Where Are You, M? | Teen Ink

Where Are You, M?

July 5, 2015
By apoetsmind BRONZE, Toronto, Other
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apoetsmind BRONZE, Toronto, Other
1 article 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
She was like the moon, part of her was always hidden


       I looked up at the sky and smiled when I saw the first star appear. "M," I whispered. A tear rolled down my cheek. "Thanks for letting me find you."

 

   "Mom, Matthew keeps hitting me." Ethan came running out to where I was standing on the balcony. He tugged on my shirt. "He's not listening to me mom. Make him stop hitting me." I looked away from the stars and picked Ethan up. "Your brother is only fifteen months, he doesn't really know what it means to listen. Okay Ethan?" I brought my six year old son inside and put him down. "Okay." He said in a low voice.

              Matthew started crying so I picked him up from his play area and gently rocked him until he calmed down.

           The door bell rang and Ethan jumped up from the couch with a smile on his little face. "Daddy." He shouted and ran to the door. I went back out to the balcony with my baby Matthew in my arms. He looked up at the stars with big brown eyes. Inside I heard my husband talking to Ethan and making him laugh.

    

     I looked at Matthew then pointed up at the sky, "Star." I said.

 

     I had been trying to get him to say his first word for a few weeks but every time I tried he'd stay quiet. He pointed forward with his little hand and said, "Sta."

Oh my god, he said his first word.

 

"Yes, that's a star." I whispered through a smile. "Hey, Matthew said his first word." I called and my family came out and stood with me. My husband put his arm around my waist and the other around Ethan's shoulder. "What'd he say?" Ethan asked. "He said star." I smiled, "It was more like "sta" but we're getting there."

The three of us laughed together and went inside.

 

I'm happy, M. I'm finally happy again.

I hope you're happy too.

Chapter One

 

 

 

         Kaya Summers walked carefully down the sidewalk with her gig bag on her back carrying her broken acoustic guitar. It had been on her back the other day in school when a group of bullies shoved her into the lockers. Jerks. She felt proud when she had her guitar. She felt more confident, but unfortunately, it wasn't enough to avoid being bullied. Kaya was taking it to a guitar shop she looked up online that stated they could fix her precious acoustic. She stopped in front of a small shop and looked up at the hanging sign, High Strung. She chuckled to herself and rolled her eyes, thinking the name was kind of funny. As soon as she walked in, musty air and music she had never heard filled the room. She looked around to see guitars hanging on the walls and CD's lining shelves. She then noticed a boy sitting on a stool behind a desk picking strings on a guitar with head phones on.

 

      Is he the guy that's supposed to be able to fix a guitar? Kaya curiously thought.

      She looked around and saw no one else in the small shop. I guess so. For a moment Kaya considered turning and leaving, she didn't like interrupting people. But she looked at the broken guitar in her hand and walked over to the desk. "Hello." She said with uncertainty in her voice. "Hello?" She said again, a little louder. The second time was more of a question.

 

       The boy jumped a little and looked up at Kaya. His eyes were green like evergreen trees. "Sorry, I didn't hear you." The boy apologized, removing the headphones and setting the guitar down on a stand. "No worries, I'm in no rush." Kaya shrugged.

 

       He gave her a smile, studying her face for a minute as she took off her gig bag and set it on the desk.

 

    "So, what can I do for you?" He asked unzipping it to reveal the guitar. The neck was crooked and two strings were broken. "Woah that sucks dude, what happened?" She laughed, "Do you call every girl you meet dude?"

      He looked at her with confusion, "Oh right, I didn't even realize. Maybe I do? I don't know."

 

      She didn't know how to respond to that, "Anyways, some people thought it would be funny to see how good they could smash me into a wall. I'm okay but my guitar isn't."

    He looked at her with sympathy. "Oh, I'm sorry to hear, I'll see what I can do." She smiled, "It's fine, and thanks." He nodded and carried her guitar to a back room labeled 'carpentry'.

         Kaya looked at CD's for awhile until she heard him yell from the back room, "Feel free to play any guitar you like." She walked over to the stand where he set down his guitar, feeling the surface of it with her fingertips. She turned her head to the room he was in, then sat on his stool and picked up the guitar. At first she just strummed chords quietly, she didn't want the guy to hear. But once she got into it she started playing like the store was her stage.

"You've got a nice voice." He interrupted, still talking to her from the other room.

   She stopped playing and closed her mouth, unaware she was even singing. "Oh, thanks. So what's up with my guitar?" She changed the subject. "Well, I have a lot of work to do and I'm not sure how long it'll be so you'll have to check in every week."

          "Alrighty, dude." She smirked.

            Kaya got up from the stool and grabbed her big bag. She threw it over her shoulder like a seat belt. "See ya," She walked towards the door.

      "Hey wait."

        He came out of the carpentry room he was working in.

       She turned around halfway and stood there waiting for him to say something else. "If I hear about anyone else bullying you," There was a certain pain in his voice, mixed with anger. He continued, "I'll confront them myself."

"Oh you really wouldn't have to, but thanks."

    "But you'll tell me, right?"

"Yeah, sure."

 

    Kaya pushed the door open, making a bell ding. When she was gone, he cleaned up the tiny music store and went back to fixing her guitar. High Strung was a very small and unpopular music store in the big city of New York. A lot of people would pass by without even glancing into the windows. It didn't bother him much, he appreciated the quietness. The only down side was that he needed money, and customers provided that.

 

     In the dim and musty carpentry room there were all kinds of tools everywhere. He picked up the girl's pencil brown guitar and examined it for a little while.

   

   You're gonna be a hard one to fix. He thought as he set it down on a table in front of him.

 

 

 

 

 

...

 

"I'm home,"

       Kaya called as she entered her Manhattan Townhouse. There was no response. She walked into the kitchen and saw her moms keys on the counter. "Mom?" She called again, looking around the house. The house was silent. She climbed the steps slowly, dragging her bag behind her. Thump -- thump --- thump ----- thump -- she reached the top of the stairs. As Kaya walked to her room, her mother's voice stopped her. It was quiet because the door to the room was closed. Curious as she usually was, she put her ear to the door.

      "No, no she doesn't know yet. I'm planning on telling her soon." She was talking on the phone.

       "Of course I know she'll be sad. She's sixteen though, she'll get over it."

        "Mhm, yes I am but we won't be for quite a while. There's no rush."

    

 

     Confused, Kaya went into her room and tossed her bag behind the door. She jumped onto her bed and lay there staring at the ceiling for a while. I wonder what my mom's keeping from me that would make me sad, She thought. It must be something bad. She stopped thinking about it because she knew sooner or later she'd find out, so she reached over to the desk beside her bed and grabbed her red earphones. She plugged them in her ears and into her phone, then went to a playlist by The Kooks which was her favourite band at the moment.

   Kaya slipped her shoes off and closed her eyes.

 

 

 

 

You say you want it, but

You can't get it in

You got yourself a bad habit for it

 

Baby got our head down

Baby trying to stand down in the crowd

Looking for a stranger

Looking for a stranger to love

 

 

 

 

 

...

            "Kaya, Kay sweetie." Ms. Summers stood beside her daughters bed, she took out her headphones to wake her up. "Wake up, I made dinner." Kaya's eyes opened and she rolled over, "What?"

        "I made dinner." Her mom repeated and walked out of the room.

         "Mmkay." Kaya mumbled.

         After a few minutes, she pushed herself out of bed and checked the time. It was six forty-three in the afternoon.

She rubbed her eyes and followed the smell of chicken soup into the kitchen where her mom was.

   

      "Anything exciting happen today at school?" Ms. Summers asked. "Nope, nothing exciting." Kaya answered with a plain voice, she grabbed a bowl from the cupboard and filled it with soup. "You've been at that school for a month now, you've made friends right?"

    "Yeah, I guess."

 

    Her mom sighed, "I know moving has been hard and everything, but I really think things will be great here."

        Kaya nodded, "Yeah."

        "Well, I'm gonna go out and get a few things. Please don't leave your bowl on the table when you're finished." It was a bad habit of Kaya's. She nodded again, "'Kay mom."

       

      Ms. Summers left and Kaya finished her soup, taking care of her bowl after like her mom said. She left the kitchen and went downstairs into the basement.

     There were still some boxes filled with stuff they didn't unpack yet. She sat down and rummaged through items in one of the cardboard boxes. She picked up a picture, in it was her mom and dad with their arms around each other. They both had smiles on their faces. Kaya looked at the photo with a nostalgic, sad, feeling in her stomach. She put it back in the box and pulled out another picture that was also in a frame. It was one of her with her family. Their dog was under Kaya's arms, "Romeo." She whispered under her breath, touching the picture with her fingertips. Romeo was the name of her German Shepherd. She missed him, she missed home.

       Kaya placed the picture beside her on the floor, continuing to look through the box.

       She pulled out old cheer leader clothes, followed by two pom poms. She smiled and hugged the blue uniform. I want it back, all of it. She sighed and her phone buzzed. Kaya placed the clothes back in the box and looked at her phone.

 

Sent to: Kay

Received from: Mom

I'm sorry, I forgot to check if we had any milk left. Could you please check for me.

 

     Kaya picked up the picture on the floor and walked upstairs. She opened the fridge and saw that there was only a bag left of milk.

 

Sent to: Mom

Received from: Kay

there's only a bag left

 

     She closed the fridge and brought the picture up to her room to place in on the table beside her bed. She wanted to keep something from her old life close to her.

 

   1 unread message

 

Sent to: Kay

Received from: Mom

Thanks! See you soon.

Seen 7:39 p.m

     

      Kaya had nothing else to do, she was bored most days because she didn't really have any friends yet. Only friends that she sometimes talked to during school. She pulled out her homework from her backpack and worked on it on her bed.

      After finishing some math equations, she turned on her phone and went into her notes.

                                                                                                       New

 

I hate school                         Friday >

I pull my eyes away fr...  2014-09-30 >

You took my heart...        2014-09-28 >

I've always known t...      2014-09-28 >

Bucket list                      2014-09-22 >

To watch                        2014-09-19 >

I'm finally over you...       2014-08-16 >

I sat on the roof st...        2014-08-02 >

I had a dream we...         2014-07-14 >

I hate my life.                 2014-06-02 >

 

 

     She clicked 'New' and added a note.

I'm so bored with my life. I miss you dad. I miss you Cole. I miss you Romeo. I miss you Sadie. I miss my friends. I miss having someone to talk to. I miss cheer leading, I miss everything. I just miss feeling happy with my life.

 

       Kaya turned off her phone and tossed it a few inches away from where she lay on her stomach. She picked up the pencil and continued her homework.



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