Today was like any other day, it was a Saturday so that meant I didn’t have to worry about stuff like school and homework, for the time being. I’m just going to put it out there now, I have a wife and four children. I’ve been married for about four to five months, give or take a few days, and I don’t regret it. I’ve decided to keep a journal so I could write down the happenings of my birthday and my parents reactions when I tell them I have a wife. I got home, greeted my parents, and put my stuff away. They were both sitting on the couch watching some Netflix show, I’m not going to bother writing down ‘cause f you. They asked me what I wanted to do on my birthday,

“I just want simple gathering so we can eat together nothing extravagant.” I responded while walking over to the other couch. As I was sitting down on the couch, to their right, I remembered that I needed to tell them something, “Also I’m inviting my wife to come over, hope you don’t mind.” I said casually. They both looked at me like I just said something crazy. In their defense to them I did say something crazy.

“What?” My mother said to me looked all kinds of shocked.

“Yea, I’m married.”

“But you’re so young, how can you be married?”

“Well we both agreed and established that we were married.”

“That’s ludicrous and you know it.” She pointed at me

“I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“Say something about this.” She said looking at my dad.

“Well… if he’s happy who are we to stop them?” I mean it’s not like they have children or anything.” He looked at me expectantly.

“About that, I do.”

“What!?” They said in unison.

“Yea I have four ki-”

“WHAT!?”

“Yea four, as I was saying their names are Ingmar, Steve, Malika, and-

“Those names sound odd.” One of them interrupted again. Not only did they interrupt me a second time they insulted my children and I wasn’t going to take that shit, I don’t care who you are I’m not going to sit there (in this case) and let you insult my kids, and I told them as much. I scolded them for it and they said they would stay quiet and let me finish. I put my fingers on my temples, because there was a headache starting to form, and breathed out, “Okay. As I was about to say-” before I said what I was going to say I cut myself off because I thought of something better to say. Ironic I know, Shhh. “Before I say that, you know for being parents you two really aren’t being all that supportive of my decision. I would think that being a parent meant that you would support your children with their decisions. I bet you would have supported me if I told you I was gay.”

“Well, yea, we would support you. Please tell me that was what you were going to say next.” My mom pleaded. Then I thought of a way to f with them.

“Would it help if I told you that my partner if another guy?” They looked shocked at my response but I put them at ease, “Nah I’m just kidding I like women and my  wife is female.” That made them ease up a bit, which probably would have triggered me if I was gay. There was awkward silence for a bit, at least I thought it was awkward, they were probably gathering their thoughts and after about a minute my mom asks,

“So what is your fourth child’s name?”

“You won’t interrupt me when I try to tell you her name?

“No, we promise.”

“Well… too bad you shouldn’t have interrupted me the first time.” I said as I stood up from the couch and went to my room, because I’m petty like that.