I had my conversation with Jane yesterday, leaving me with ample time to collect my thoughts. During our conversation, Jane focused almost exclusively on aspects of her left-handedness and began to explain why she had mentioned it to her mother prior to her referral. At first, while the examples she provided were undoubtedly frustrating, they did not bear the signs that would provide a clearer answer as to why Jane was experiencing such profound feelings of self-doubt. 

I took notes on what Jane discussed with me during our session; the most important written below: 

Jane exhibits signs of self-criticism and irritation when performing everyday tasks. 
When she speaks, Jane tends to compare herself with her friends and believes she is uncoordinated and clumsy. [2]

Significant Experiences: 

-Jane was cutting paper with right-handed scissors when her hand slipped and ripped her sheet in half; her friends laughed at her and she felt a significant blow of confidence. [3]

-Jane was writing in her notebook and showed her teacher her work; her teacher yelled at her for all the smudges on the paper, quoting, “I can’t even read this.” Specifically, the “hook” (flat, uncomfortable bend that causes her hand to stick to the paper when writing), which she was taught to write with, is what smudges her handwriting. [4]

-Jane was baking and needed to use a measuring cup. However, when switching to the customary units (customary units are usually written directly opposite to how she would be holding the cup in her left hand), her hand slipped and she ended up breaking the cup.

-Throughout her school years, Jane’s classmates often made jokes about Jane’s left-handedness, saying that she was “weird” or a “freak of nature.”

-Jane worked on a project about left-handedness, and she learned about how left-handed people were historically seen as second-class citizens and klutzes, starting in Ancient Rome, which is also where the terms “sinister” and “sinistrality” emerged from, literally meaning “on the left side” in Latin. When she presented it, Jane’s class excluded her for the rest of the year because they were easily influenced by what they learned in the project. [5]

-Jane had mentioned her frustration with her handedness to a friend; her friend doubted that handedness could make her life harder. [6]

Upon finishing these notes, I noticed that Jane appeared to solely mention frustrating scenarios that were affected by her handedness, allowing me to reasonably infer that she was feeling different, at least in part, due to her handedness. I also noticed that many of the examples she gave were specific experiences in the classroom, leading me to consider whether left-handed students do not receive adequate assistance in school, since education and upbringing are focused on right-handed people (scissors, desks, etc.) [7]

Regardless, this was the first time I had ever experienced a case in which a patient’s handedness caused them to perceive themselves as inferior. This only made me more curious and determined to help Jane.

Footnotes: 

[2] “Some said that I was clumsy and uncoordinated; but of course, in a world made for the right-hander you are likely to be clumsy” (Shankar).
[3] “Who wouldn’t feel a blow to confidence, and, in time, self-esteem? All of this can be magnified in childhood, particularly when your peers, who have been given the same tools to work with, appear to be so effortlessly competent” (Healy 6-7).
[4] “As a left-handed child in Independence, Missouri in 1928-30, I was taught to write with a hook in my left wrist. While I forced myself to relearn without the hook in high school, I’ve stayed aware of the contortions that left-handed children are still being forced to use in writing over 50 years later” (Ramsey 504).
[5] “This history of treating ‘left handers’ as second class citizens and klutzes goes back to biblical and Roman times- think of sinister and sinistrality” (Ramsey 504).
[6] “Is life much harder for lefties? Few people think so, but a significant portion of the population...do think that life is a little harder for them.” (Backus).
[7] “Unfortunately children with left-handedness do not receive adequate assistance in school, since education and upbringing are focused on right-handed people. It is also shown that «traditional» retraining in early childhood can lead to distress, which has a negative impact on the children” (Rustambek 623).

While reviewing my notes, I noticed that Jane’s case was strikingly similar to one of my other patients who had felt excluded from her community. I had a patient named Anna, a woman who had a job in a male-dominated field. She would consistently mention doubting her ability due to the internalized sexism she would experience from her male co-workers, as there were perceptions in her work that men are more suited to the 'masculine professions' because they have masculine capital, i.e. stereotypically masculine skills and capacities and this diminished her self-confidence in these areas. [8] 

During one of our sessions, she voiced her frustration in a way that was profound and memorable to me, where she explained; “No matter what I do, it always feels like something’s wrong with me. There has to be something wrong with me, right? If I'm treated so differently? If they’re always excluding me?” As a woman myself, I empathized with her in facing the challenges of being marginalized and alienated.

 Her quote was almost identical to what Jane had mentioned to me in one of our sessions. In Anna’s case, her self-doubt clearly stemmed from her ostracization from the majority group of men in her field, the traditionally more “dominant” and “competent” group, due to historical stereotypes, as well as her role as a woman in that situation, a historically less competent group. [9]

Considering Jane’s situation, I can draw many parallels to Anna’s case as well. Being left-handed is clearly a minority, being only around 10% of the world’s population, [10] and as Jane had cited earlier in her some of her significant experiences, she was constantly reminded that she was different. She also mentioned that to her, it felt like the world was “made” for right-handed people. As a right-handed person, I had never thought about her situation in that way, but as I reviewed some of the other experiences she had cited, I realized that I had been taking simple activities in my daily life for granted–activities as simple as being able to comfortably cut paper, write in a notebook, or measure liquids while baking. Even right now as I write in my journal, I have no problem, whereas a left-handed person such as Jane would likely be more uncomfortable, with the possibility of smearing ink while writing from left to right.  

However, when trying to compare Jane’s case with Anna’s, I found myself questioning whether left-handedness was also a historically less competent group through stereotypes, like how society generally sees women as less competent. Eventually, I realized that because of a vast majority of tools being constructed for right-handed people, it was possible for left-handed people to appear as more clumsy, and thus, less competent. Thinking back to Jane’s concerns during our meeting, I remembered that Jane also explicitly mentioned feeling clumsy compared to her peers.

Returning to Anna’s case, I recall that her case had developed in severity, and she began experiencing depression and anxiety through her self-doubt. She slowly lost motivation to pursue her passions because she always felt like she lacked competence due to something she had no control over. [11]

As someone who attended medical school, after further contemplating this point, I realized that her left-handedness, a factor that she could not control, like Anna being a woman, could actually impact her future. Most of the medical world is accustomed to right-handedness–for example, physical examination should always be done from the right side of the patient, and approaching a patient from the left side may even be enough to fail you during an assessment, as traditionally, approaching from the right is what has been done. [12]

Reflecting on medical school, I remember that I would occasionally overhear my left-handed peers discussing how nervous they were to perform surgeries because surgical tools were made for right-handed use. Furthermore, there was a lack of left-handed surgical instruments, both conventional and laparoscopic (using a camera to view internal organs), that was simply not adapted to left-hand use (instruments were traditionally created for right-handed people and were generally not comfortable for left-handed people, and no significant efforts were made to change this tradition). Not only was there a significant pressure to change hand laterality during training but left-handedness was actually considered to be a disadvantage when it comes to surgical training. [13] As I mentioned previously, being right-handed, I had never really thought about their concerns until I came across Jane’s case.

Anna also developed a much lower self-esteem overall because of her self-doubt. [14] Due to how similar Jane’s case is to Anna’s, I am very concerned about Jane’s mental state, and I hope to better understand her situation by speaking with her more. This way I can better assist her in the future–the last thing I would want for her is for her case to become worse.

Footnotes: 

[8] “There are perceptions among some women that men are more suited to the 'masculine professions' because they have masculine capital, i.e. stereotypically masculine skills and capacities, which enable men to be better engineers, architects, etc. The naturalization of masculine capacities means that masculine skills are seen as innate rather than acquired, which likely diminishes women's self-confidence in these areas” (Powell 927).
[9] “Self-doubts can be viral and infectious, resulting from identification with a stereotyped group where questions about competence prevail. Stereotype threat refers to an individual’s concern that she or he might confirm a negative stereotype about an important group and the ironic performance decrements that can result from the anxiety borne of such concerns” (Braslow 478).
[10] “According to some experts, just a little over 10% of people around the world are left-handed” (Backus).
[11]“Self-doubt is one of the major obstacles to living the life you truly deserve. This unhealthy food for the soul drags down your spirit, crushes your ambition, and prevents you from achieving all that you can” (Thaik).
“Often, these feelings of weakness or incompetence stem from childhood and become ingrained in our very being. Over time, self-doubt can lead to problems with anxiety and depression, which in turn can lead to serious physical ailments like weight gain, high blood pressure, chronic fatigue, and even increased mortality rates among those with heart disease. It is important not only to be aware of the destructive nature of these feelings but to incorporate methods to counteract this negativity” (Thaik).
[12] “Medical school is not a very welcoming place to left-handers, in part due to traditional approaches to teaching. For example, physical examination should always be done from the right side of the patient. Approaching a patient from the left side may be enough to fail you during an assessment. As a result, I got used to using my right hand for most procedures and always approached patients from the right side” (Shankar).  [13] “This survey showed that nearly half of the left-handed surgeons surveyed were anxious about their laterality-related difficulties in that they sought advice during surgical residency, but only 1 in 10 programs mentored for laterality dominance. Moreover, only 13% of the programs provided left-handed instruments during surgical residency. This resulted in surgeons who considered leaving surgery at some point in their career and one surgeon who considered changing specialty because of left-handedness-related frustrations. There is a lack of surgical instruments, both conventional and laparoscopic, instruments that are not adapted to left-hand use, and there is significant pressure to change hand laterality during training. Left-handedness is considered to be a disadvantage when it comes to surgical training” (Fisher).                                        [14] “The result showed that self-doubt induction lowered self-esteem relative to control when people were primed with entity beliefs” (Zhao 299).

With over 10 years of experience as a psychotherapist, I know that Jane is experiencing classic symptoms of self-doubt: thinking she is not good enough, questioning her abilities, etc. Many individuals come to me seeking help for themselves, and over time, I’ve improved my understanding of self-doubt overall. 

One of the most significant points of self-doubt that I have observed is how when someone reacts to different stressors, such as stereotypes in a person’s life, these stressors may specifically amplify feelings of self-doubt. [15] Additionally, in response to self-doubt, individuals tend to either overachieve in a particular area or self-handicap, (to come up with a handicap explanation or excuse for their lack of ability) which is remarkably similar to Jane’s situation where she considers her left-handedness to be a “handicap.” [16]

In extreme cases, suicidal ideation can be present in people who are bullied and can also be present in individuals with a negative attitude and self-image. [17] It is also important to note that a negative self-image promotes higher levels of anxiety and negative thoughts, which can perpetuate social phobia and cause social anxiety in people who were non-anxious at first. [18]

Another patient, Alex, whom Jane’s case reminded me of came from an entirely different background–he was an immigrant who had recently moved to the country, and he found himself struggling to integrate into a society that was crafted for native-born English speakers. In general, immigrants, especially those who are low-skilled, residentially segregated, and/or undocumented such as Alex can struggle to reach proficiency in English, which is essential to navigating American society and accessing opportunities that he needed to feel comfortable in his new environment. [19] In this way, despite coming to America in pursuit of a better life, he was instead further ostracized and prevented from achieving his goals. At this point, I realized that being left-handed seemed to be one of these minorities that are discriminated against by various societal institutions due to social customs that label left-handedness as different, albeit being a less distinct, less organized majority that could lack a sense of common identity because of its diversity. [20] 

Considering everything I have learned from Jane’s case thus far, I believe that it would be reasonable to conclude that being left-handed in a world made for right-handers extended past the “subtle differences” to a deeper psychological level by inflicting self-doubt in a person.

Footnotes: 

[15] “They also tend to attributionally discount their ability after exerting a high amount of effort, which sets the stage for self-doubt about the ability to arise” (Braslow 473).
[16] “The present findings shed light on the dynamic relationship between self-doubt and self-esteem. It has been observed that people who experience self-doubt chronically may have an ‘abnormal investment in the question of self-worth” (Hermann 405).
“The intrusion of feelings of doubt, thoughts about the properties of the retrieval process, and so forth all could contribute to exacerbating self-doubt and damaging feelings of self-esteem” (Hermann 406).
[17] Our main finding was that adolescents with suicidal ideation had a more negative self-image than those with no suicidal ideation. Almost all areas of their self-image were negative. Earlier studies have revealed that self-image profiles can differentiate between normal and disturbed adolescents and also predict future psychological functioning” (Laukkanen 51).
[18] “Irrespective of the level of social anxiety or depressive symptoms, participants that held the negative self-image experienced higher levels of anxiety, were more self-focused, experienced more negative thoughts, and rated their anxiety as more visible. Collectively the results indicate that negative imagery is causally involved in the maintenance of social phobia, as well as in the generation of social anxiety among non-anxious individuals” (Makkar 654).
[19] “Despite the positive outlook for linguistic integration, the barriers to English proficiency, particularly for low-skilled, poorly educated, residentially segregated, and undocumented immigrant populations, are a cause for concern” (Population Council 388).
[20] “Left-handers may be one of the last unorganized minorities in our society, with no collective power and no real sense of common identity. Yet they are a minority that is often discriminated against by social, educational, and religious institutions. Social customs and even our language set the left-hander apart as ‘different’ and probably ‘bad’” (Coren).

Today, I wanted to take a break from work for the weekend and visit a sports game. I’ve always had a history of snagging tickets to baseball games so I could cheer on my favorite team, the Yankees, of course. Today was the opening game of a young, up-and-coming player for the team, who was rapidly gaining popularity for his abnormal level of skill. As I was watching, the fans roared when he stepped out onto the playing field. 

However, when I looked more closely at him, I realized that he was turned in the opposite direction from the previous players in his batting stance–he was left-handed! At first, I felt like all of the new opinions that I had developed about Jane’s situation were beginning to fall apart. If being left-handed was supposed to be disadvantageous and cause self-doubt, then how could professional sports players like this left-handed batter succeed in the sports world? I continued watching the game, and I realized that the player’s left-handedness might have even acted as an advantage for him. [21] 

All of the players on the opposing team were right-handed, so they were unfamiliar with how he was oriented while playing. I remember reading about the same phenomenon in one of my college history classes, where medieval fencers were encouraged to fight and practice left-handed, which was considered the “wrong” side, in order to gain an unfamiliarity advantage or avoid it from other left-handed fencers. [22] In general, with a different posture, stance, or trajectory of the ball if using one, it would be difficult for opponents to adapt to a variety of different sports, from baseball to fencing, or even volleyball. [23]

I immediately thought about telling Jane about the baseball game that I had just seen, but I noticed that his advantage in playing baseball as a left-hander didn’t necessarily go against what I had realized about Jane’s left-handedness. A group of fans (rooting for the opposing team) who were sitting in front of me while I was watching the game were arguing about the baseball player. I wrote down their conversation as best as I can remember because I felt that it was really important in developing my perspective:

Fan 1: “Hey, what do you guys think about that new player for the other team?”

Fan 2: “What, you mean the left-handed one?”

Fan 1: “Yeah, he’s so good! I can’t believe he’s already made headlines in his first few games! He must really be that good.”

Fan 3: “Yeah right, he’s only good because he’s left-handed. He shouldn’t even be allowed to play with right-handed players. I mean, isn’t that an unfair advantage?”

Fan 1: “Well, I guess it’s an advantage, but I feel like that’s a little too extreme…”

The opinion expressed by Fan 3 was what changed my mind. Thinking back to a psychological perspective, Fan 3’s opinion was still capable of excluding left-handers by invalidating his skills with the fact that he was left-handed. In a sense, someone being excluded because they are not good enough would be no better than being excluded because they are too good because they are still deprived of their need for belongingness either way. [23] When someone invalidates another person’s skills by claiming that they are only competent because of a factor that they cannot control, it can make them question their abilities. 

Footnotes: 

[21] “Left-handedness is not without its benefits. Evidence suggests that left-handers are more likely to reach the higher echelons of the sporting fraternity (Fritsche and Lindell 70).
[22] “Harris describes that in the 16th-century fencers were encouraged to fight left-handed since doing so provided them an unfamiliarity advantage. Likewise, fencers were advised to practice with left-handed opponents in order to reduce the assumed detrimental effects of low familiarity with left-handers' fighting behavior on performance.” (Loffing 163).
[22] “As a left-handed athlete, I have a great advantage in the game, because my posture is different, and so is the trajectory of the ball. My competitors often find it difficult to adapt.” (Chen). This quote is from an interview with Mr. Li Chen, a left-handed volleyball coach.
[23] “From this vantage point one might offer a surprising hypothesis: it would be no better to be ostracized from a group because one is too able than because one is not competent enough; from the exclusive belongingness vantage point the core consideration is the set of threatened needs, which are largely distinct from competence, each enmeshed with the need to belong” (Braslow 471-72).

Today, during my session with Jane, I brought my new findings about sports to her attention. I explained to her that even though the new baseball player faced mistreatment from his fans, his left-handedness actually proved to help him in the long run. I think I even saw her smile when I mentioned that. I now completely understand where she’s coming from; her problems and her feelings are all connected like puzzle pieces—and I think I can finally help her now.

I previously mentioned a patient I had prior to Jane named Alex, an immigrant who had been trying to fit into American society. Today, he called me and mentioned that he felt he had reached a point where he felt comfortable in America, explaining that he finally felt like he was able to integrate into American society, and he enrolled in a college to pursue higher education despite his initial disadvantage as a first-generation immigrant compared to the majority of American society. [24] I was immensely proud of him, and he had also mentioned that he couldn’t have completed his journey without assistance from others, including me. I thought about Jane’s case again, and left-handed people in general, and I wanted to try and figure out if the success of Alex’s case could potentially be recreated in Jane’s case as well. 

After I explained Alex’s story to Jane on the phone, I asked Jane, “Have you ever experienced something similar to Alex? Have you felt included, or have you ever been able to lessen your feelings of self-doubt because you’ve felt included?” 

Jane thought for a moment, and responded, “Well, I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned this to you before, probably during our first session, but the first time I felt included was when I went to the Lefty’s store in San Francisco. I also have plenty of supportive friends who make me feel great about myself.” I was curious about the Lefty’s store that she mentioned, so I asked her to elaborate. She enthusiastically started telling me the story of when she visited the store.

“Ok, so basically, we were in San Francisco, and as a family, we decided to go to Pier 39, a shopping center built on a pier. While entering the Pier, I first bungee-jumped, because why not? And then we walked for a little while until I noticed to my left, a little shop called Lefty’s, written in a pale-ish orange. I obviously had to go in! I walked into the store and was instantly amazed by the multitude of products that were catered to people like me–left-handers. I didn’t even know where to begin looking; there were left-handed scissors, notebooks, measuring cups, and even a left-handed guitar. I felt so moved by the store that I had the idea to email the owners of the store after my visit and ask about why exactly they founded the store. 

They responded wonderfully, mentioning that ‘With over 10% of the world’s population being left-handed, they saw an opportunity to offer left-handed products that no one else was doing at the time.’ Also, they explained that ‘since the brain is wired differently in left-handed people, having to adjust to right-handed tools comes with its own sets of pros and cons. For one, left-handed people are forced to become ambidextrous when using certain tools. On the other hand, using certain right-handed tools on your left hand can be hazardous and/or dangerous.’ Lastly, the owners emphasized that as a society, we need to educate ourselves in this matter and create more consciousness when it comes to certain tasks where left-handed products are needed.” [25]

After Jane finished her story, I suggested ways that she could combat her feelings of self-doubt, and how it can actually be helpful, because I saw that she was ready to embrace positivity after sharing her story. I explained to her that having self-doubt can help us become good leaders, parents, and friends by providing insight into ourselves and encouraging us to pursue alternate questions and strategies whenever we are unsure if a particular method is the best way to approach a problem. [26] An important way to combat self-doubt is through positive self-talk, the inner monologue that builds our conscience throughout the day. [27] Jane listened attentively, carefully taking note of what I was saying. 

Having given Jane the tools to combat self-doubt and a fresh perspective on her handedness, it was time to bring our session–and these journal entries–to a close. I hope to have delivered to Jane a powerful message that emphasized the importance of embracing and celebrating what makes us unique. By focusing on Jane's handedness, I hoped to inspire her to view it not as a hindrance, but as a defining characteristic that sets her apart from the rest. With her unwavering determination to push beyond her limits, she is a testament to the power of resilience and strength of character. Now, I leave both Jane and you, the reader, with a message that I hope will continue to resonate: the things that make us unique are what truly make us remarkable.

Footnotes:

[24] “Despite large differences in starting points among the first generation, there has been strong intergenerational progress in educational attainment” (Population Council 386).
[25] Interview with Lefty’s (Los Monteros)
[26] “It drives us to question results, experiment with new strategies, and be open to alternative ways to solve problems — tactics that correlate with late-bloomer strengths such as curiosity and resilience. But self-doubt isn’t only a performance enhancer; it’s also a recipe for being a wiser leader, teacher, parent, and friend because coming to terms with it makes us more compassionate and gives us greater insight into ourselves and others” (Karlgaard).
[27] “We can improve self-efficacy through something we already do: Talk. We all talk ourselves through situations, good and bad. It’s our inner cheerleader — or our inner critic. Psychologists and researchers call this voice “self-talk.” Self-talk shapes our relationships with ourselves, allowing us to try to see things more objectively” (Karlgaard).

Backus, Fred. “Life Is a Little Harder for Left-Handed People - CBS News Poll.” CBS News, 4 Feb. 2022, www.cbsnews.com/news/left-handed-people-opinion-poll-February-2022/. 

Braslow, Matthew D., et al. “Self-Doubt.” Social and Personality Psychology Compass, vol. 6, no. 6, 2012, pp. 470–82. 

Coren, Stanley. The Left-Hander Syndrome: The Causes and Consequences of Left-Handedness. Vintage Books, 1993. 

Chen, Li. “Re: Interview About Being Left-Handed in Sports.” Received by Jenny Chen, 10 Mar. 2023. 

Fisher, Sophy, host. “Left-Handed Workers in a Right-Handed World.” The Future of Work, episode 11, 11 Aug. 2022. voices.ilo.org/podcast/left-handed-workers-in-a-right-handed-world.

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Los Monteros, Andrea de. “Re: Interview Request for a Research Paper.” Received by Mahiyah Muthu, 21 Jan. 2023. 

MacMillan, Amanda. “20 Ways Being Left-Handed Impacts Your Health.” CNN Health, 4 Nov. 2015, www.cnn.com/2015/11/03/health/being-left-handed-health-impact/index.html. 

Makkar, Steve, and Jessica Grisham. “Social Anxiety and the Effects of Negative Self-Imagery on Emotion, Cognition, and Post-Event Processing.” Behavior Research and Therapy, vol. 49, no. 10, 2011, pp. 654–64. 

Population Council. “The National Research Council on the Integration of Immigrants into American Society.” Population and Development Review, vol. 42, no. 2, 2016, pp. 385–89. 

Powell, Abigail, and Katherine Sang. “Everyday Experiences of Sexism in Male-dominated Professions: A Bourdieusian Perspective.” Sociologies of Everyday Life, vol. 49, no. 5, 2015, pp. 919-36.

Ramsey, John N. “Commentary: Why Is Left-Handed Writing Still a Problem in the Last 7th of the 20th Century?” The Reading Teacher, vol. 41, no. 6, 1988, pp. 504–06. 

Rustambek, Avezmurodovich. “Psychological Aspects of Left-Handedness: Concept, Causes, and Peculiarities.” Academia, vol. 11, no. 1, 2021, pp. 623-31. 

Shankar, Ravi P. “Being a Left-Hander in a Right-Handed World.” Literature Arts & Medicine Magazine, 3 Mar. 2022, www.medhum.med.nyu.edu/magazine/archives/50713.

Thaik, Cynthia. “Self-doubt Destroys the Heart, Mind, Body, and Soul.” HuffPost, 9 April. 2013, www.huffpost.com/entry/self-doubt_b_2960936.

Zhao, Qin, et al. “Self-Doubt Effects Depend on Beliefs about Ability: Experimental Evidence.” The Journal of General Psychology, vol. 163, no. 3, 2019, pp. 299–332.