plugged headphones into my ears, tucked myself under the covers, and hid from the world.
I was numb.

I never graduated high school. I dropped out at seventeen and turned to alcohol, just like my father did.
At eighteen, I realized I didn’t want to be just like him. I didn’t want to be like the man who ruined me; who destroyed me. I hated that man. I quit right away and I haven’t touched a drink since.
I turned my drinking addiction into a reading addiction. I read every classic I could think of. They helped me heal.
At nineteen, I completely blocked out my past. I no longer thought about it. I took on a job at the local grocery store, quickly moving my way up to the manage position. I made friends and saved up most of the money I earned. I enjoyed working.
At twenty, I ran into Jackson at a bookstore about an hour away from my house. I was looking for a book I had been dying to read.
“Calista?”
I turned, got once glance at him, and broke down.
He embraced me. I told him everything. I told him about my mom, the program, and life after him.
We sat on the floor right where we had been standing and talked until the bookstore closed.
He apologized for breaking my heart when I was sixteen.
We talked everyday after that.
At twenty one, Jackson moved into my apartment and he proposed to me. We decided to spend a year traveling through Europe before we married.
At twenty two, Jackson and I got married. I lost him seven months later to cancer. I was five months pregnant.
I am twenty three now. My baby is due in two months. I have decided to move from the cute apartment I shared with Jackson. Everyday I struggle to be there without him. I can no longer bare the pain.

Today is moving day. I left everything we owned behind, except out box of pictures and Jackson’s favorite hoodie.
I wanted to start fresh and prepare for my baby girl to come into this world.
I unlock the door to my new apartment, toss the small amount of bags I have onto the floor, and sulk to my newly bought couch.
I plop down, close my eyes, and let out a long breath.
“I’ve been waiting for this moment for fifteen years.”
My eyes fly open.
There, against the wall across from me, stood my mother’s killer.