It’s been..how many days, months, years? I don’t even know anymore. I’ve lost track of time ever since that day. I could already tell that it’s been long enough, the crippled posters that contained an image of my face, still nailed onto the logs of these streets. The text imprinted onto the poster, ‘Still Missing’. My once baby light brown highlights still remained on the printed paper. Even though it may be a bit crusty, it was still visible. I could even still spot the slight hue of green that remained in those pure innocent eyes.


Stretching my arm outwards to grab hold onto one of the corners of the delicate paper, suddenly yanking it off the wooden post, causing a tear to form. ‘That’s not me...not anymore.’ The thought didn’t linger long in this small brain of mine. I had a task to complete for the day. The small puffs of steam slipped out of my slightly parted lips due to the cold that faded into this town.


Was it possibly December now..? November? I haven’t been allowed to look at calendars ever since as well, I’ve even forgotten how to read certain dates. I know, it must be incredibly odd for someone to forget such a thing. But throw me a bone here, I haven’t seen any text formats in a long and I mean long time. Not that I accurately recall when it occurred to me, those men in the lab coats just f*ed up my head is all, or whatever they do for a goddamn living. Friends? I wonder what real friends are like...how can those geeks and psychopaths residing at home be friends? Surely..friends are…


My eyelids lower at that, not being able to receive any remembrance or familiarity of the specified word. A small quick exhale left my mouth once more at that, resulting into a faint sigh. I just needed to get this job done with for the day so I can just return back home. My footsteps crunched into the snow softly, the white particles falling from the unknown above my head slowly as if mere insects. It was supposedly to be an isolated time of the month if it were to be this freezing. Shoving my palms back into the pockets of my pallid coat, taking out a thin piece of paper at the size of a post-it, just to read the address written on it. 01-45, Reir street. It wasn’t so far away now, just a few more blocks and it should just be right there.


After a few minutes walking through the white covered field, on the sidewalks, I took a corner and was immediately revealed a tall red bricked building. A hotel, how ordinary. Many men these days are just like pigs, unknowingly waiting to be slit through their throats, slaughtered, as they squealed. Daily target of course is of a man that contains ebony hair, azure eyes, and fairly tanned. I know, what a weird mix of features it must be, right? But trust me, this generation has lead to a rather strange coarse.

In about 13 minutes, he should exit the building to appoint a meeting with his client, heading towards a payphone constructed onto the sidewalks, 2 blocks away, with this small opportunity I should just simply lure him elsewhere, most likely a small alley that provides isolation.


Knowledge like this, I didn’t inherit when I was younger of course, that’d obviously be quite abnormal. I could guess that the surgeons did something as well towards my brain besides forgetting certain..memories was it? Not sure, but most likely did screw up something else in there to have resulted with me being able to accurately predict future doings and statuses of other human beings.


I turned back around to lean against the solid substance of the building, wanting to seem like any other person would look if they had spare time with no creative ideas towards activity.


It wasn’t too long till I heard a small echoing ring being made from the entrance door not too far away.


It was him.



The soles of his footwear grinding very slightly against the covered concrete could be heard softly. His figure coming into view slowly, his expression seemed rather distracted. Mostly full of frustrations having to be put up with for this meeting. Well good thing I’m coming along to cancel it.

Hey, I’m doing him a favor here, don’t you think?


The man began to walk towards the direction that I’ve guessed, all according to my predictions, as always. Some of these days, I wish there’d be one victim that could surprise me at least once, here and there. But that moment has never occurred to my life span just yet. Producing light weight on my heels to result with my footsteps to become silent, I’ve adjusted to this type of footwork for quite a while and I’ve surprisingly became rather skilled at it.


It comes in handy sometimes, I’ve gotta say.. but enough of that, I’ve got a job to do.


It was then two blocks away from the hotel he was previously residing in, he neared the payphone that was fairly built on the sidewalks. He then reached for the phone, but paused before his pasty fingers could wrap around the obsidian electronic. Catching a glimpse of my presence right besides him.


Time to put my act together.


Analyzing him before I approached the male, I could already be told that he may be an oblivious person at most points.


An easy target, now I don’t have to place the slightest effort in my actions.


A petite lost cutesy act should do it, considering that my appearance and age would definitely create a big impact and support towards the idea.



Poor man doesn’t see what’s heading towards his way.. a drastic ending it is.


“Child, are you lost?” he glanced downwards, his pupils directed straightly at mine’s.


He already bought the bait.


Indeed, the fake tears that were tempted to roll down my cheeks were formed onto the corners of my eye slits. Revealing the expression of fright and worry as a confused frown was formed onto my lips.


I simply nodded in response.



Lowering himself as his knees bent to kneel down carefully, still lifting himself up with little force, not wanting to ruin the silky texture of his trousers against the snow. Meeting my height level, his expression faded towards pity. “Poor girl, are you sure you don’t know where your parents might be?”, he said as his tone fitted perfectly within the look on his face. Raising my hand upwards halfway to give a slight shaking motion, turning my wrist to give a silent message within it, ‘I think’.


Understanding the message within the small gesture he smiled very small in reassurance, offering with a slight caring tone, “It’s quite cold out here, and rarely any people around- it would be dangerous for a little girl like you to just wander by yourself. Would you like me to walk you to where your parents may be? It’s safer this way for the both of us.” I nodded once more, watching as he carefully stood back up, stretching out his arm to offer a hand. I reached for it eagerly to begin our small little search party.


One,

Two,

Three,

Four,

Five blocks.


Already having walked down that much of a distance, taking a corner finally towards an empty alley. Besides the compression being made against the pallor surface, the faint whistling of the wind was the only lullaby being heard as we took our steps. The towering buildings on each side seemed endless from ahead, creating a darker shade at whatever end there was.


The grip against my palm loosened slowly at the area, he looked rather confused now.

“Are you sure this is where you think they may be?” he questioned slowly due towards his unsure grasp of the situation that was currently occurring.


My hands fell but not too dramatically, the two limbs resting against the sides of my upper body, nearing the pockets attached to my coat, before my fingers slipped into them, unnoticingly to the man. He was too distracted by the area that I’ve lead him towards, obliviousness remaining on the tanned facial features.


“Child, did you not hear me?”


Fingers wrapping around the cold inanimate object that was buried into my pockets, pulling it out slowly from one side as not to reveal it just yet. My index finger resting against the trigger very lightly, as the others had a firm grip onto the handle. Still looking downwards, confirming my next actions that would soon be taken. I peered back up at him, meeting his gaze, the orbs seeming so full of life, yet not so much excitement, just another ordinary life span to experience. I closed up to him, the gap between our bodies disappearing, resulting to a small warming gesture. A hug. But it didn’t last for long, him seeming so stiff in the slightest at the sudden movement but his muscles relaxed quickly.


The hard tip pressed softly against his abdomen.


“..Wh-”


Swiftly pulling back the ebony hammer of the object, releasing it as I pressed my finger pad against the trigger with increased force, cutting the man off his sentence.


‘Bang’


The screeching sound hitting against the walls of the atmosphere that filled the air immensely, resulting into an echo that only seemed to last for a split second.


The man’s eyes widening almost abnormally, as if bulging out of his eye sockets due to the sudden spark of pain developing rapidly. Taking one step back, watching the man fall onto his knees very abruptly, penetrating the snow deeply in the process with his knee caps. Red began to taint his clothing, hovering his hands over the wounded area, glancing downwards at his palms just to see the warm liquids wrap his palms completely, covered. It wasn’t too long before it spreaded, weakening, he dropped to the ground, a scream threateningly wanting to rip through his lungs due to the overwhelming agony that coursed throughout his physical state. Too busy focusing on that one source that developed in his abdomen, until he heard a familiar click of a sinful weapon that was grasped firmly in my hold. Snapping his dilated pupils back up in fright, the once tanned skin losing it’s color in a matter of seconds. Fading towards dull pallidness, my aim lowering slowly to adjust where the next clean shot would be taken. The hammer already pulled back once more as my index finger urged to press against the trigger.


“P-Please..-! D...Don’t-” his voice strained, pleading desperately for his short life span to be ‘thrown a bone’. Life is cruel. we’ve all got to admit, it may have it’s moments with brief small cherishing moments. But that only makes the memory even more painful to bear. Knowing there would be an end to it all, never being able to bring back those memories and experience them once again. Sometimes it’s just better without them. Definitely.


‘Bang’


The light in his eyes instantly vanished, fading away in just a split second as a circular hole was made between his eyes. Shot so clean, the bullet passed through the walls of his rock-like skull, his thoughts that once wandered around in there were almost visible. The upper body forming a small thud against the coated surface. No movement afterwards were made. His eye slits still wide open at the sudden end towards his daily routines. In vain.


‘I’m sorry.’


I never got use to the way my victims set such an expression even when they were eliminated. The view is quite dreadful, horrid. No matter how many times I’ve witnessed it, gone through it, I could never do so without giving myself the goosebumps. Grief and regret would always remain. I never wanted to do this, I never really liked my job. Honest. I don’t even remember when I’ve even agreed to doing such things for a living, but I must have been out of it. Clearly.


Kneeling down, with one knee supporting my weight as the other was bent in a 90 degree angle, the palm that held the frigid weapon resting on it. Bringing forth my free hand to place two of my finger pads on his eyelids, closing them. I at least want to try fooling myself that they were at peace during this soulless state. Another petite sigh left my lips, looking over the figure once more before I took my leave.


‘Would you forgive me?’


‘Perhaps not.’


‘They all don’t anyways.’

‘It’s always like this..’


Always.

White was all I could see. It was the room I was forever kept in unless I had been requested another task to succeed. Nothing overly exciting about this small area, just a plain pasty mattress with two sheets and a silk blanket, where a small coffee table is located nearby it as a slender vase with lilies resides on top of it. There were no windows whatsoever, a crowded space with walls surrounding. Sitting on the edge of the bed, my two legs dangling very slightly for it could not reach the ground just yet due to my minor age, or so it seemed. An inaudible creak was made as a certain door vanward of my spot was swung open. I knew the man, it was him, the one that first introduced me here into this chambering place. I never liked him, or even considered him as a friend or family. He would always somehow bring the creeps upon me. Too touchy. The familiar slicked back ebony hair strands as his piercing gaze was directed towards me. Still, despite his intimidation, he gave a smile that could only be formed by a father, trying too hard to seem kind. More like a psychopath. Taking steady steps forward, he stood before me. “ Akai, another mission completed, well done.” Not making any contact with him, my eyes laid down at the ground. No response was given back. The sounds of soles pressing against the surface became much more clear, nearing me and sat down besides me. The mattress forming another small dent due to the extra weight being added.


Long fingers ran through my silvery locks, my ruby irises peering back up at him before pulling away in neglection. It felt extremely uncomfortable to be with this man. Even though I still call him this way as if he were a separate being, I’ve known him for a long amount of time, he’s referred as Kuro But never have I called him by that, as you know from the obvious. He gave me bad vibes, unpleasant sensations, always making me tempted to place a disgusted expression onto my face every time I spot him. I couldn’t do that though even if I wanted to, I’d be punished..in a way you’ll think that’s utterly atrocious for a child, or even a female in fact. Since then, I’ve always kept a straight face towards him and everyone due to my lack of right of revealing my lump of emotions building inside of me, I rather not be in trouble, but I also rather not comply eagerly for every kind of situation I was given.



“Akai, don’t be like that.”




‘Shut up.’

“You know I’m the only one you can rely on, there’s no one else you can trust.”



‘Shut up.’


“So just be a good girl, and show some kindness, alright?”


‘Shut it you greasy old man.’


Sure he doesn’t look like that but trust me, his inner attitude surely is relevant towards it. A lot. Suddenly I felt another hand being placed upon mine, he leaned over for his lips to softly fall upon my forehead, a peck. “Akai.” I turned my head in an obvious gesture of rejection, but soon I felt finger pads taking hold of my chin, to face him again forcefully. “Akai, look at me.” No. “Akai.” Stop. Don’t say my name. “Akai-!” The grip cupping my chin tightened painfully, a hand hovered over my stomach, pressing against it roughly to throw me flat onto the mattress. He laid onto me, his expression


















filled with developing anger, I could almost hear the growls rumbling in his throat. “You’ll listen to me whether you appreciate or not. Without me, you wouldn’t be able to live. I gave you this shelter, food- everything.” Quickly withdrawing his hands from that, he stood up from the edge of the bed and neared the only door that was constructed in this pallid room of mine. “You will be obedient. Maybe not right now, but very soon. I’ll have to discipline you,” he spoke out with a harsh tone that was uglier than the color of dulled green. Hearing the door shut loudly at that, silence filled the atmosphere once more.





‘Finally, he’s gone,’





‘Well...for now.’


A deep exhale slipped out of my throat, ‘is this really the home that I was originally given?’ Home….sweet sweet home...more like..bitter bitter home.


I gripped the silk textured pillow case that rested beneath my head. Closing my eyes, trying to get rest that seem to tempting to be pulled in as my mind and body ached for it desperately. Just wanting to forget the events that have just recently taken place, my eyelids pressed down even more, as if forcing myself to fall into a deep slumber.



Of course, not everything could go along naturally.

I couldn’t even get a short nap to numb a few of my pained thoughts.


Sad isn’t it.


You probably think I’m crazy for not fighting back, but in all honesty, just what am I suppose to do when the ones that bring me agony, are the ones that’ve also brought me the requirements to live?



It’s like saying ‘I should kill a doctor that tried to save my life. ‘


It’s a cruel thing to do, no?



But it still hurts.

The pounding in my chest were like fists trying to break through my ribcage, it simply hurt too much. And to think that the ones that have caused this pain were those that resided in this place that I’m caged in.




Freedom.



I want to be free.


I want to know the truth.


My eyelids swung back up at the thought. Truth..? I must be going insane now, thinking of such absurd thing, what is there to lie about here? Are Kuro and the others hiding something? Or is it just me..?


My self conscience and intuition was always weird. Always making me think things as if they were very important. At most times it irritated me and was just referred to as an annoyance, though, this time...this time it’s different. I’ve never thought about others hiding information from me, but now that I know that I’ve always felt like I’ve been missing something in this head of mine..


I’m starting to get a different point of view onto things. Maybe they are hiding something..but then again maybe they’re not. But if they weren’t, then what other logical reason would there be that would explain this missing feeling I’ve had in my brain for so long? Surely something related to my memories of some sort.


‘Creak’



The door gave a soft whisper as it opened just slightly.


Looking up, I didn’t seem to recognize the person at first, but then it quickly hit me. It was just one of those freaky people in lab coats, there’s so many of them in this building that it’s just hard to simply memorize each and every one of their names and appearances.


The man didn’t step into my room, as if respecting my own private space, he peeked through the small gap that was formed between the thick solid wall and the plain door.


Having his hand come forth into view through the gap just a bit, lifting his index finger, making a inward motion as if gesturing for me to come outside. “Akai, please come outside,” he said with a raspy tone.


Despite the temptation to disobey his commands, I sat up from my once comfortable position, giving off a faint displeasing grunt at that. Lifting myself up from the edge of the bed, I complied to his orders and left my room.



“Lucky day for you isn’t it,” said the man that had just previously peeked into my room a few seconds ago. He held a medium sized clipboard in one hand, adjusting the rims of his glasses as it shone softly. A pen in one of his hand’s grip, creating quick motions with it, taking notes of things that I seem to never understand.


Confusion was written all over my face at his saying, ‘Lucky? When have I ever been lucky in the first place?’


Giving off the obvious expression of demanding answers before questions and misunderstandings began to cloud my mind like a thick fog, he spoke out the least expected I had in mind.



“You’re allowed to leave this place.”

Here I was again, standing in the midst of a crowding place where many people were bustling about. Eyes wandering around to spot a certain being from the rest. ‘And to think that I was finally free, of course there would be a catch’. I had to find a man, specifically according to what the founder said, it was a man around his 20s, an irish, I should be able to sense who it was accurately without having to know much more info about the man.


Just what did they want with the guy anyhow? Was he specialist of some sort? I knew they wouldn’t bother someone unless it was severely important and necessary. But to me it all seemed like a joke when I spotted the man.

It was all located in a nearby parkway, taking a leap into the air in effort to catch the inflated aircraft that tried to soar through the sky, just to be caught once more. The man landed back onto his feet steadily before handing the maroon balloon to a young boy beside him.


The child smiled so gratefully as he spoke in thanks, “Thank you so much mister!!,” the older man just replied with a small chuckle, “No problem, go on now, your mother is waiting for you.”


The boy ran back towards a woman that seemed to be around her thirties, thanking the man as well before resuming her stroll with her son around the park.


He just looked like any other ordinary human on this planet, but something about him did indeed feel attractive. No, it wasn’t sex appeal, though rather, it was something much more warm about the man. Something that most people have forgotten to develop in this world for centuries. Kindness was it? I shouldn’t jump into conclusions until I actually interact with the man later on.



A growl emitted from the lower area of my ribcage.



Of all times, really.

Well, a little snack shouldn’t hurt. I mean, this whole search could be put to a pause, despite that I’ve found the specified being already, any interactions with him could wait just a few more minutes.



Entering a small shop nearby my location, I took a glance at every product in the place that sat prettily behind the glassed shield. They were all sweets, decorated with frosting that was of course made purely of sugar and butter, though one stood out the most from them all that became so eye catching to me. Signalling the cashier which pastry I urged to purchase, I shuffled one of my hands into my pockets, just to realize something completely ridiculous.


‘Damn, my wallet..!’


Those damn freaks must have taken custody of it, thinking I might have planned to escape their dumbass task given to me and just run off to a different country. Then again why the hell would I do that, no one would accept a minor to travel elsewhere without an adult. Unless they only knew I would create a pause towards my work and decide to have a small snack. Just for that? That’s utterly ridiculous. I see no harm in trying to have small meal during my job, what the hell is wrong with them?



What a stupid question I asked myself,




Of course everything is wrong with them.

That’s something I would never forget.


Huffing in displeasure, I waved off at the cashier to cancel my purchase, that was until someone else avoided that to occur. “I’ll pay,” a familiar soothing voice spoke out in refusion of cancelling the order.



I’d be blind if I couldn’t recognize the man that I’ve just spotted just a few moments ago. Not only was his voice a dead giveaway, but so was those crismon strands that flowed slightly in sync along with his motions due to his short length. Freckles that laid almost unnoticeable underneath his vibrant sapphire eyes. He contained facial features so tender that his smile could almost have himself mistaken as a messenger from god.




Is that odd for me to say?




Surely..not...right?


I was still cautious as always, I can’t meddle myself with anything personal between another other than the freak of all freaks, specifically referring to Kuro.



I caught his arm in defense in saying ‘Don’t bother,’ though all I was able to receive from him was a little chuckle alongside with a brief smile, “It’s fine really, let me pay for you. That’s the least I can do for someone who’s especially hungry for something sweet, right?”.




This man is really odd.


Flipping out his wallet freely with one hand as he slipped out a few dollars with the other. He paid the cashier and handed me my desiring desert. I looked down at it for a couple of seconds and looked back up at him with slight confusion, blinking as a sign. He didn’t make any physical contact with me and just gave thumbs up, a while giving off a humourous wink as if trying to resemble support. “I won’t ask why you’re not with an adult right now, though I could understand. Trying to eat some sweets without getting caught by your parents, I support it! Don’t let them ever get to you! Eat all the candies you want little girl, for we all have to come to a stop one day, sooner or later.” He smiled brightly as if he were still a one year old, but still managing to keep his adult posture in tact.


Passing by me as he waved off casually, leaving the store.


The pastry still sitting in between my two palms stiffly, looking in the direction he last left, unable to murmur anything towards the recent event that had just taken place.


That man..really is weird.

It was the third day ever since I last encountered that man. You must be questioning why I still haven’t taken him into custody into this plain building that hid horrid things. Apparently, the freaks have extended my due date with that, I have about a week until I can actually bring him in. Enough time to do so, though a bit too much, oh well, not that it bothers me really.


I have caught an interest in that person, unlike the others that surround me these days. It’s quite rare to me, plus I don’t appreciate being in debt to someone.


I might as well try to spot him once more.

Already standing in the center of the park that I last saw him, I tried to catch a glimpse of the familiar man, but of course no one such as him was in sight.



Only families and a few couples and friends were around. Children scurrying across the plain green field, playing tag, giving out shouts of joy. Where others were either sitting down on mats, having a picnic or simply take pictures of the natural environment.


Realizing I have taken a seat onto a bench,’ I really am unconscious of my own instincts’. I shrugged of the minor thought and tilted my head upwards to gaze at the clear sky.

The clouds were moving slowly.

It’s going to be a long day isn’t it.


Unknowingly another presence has also taken a comfortable seating right next to me. The person took out a sketchbook as a led pencil was held in his right hand. Not averting the direction my head was face, my pupils still rotated to my left.



It was the weirdo.

Yes, I’ve actually gave him a name to refer to as.



Don’t you think it’s rather a perfect match?


Well I do, don’t judge, jeez.


“Oh it’s you again!” the weirdo exclaimed in slight surprise, his expression brightening a bit due to my appearance. I looked at him with a pokerface but he still didn’t seem bothered by the fact.


Though I can tell by the look in his deep blue sapphire eyes, he was a little distracted, the movements in his hand coming to a pause before quickly resuming. He was sketching, drawing, or however you’d like to say it.



‘Is he an artist?’




Peering over I knew I hit the jackpot.


He was sketching out a sunflower.

Not very manly of him is it?

He caught me in action and just smiled small that didn’t seem as creepy as what the freaks back in my place performed. It was fond grin, looking completely relaxed in his position and stated out as he drew, “It’s a sunflower..I’m sure you know what those are.”




‘Yep. Yes, I do.’

I responded in the back of my head as I waited for him to continue.



“You probably think it’s odd for a man to draw flowers right? That they’re usually for girls and all that,” he let out a soft chuckle that faded after a couple of seconds.


‘Yes it’s definitely odd, you’re a man. You don’t have curves my friend’.



“Though I think of sunflowers..as a deeper meaning.”


This time I looked at him directly, not knowing that I’ve unconsciously shifted a little more closer to the weirdo to hear out his story, also due to my sudden spark of curiosity towards the drawing process.


“They’re just like the sun..their center big as a heart, warmthful, as it’s rays would be their petals, with different shades of yellow. These shades..represent the different kinds of warmth in this world that are offered to us. Love, care, kindness, and so on. These are the sensations that we all experience during our lives or at least at some point. I like to believe it’s a gift for those who go through harsh times, a reward for the end. For those who really try, would be offered a ‘sunflower’.”


I listened without taking another breath, hearing his words seemed more like wisdom to me. Advice. Something I wish to take for the future of mine. But I can’t sadly, for I have no future whatsoever.



A sunflower waiting to be given to me at the very end.



How funny..


Without realizing, I have kept my expression the same as before, pokerfaced. He took a glance at me and made a sheepish laugh, “ Ah, I must be weird, right? Telling you such bizarre things.”


I shook my head in response, feeling a little guilty for keeping the previous look without taking notice.


‘It’s not bizarre, but you are indeed weird, I can tell you that.’


His apologetic look fading away immediately, as if he could tell what I was implying in my head, “So am I still weird?”. I nodded with no hesitation. He laughed once more at that, completely amused towards my answer. Extending his arm to pat my head lightly for a brief moment, he said in slight retort, “Well, so are you Ms. Silent.”


Not appreciating the statement, I bloated one side of my cheek to result in a pout, giving him a small glare in disagreement.







‘How rude! It’s not my fault I can’t have any verbal respondance towards anyone else besides the freaks! You’d be in big trouble if I did it to you! So be thankful you ungrateful weirdo!’




By the look of my face he could tell I was definitely angered but not raged, he chuckled at what he found an entertaining sight. “Really, you are so amusing to upset,” the corners of his lips curled upwards smoothly, giving off a kind yet casual smile.



I folded my arms bitterly as I looked to the opposite direction of his.




‘Who knew he could be such an annoyance!’



Suddenly blinking, he asked a question that was completely irrelevant towards the ‘conversation’ we were previously having. “That’s right, where are your parents? I haven’t seen an adult with you lately.” Giving a pause I shrugged a bit hesitantly. “Oh come on, even though they may have said not to speak with strangers, you must know where they are, it’s not you like don’t have any parents,” he said again in persistence, showing a look of worry and concern, revealing that he would not want to be involved in any misunderstanding.




I stayed silent at that, showing no emotion on my face, instead I looked down. My arms settled as my palms were faced upwards, staring into them as if they were the most interesting thing in the world. Parents.




‘I wonder..if I really have any. What are parents really..’




Taking notice of my state he immediately seemed struck, a look of disbelief coming into his facial features slowly. He spoke out in a calmer tone as if confirming something in particular, “You..do have parents, don’t you?”.


Finally looking back up at him, a blank expression given to him, displaying no familiarity with the word. Unknowingly, I felt something warm and wet slither it’s way down my cheeks from the corners of my eye slits. Feeling rather surprised at the sudden sensation, I brought my hands upwards to see what was possibly leaking from my sockets.




‘Tears?’


Feeling completely confused and lost, another sensation came coursing through-out my body, it was rather painful. It caused my body to shiver, my lips quivering in the slightest. It felt horrible, even worse since I didn’t know why I even started crying in the first place.



‘Why am I crying..? What’s wrong with me?’



Suddenly a flash of a broken memory played in my head.

A fatherly and motherly figure trying to run after me, their faces blurred due what seemed like speed of a vehicle that I was once residing in. Their cries were heard even through the windows, muffled slightly.




‘Stop.’


The figures began to fade away in distance.




‘Stop-!’

A hand hovered over my mouth in the image, trying to keep me from spilling out any yells and desperate cries for help.







‘STOP!!’


Without realizing, I was already a sobbing mess. Hiccups finding it’s way out my throat, as tears slid down the sides of my face, causing droplets to fall. I shut my eyes, fisting my palms and brought them up forth in effort to rub off all the unwanted moist liquids.



Suddenly, I felt two firm arms wrap around me warmly. Gently pulling me in slowly into a slightly tight yet tender hug. My head being rested against the man’s chest as I was pulled in affectionately. The warmth spreaded, easing my previous pain that developed so abruptly before.




Though the hiccups didn’t falter.





“It’s okay.”


Just those two words slipping out of his mouth, struck me directly in the chest. My eyes going wide but I soon relaxed as he held me closer. He was humming comfortingly to me, as if trying to numb away the remaining fragments of grief that stood still in my aching heart. The hiccups fading.




I should pull away, I know.

Heck, I didn’t even know the man personally and all, but..


Yes there’s my ‘but’, quite obvious isn’t it.



But really, in all honesty,




This man..





is a real weirdo.

Four days left until I can actually hand him in. But to be honest, I don’t want to do so at all. I don’t know what the freaks here wanted with him but I can tell for sure it wasn’t a pleasant topic to be spoken of. This man is too kind to bring in without any funny business getting involved. He was like any ordinary being roaming on this planet, but one of those who haven’t forgotten the warmth that use to be shared and given in the past. And those kinds of people are very rare.


‘Are they going to do the same thing they did to me?’


When I was first introduced here, I was lost. Very lost. I didn’t know what or where I was, heck I didn’t even know my own name! Or how I looked until I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Though by then, I was already a few years older than a toddler.


Being trained and given orders to eliminate certain people was all I was knew ever since. Though, I knew something was definitely wrong when I first became conscious of my own being. There was something missing. I didn’t know what it was but surely, these freaks have f*ed me up somehow before I could even become that lost child I was just a few years back.


‘Losing everything.’


My stomach churned at that. I..lost everything? That flash of memory from before was a big give away. Were those two people..that were chasing after me, actually trying to save me? Were they..


Pupils dilating at the thought, I finally came to a realization.


‘I can’t let that happen to him.’


I may not know him entirely, this weirdo. But for someone so kind and caring to still roam around this earth, I cannot bear to watch dissipate. He was..


My eyelids lowered halfway.


‘Like a father.’



Still laid onto my bed with the sheets hanging over to the side, I rotated my body and curled up. Hugging my knees, bringing them further into my chest as my arms were wrapped around them in support to hold them up.


I just want to get some rest before my head starts spinning due to all of these conclusions. It’s been a long day.. the only thing I look forward to so far now is seeing that weirdo again. I wonder what he’s even doing right now. A faint laugh slips out of my mouth at that.


‘When did I even start to actually care about this odd man.’


Finding my state rather humorous, I tried to close my eyes and drift off to a small nap. My eyelids were getting way too heavy to keep up, what a lazy body I have.


Just as soon as I was about to find myself in a peaceful slumber, a muffled sound was heard.


‘What the..?’

Sitting up straightly towards the sound, my senses became on alert. I lifted myself up slowly with little to no effort since I was just about to fall into a deep sleep. I found myself exiting my room with my plain white t-shirt and shorts on, wearing matching pallid slippers as well. Nothing too fancy, nothing too girly either, just something necessary for sleepwear.


I quietly walked down the hallways, attempting to not make a sound for there were still others, meaning the freaks, sleeping in this floor with their own closed area. It seems like no one else besides myself heard the sound from before, then again it’s understandable since I’m apparently the only one here who contains sharp hearing.


The muffled sound that was heard just previously soon became much more clear to my ear drums. Instead, it was a yell that was compressed. Must be due to it being concealed by a room and it’s thin walls, otherwise, I wouldn’t have heard it from such a distance, especially with my door closed shut.


There were no lights in this building since it was so late, but for some reason I was able to sense my surroundings still even if it was incredibly dark and nearly impossible to still be able to have perfect vision. Only then as I walked even deeper into the back of the building, was I able to see a faint light.


It was residing from a room not so far away now as I walked even further to the location. The only room that seemed to have it’s lights switched on. That’s weird.. definitely not right.


As I came closer the muffled yell was made once more, much more louder than before. It was akin to a scream.


‘Is someone hurt?’


Nearing the door of the room, I took a quick peek through the glassed window.


Cerise colored hair.


Azure irises.

Freckles naturally tainted on the cheeks.

Sun kissed skin.


‘Weirdo.’



The person couldn’t be mistaken for anyone else in the world. This man. Why is he here. Why?


The one person standing before the weirdo was the freak of all freaks. Those hawk eyes piercing through the irish’s skull, if looks could kill. The weirdo was strapped onto a chair, seated in the center of the small area. There was dark red stains on his clothing, completely visible and seeming so fresh as if it has just been placed there recently. The freak then took hold of the two arms that had been tied up behind the chair, bending them in a contradicting direction with much force.


The cracking sound of bones reaching its limits was faint through the window.

Another yell was formed.

Without a second thought my body acted on it’s own. Swinging the door open roughly, I heard it slam against the wall behind it with great impact. My gaze still adjusted onto the freak, feeling completely enraged.


‘What are you doing?! Stop it!’


The scream would have ripped out of my throat from such anger building up in the pit of my stomach, dashing towards the freak with developed fury. He looked at me in surprise for a mere moment until he caught my wrist. But that didn’t stop me from using other tactics to cause any severe pain towards him.


In a quick motion, I lifted my leg kicked him in the abdomen with great force. Bringing my other hand in, fingers closed, turning into a sharp form, then finally striking his cricoid cartilage. I swung my other leg to his side, causing him to fall onto the concrete floor harshly.


He began to cough dreadfully, attempting to inhale some oxygen to receive stable breathing. He was distracted and wounded, this will buy me enough time.


Quickly running over to the irish, I went behind to undo the restraints that held him down. The weirdo looked frantic, glancing at me weakly, “W..Why..What….What are you..doing here..?”. His voice was hoarse, desperately trying to stabilize himself without assistance.



‘I’m saving you obviously..-!”

I didn’t respond to him and just pried off the straps, letting him loose. I signaled him to hurry his ass up so he would be able to have chance of escaping this horrid place that I apparently resided in.


But it was too late.


No, it wasn’t the freak that gained his self conscious, but the other freaks that somehow managed to wake up in time to stop me from my intentions of saving the weirdo. Figures covered in white lab coats, surrounding the room and entering.


‘I won’t let you hurt him-! Why do you even want him?! He’s just a normal human being! That lives an ordinary life, of course not until you all had to fucking ruin it!’


Why do you care?


The sudden voice spoke within me, pausing me in my tracks.


I shouldn’t have done that.


For I then felt a sharp substance pierce into my neck, inserting unknown liquids that have quickly taken effect on my physical state. My legs shook within seconds, twisting and turning, trying to brush off the freaks that tried to grab hold of me.

But it was no use.


My body was weakening greatly, so much that I could barely even hold my own stand. Knees dropped to the ground, bending downwards as my palms faced flat against the surface for support. The freaks took this opportunity and man, they used it so well. Not that I’m complimenting them. But for christ’s sake, if they didn’t do it, I would have knocked them all down at some point in resistance.


The freaks cuffed my wrists together behind my back, dragging me out the room. Eyes began to fill up with hatred before they lost light.


‘No..Stop.’


The weirdo’s figure was still visible for a few seconds.

His hands urging to reach towards me, to grab hold of me securely.

A desperate look washed over his face.


Just like them.

Just like that time.

Before this all happened.


‘I’m sorry..I couldn’t save you.’


‘I’m sorry.’


‘But you won’t forgive me right? Just like..the rest.’

Nine am in the morning and I still couldn’t get some sleep. Everything that has happened last night was like a meteor crashing into my face. I lost another one. But no, he wasn’t another one. He was different than the rest, why I care huh. He’s one of those rare people I’ve been telling you about a lot lately. It’s just difficult to get hold of something so precious just to suddenly have it taken away from you. In front of your own very eyes as well. There was a sharp stinging in my upper chest area. It felt as if a bee was trying to break through by attacking my inner skin layers with it’s stinger, so very persistent.


I finally lifted my eyelids open, I was laying on my bed as always. As if nothing had occurred from the previous night.


A knock was then made the moment I tried to adjust myself.


‘Who is it now. Can’t you tell by the silence that I’m trying to comfort myself you f*ing annoying freaks.’


My thoughts were filled with curses of those that I hated so much, I was still pretty angry after all. It’s only been a few hours since then.

I heard the doorknob from the other side of the door turn, accessing whoever was irking me to get into the room. Just another freak with those goddamn annoying lab coats on and a breathing mask hovering over the mouth.


“Akai, please get out.”


The man commanded unwaveringly, still holding the doorknob tightly cautiously as if I were to pounce him at any second. I still can’t disobey orders though, despite from what I did last night.


Stop looking into the past, Akai.


The voice echoed again within me, even though I had no clue what it was, all I could guess was that it was my conscience. What else was I suppose to conclude at the moment? I got no time to think deeply when someone’s been captured and tortured just a few hours ago.


Stop.


There it was again. I exhaled a little deeply, trying to suppress the anger that was tempting to be revealed mercilessly in front of all the freaks in this building. I walked out of my room and stood before one of the freaks, there was no clipboard being held by him unlike the other one that was patient with me.


He looked at me with a calm gaze, speaking in a monotone, “The man from yesterday, Ao Koji. I’m sure you know who I’m speaking of precisely. In case you’re wondering, he is safe.”


Lies.


“He is currently in his own residence, doing his daily routines or whatever...normal people do these days really. You may go outside and meet with him in his household, you have been given permission. Here is the address.”


Practically shoving a note in my palms, he then turned around and left, resuming back to his own work.


‘Good riddance.’

I look down, staring at the note and just flipped it over to read over the written address to what seemed to be the weirdo’s house.


‘Though, His name is..or was... Ao? A weird name to match a weird person. Very very weird. But I’m still going to call him weirdo.’


Heading back into my room, I got dressed in a rush and hurried back out, sprinting out of the building gladly. I headed outside without wasting another second.


Not wanting to seem suspicious as an oblivious burglar, I slowed down my pace and walked, taking a certain route. If he is still alive though..I wonder how he’s doing...what’s he doing..perhaps he’s having breakfast right now? I hope he didn’t get injured too badly.


Man I’m such a worried mother duckling. All I’ve been doing so far this morning was quack quack and quack. I slipped my hand back into my side pocket of my jacket, shuffling to sense a familiar papery texture and pulled out the note. I took another glance at the address and nodded very little to myself as if confirming the location.


To get the weirdo’s address the freaks must have surely tracked him down or beat him to a pulp to spill it out unless the weirdo was completely eager and willing to give out such personal information, especially his name. If he did that, he wouldn’t be a weirdo anymore.


He’d be a freaking idiot.


But I can already tell he wouldn’t do such a thing unless it was one of the other choices I had made up in my mind. For he will always be a weirdo.


My footsteps slowly came to a stop, small puffs of steaming escaping my lips as I looked up to see a certain house before me. It was a small place to live it, but had the very homey feeling to it. Petite but just right to live in for any ordinary or caring person as this one.


A constructed button was located near the entrance door, raising my arm to press my index finger against it, having the doorbell ring softly throughout the house.


I heard footsteps coming towards my way.


He’s coming.

Or so hopefully it’s him.



Metallic sounds were heard behind the door, what sounded more like locks being undone. The door opened slightly just to peer over and see who it what, but the moment the person spotted me, the door immediately flew right open abruptly. The familiar man’s expression brightened rapidly, his smile shone where his voice was filled with relief, “You’re okay-!!”.


A sudden hug was given to me, the warmth so similar to before eased my tensions and previous anger a little but the tightness of the hug was not helping one bit.


I choked very little due to the lack of air and he instantly let go at that, worry taken over his face from his actions.

“Aah, I’m sorry!,” he patted the snowflakes off my coat despite more was falling anyhow due to the weather in this state. Once he was done, he pulled away and looked at me apologetically, still he made a sheepish grin and gestured me to enter his residence.


“Please come in, I’m really sorry for doing that to you, I hope I didn’t hurt you,” he said a little more casually and laughed weakly.


Confusion clouded my head once again, taking a seat in the dining room. “I’ll go get you a drink, just sit there and look pretty,” he said a little more humorously before heading off to the kitchen and preparing the drink.


I still sat down with stillness, looking down at the rich colored table that looked to be recently polished.


‘How can you still be like this despite what happened just a few hours ago?’

‘Still being able to smile like that..seem so funny. As if nothing’s ever even happened.’


‘How...why..’


‘I don’t understand you.’


He should be a wreck right now, crying? Screaming? Yelling? Dying? Never wanting to get out of his room or something like that?


But instead, he’s just here, standing, without a sweat.

Smiling warmly with no fret.

Laughing so casually yet weakly,

Yet he manages to speak to me so freely.


Footsteps were making it’s way to the dining room, the weirdo carefully placed a cup filled with tea. The small streams of tea seeping out of the hot liquid, I simply stared at it. Too deep in thought to actually avert my intense gaze.


“Are you okay?,” his voice broke through my thoughts, sounding very concerned as he took a seat just across from me, opposite from my spot. I looked up back at him with an apologetic expression and gently took hold of the cup, carefully placing the rim against my lips to take a small sip.


“Be careful, it’s quite hot..” he said a little more warningly, but smiled small as he watched, “Do you like it?”. Placing the cup back down onto the table carefully, I nodded slowly.

It was really delicious, I think I might even become a tea fan.

Green tea precisely.


Glancing up, I gave a more serious look, almost as if questioning the obvious of what happened not too long ago.


His expression faded at that, still smiling but it reduced to a minimum, his eyes turning a bit sorrowful.


“I’m sorry.”


My eyes widened for a brief moment at the sudden saying coming right out of his mouth. ‘Sorry? Sorry?! I should be the one apologizing! I failed to save you so what are yo-’


Taking notice of my face change, he shook his head lightly at that as if he could read my mind. “I’m sorry you had to see that..or much less...get involved. I didn’t think that of all places, you’d be living there. I..” his words trailed off, seeming very sorry, more than he should be and glanced downwards. I continued to stare, waiting patiently for him to continue. He took notice once he caught a glimpse of my look and did so.


“I have to go back.”


The sudden decision outraged me, I stood up abruptly and slammed my fists into the table, shaking it and causing the cup to rattle on top of it. I was in complete shock, disbelief at his words, narrowing my eyes at him as if he were crazy from the statement.


He still seemed calm and looked at me with understandment flashing through his eyes. He lowered his tone, “ It’s for the best. Plus, it’s not like I can avoid it you know? And don’t say you’ll protect me, because you think a man wants to be rescued by a little girl? I’d be very embarrassed,” he said the last part even more jokingly but the joking tone quickly faded once silence settled in again.


He smiled more reassuringly.

“ I really am..sorry. They..they’re just going to do surgery on me. A few changes here and there, you know.”


His eyelids lowered just a bit.


“ I..may not be the same though.”


I couldn’t accept this, it was too much for me. I stood up and walk around the table to face him, looking at him upsettingly. My fists were clenched in anger and disappointment, but the moment he stood up from his chair and tried to utter out another word, I clinged onto him.


My arms spreaded and were latched onto him like a snake, not wanting to pull away from the man, and yet not even giving him a chance to do so.

‘No...don’t leave me...don’t..please.’

‘I don’t want to lose you.’

‘Not you too, not again...not like them.’


He felt a little surprised at the sudden action but complied, returning the affectionate gesture and held me close. A grin that became even more fond, resulting with a tender expression.


It felt so nice like this.

For once in my life..or perhaps it’s just been so long since I’ve been held so lovingly like this.


By a parent.


After a while we both parted slowly and looked at each other as if we were a family that was being separated.

Again.



Salty tears were formed onto the corners of my eyes, tempted to fall down just like before but he didn’t allow it. Bringing his hand upwards to brush his finger pad across the corners to wipe them away. He smiled small at me caringly, his sapphire eyes illuminating for a mere moment.


“Don’t worry..I’ll still be alive.”

But you won’t be you.

You won’t be the same.



“After everything...clean your room. Tell me you will, can you promise me that?”


I nodded in response.

‘Jeez you’re not my dad..I wish you were. Though despite this being weird request just like yourself, if that is all I can do for you..all that I’m able to..

..then yes.’


‘I promise.’


Later on, he lead me out of the house and gave me one last hug before it was time for me to return to the freak’s place. He still kept that smile even when I walked away, I could tell very easily. And it was indeed proven once I tried to glance back one more time before it was the last of him the I saw, the same him. He was still smiling very warmly like the sun.




Goodbye.

Cold it was in my room. This has been the coldest it’s ever been, just then the atmosphere has been shifting a lot lately since that day. That day we parted. I could still remember his welcoming posture where his expression was as serene and calming as always. So caring and lovable..just like..a guardian. A parent.


It’s 2 days past the due date and I haven’t seen him since 3 days before it. He most likely has already brought himself in. If I recall correctly, I heard a disruptence just yesterday of a newcomer and they had to ‘converse’ of certain things in another at the far end of this building.


Nearby the one that he was tormented in.


The freaks said that it would be done in 18 hours. It’s way past that now. I wonder..if...the weirdo is-




Two light knocks were made onto the other side of the door of my room. Seemed like one of the freaks came by to ‘visit’. But instead of being all polite, the door flung open in impatience, revealing the freak of all freaks. He looked almost wanting to growl, obviously upset at me from the previous event. I disgraced him greatly at the time, but it’s not like I regret doing such a disastrous thing. He just needs to deal with it.




He grumbled out with a slight raspy voice, “Get out, I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t mind seeing your little friend.” I perked up at that, the way he pronounced the last word with such intensity as if it were a contagious disease but there was definitely a mix of anger in there.






“Hurry up. Now.”




I didn’t want to see the weirdo in that state but I couldn’t disobey him and make things worse than it already was. I forced myself to get back up on my two feet and exited the room. I was then lead down the hallways towards the near end of the building to a specific room number.






‘001’



The number was displayed out in the view, right above the door, carved into the metallic label. I stretched my arm outwards, my fingers wrapping around the doorknob carefully as anxiety tried to make it’s way up and down my arm. I was feeling nervous, just by telling the small sweaty droplets beginning form and slip down slowly, prickling my skin a little due to the sensitivity. I rotated my hand clockwise, causing a ‘Click’, and detattacht it from the wall.



As the gap between the door and the wall grew, so did the clearness of the view that was awaiting for me behind the thin walls.




The weirdo was seated properly in a chair that was located in the center of the room. There seemed to be nothing wrong with him, though..there was certainly something different.



There was no light within his sapphire eyes. Those eyes that use to be so reassuring and relaxing.




Even if this one smiled the same way.

It just wouldn’t be the same.




Despite him still sitting there normally like any other human being, breathing, anyone could tell that this man..





..was already gone.




It was like the dead coming back to life.




Except no blood, no scar, no ugliness.



Just completely dull, with no life residing in his eyes.



A machine, a robot, however you would want to call a man that’s alive..but already dead.




He simply stared at me, there was no care in his movements, no flinching, not reaction towards my exposion. As if..he didn’t know me.




As if..he couldn’t see me.





Hear me.





Read me.




This wasn’t Ao at all. But it was Ao.




This wasn’t the weirdo.





The weirdo.. has already left this world.






Without me.



A while after I met Ao, back from the dead. I barged into my room angrily, thrashing about. I turned the small coffee table over that was near my bed, throwing the vase filled with lilies into a wall, the crash echoed around, bouncing off the walls. Water splashed and wet the concrete floors, aligning it’s streams alongside with the design of the solid surface. Knowing I should come to a stop of creating any more chaos in my room and just settle down. I didn’t want the freaks to enter my own room and question ‘just what the hell is going on’ and such, or simply pity me. I wouldn’t desire that one bit.




To avoid such a situation I threw away my strength and any remainings of my anger into my mental state, letting out a screech of agony, filled with depression, grief, feeling completely mournful. I let my body drop down onto the mattress as exhaustion tried to make it’s way into my system.



I could feel warm wetness slithering it’s way down my cheek bone.





I wanted to cry.


But I couldn’t. Not when the freaks are still here, especially Kuro.




I’ve never felt so miserable before in my whole life span..but perhaps I have..I can’t say that. That fragment of memory during that time was still evidence that the freaks did something to my brain. Made me forget something that I wasn’t suppose to.




Turning my body to one side, I was tempted to curl up in my bed sheets, never uncover myself and just fall into an eternal sleep. But of course that wouldn’t help things as they are.



Finally a remembrance played in my head, poking me to notice quickly as if it were very important.




After everything...clean your room…



Ah that’s right...the weirdo wanted me to clean my room for some odd reason. I don’t know why but..it was a promise that I made. A promise I couldn’t break, no matter how weird it was. What did I expect from the weirdo? A request that was possibly normal? Last words of wisdom? Hah..nope….just..




..clean your room Akai. Clean your whole room.




It’s been two hours trying to fix up this whole damn mess that I’ve created in my personal space. Like seriously, in just a few seconds I’ve managed to create a racket in this place, something that would take hours to actually tidy up neatly. But finally it was done and over with, a small sigh escaped my throat. Letting myself plop down once more against my soft blanket that I’ve recently rearranged on my bed.




My head that rested against the pillow shifted to one side, but then for some reason..it felt a little uncomfortable. There was a slight nudge coming from underneath the pillow.




I let my hand slither up beneath the case and felt a rather strange object. At first it felt like sandpaper but next, there was another that felt like regular computer paper that contained folded edges.




I sat up carefully and lifted the silky cushion.



There laid a flower with yellow vibrant petals that had different shades, besides it was a letter that was fairly thin and folded neatly.



Reaching for it, I took hold of the letter first, ripping off the top rim since I didn’t really have the patience to peel off the concealed flap. I sinked two fingers in, where a letter soon rested in between the two fingers. Unfolding it, it was a normal letter to a person with printed writings.




Until I looked even more closely and began to read.






Dear...do I really need to write that? Haha, oh whatever. Hey Ms. Silence, yeah you heard me. Well you can’t technically hear me but..oh you know what I mean! Good thing you cleaned your room though! Otherwise you wouldn’t find this letter. It’s me, Ao. If the those freaky guys in the lab coats told you already.





A faint chuckle left my lips at that, trying not to sound choked as I read. They are indeed freaky.


I guess you can say I’m that weirdo you saw and comforted you when you were being a ‘crybaby’ haha. Anyhow, I’d like to tell you that..if you’re really reading this right now. Then..I mostly likely gone huh? Yeah..I’m sorry. I didn’t want to leave so suddenly like that. I really am sorry..but I know apologies can’t make up for it so..here’s a little something for you. I’m sure you’ve noticed the plant that was also placed beside this letter.



I glanced back down at the flower resting beside me now, and resumed reading.


You’ve gone through a lot, despite not knowing your name and all. I still got to know who you were inside. Information isn’t needed at all for something like this.



But really, you deserved it.


Going through so much and still standing.



Fate always keeps it’s promise.




So here.




Keep it, cherish it, love it, hold it.



However you show your care and affection.




I will reside in this.




This is for you, a promised gift.








Your sunflower.



There was his drawing of the sunflower which now resided below the very end of the paper.


My other hand held up the plant, caressing the stem. Droplets landed onto the letter, an endless stream already flowing with no holding back. Sitting there in slight shock as the emotions came rushing in like a wave.





‘You really were a weirdo.’



Hiccups broke out from my mouth, wanting to hug the man that once comforted me before with such care. That held me, understood me, without needing me to speak any words at all. I brought the sunflower close to my chest, being able to feel a small familiar warmth emitting from it. Just like him. This parental..fatherly sensation, as if his spirit was sealed away into this flower. I knew that for a brief moment, it illuminated in response.




Lips parting very little to let out my gratitude.


The words I wished to mutter out to him before he himself faded.






. . .





“Thank you.”