My heart started racing a mile a minute. I grabbed hold of Christopher’s hand out of fear. He pulled me up off the dry carpet floor, soon to be soaking in water for the rest of its existence. His grip was firm, and comforting. I saw not to far off, in the darkness of the hallway, the quivering forms of Justice and Analise heading our direction.


“No!” I gasped, quietly. They couldn’t suffer the same fate as mine! They just couldn’t. Justice held sobbing Analise to his chest, and led her towards us. The boat creaked again. Justice froze.


“Celeste,” his lips formed the words, and the rest I could barely hear over the rushing waters.


“I’m scared,” his chin trembled ever so slightly, but he wouldn’t let his little sister see that he was truly terrified. He held my notepad in his hands, and I remembered my promise to him. Perhaps I could hurry and draw the picture before we met our deaths. I hurriedly grabbed the sketchpad and started outlining the hugging forms of Justice and Analise. Christopher kept a hand on my shoulder all the while, but I never looked away from the paper; I was going to finish it. My pencil flew up and down across the sheet with swift skill…for we didn’t have much time. My eyes darted up towards them, then back towards the paper, as I strained to see in the dingy light.


“Celeste!” screamed a voice from down the hallway. I didn’t look up, though I heard it perfectly clearly. I continued my sketch.


“What?” I yelled back, not bothering to stop what I was doing.


“Stop drawing and help me find some food! Andrew found life boats!” Called my mother’s frantic voice. I still didn’t stop. The direction of the voice came from the left of me, and it was urgent, but I continued on.


“Celeste!” yelled my mother, so fiercely. I never stopped.


“Stop it! Stop your useless drawing! We’re going to die if you don’t find something to eat! Stop being so stupid, Celeste!” she screamed. I could feel her presence right beside me. I finally turned my head, to see a desperate figure, clutching a small bag of food. It didn’t take me long to realize my whole family was in the sinking vessel.


“Mother, we are going to die! Would you want your last words to be telling your daughter how stupid she was?” I spat.
I turned back to my drawing but, the boat flipped slightly more upward, and threw me against the wall, and with water rushing into the current hallways, I knew death was coming. Everyone picked themselves up. I clutched my notepad to myself, and started weeping as I saw fatality approaching. Darkness and doom rang trough my ears, coming ever so much closer. Christopher grabbed my hand and rushed towards the deck, followed by Analise, Mother, and Justice. The rays of sun barely reached over the crushed front of the boat. We all hurried crossed the deck and towards the railing, and threw ourselves into the water below. The water swallowed my body as I rushed away from the liner. I tried to avoid getting suck down. The bow of the ship flipped totally erect, and plunged quickly, who knows how many feet below. I felt the wavy water twist my hair and about my arms. I stared in horror, and consumed with fear as the beautiful ship continued sinking towards the bottom. It screeched and groaned up at me, making chills fly up and down my arms. My heart raced with regret and mourned for the elegant ship. My face was submerged undersea, and I didn’t even realize, till Christopher grabbed my shoulders and yanked me out of the water and flung me into a lifeboat. I coughed up water, and leaned back against the small boat’s hardness. When I looked about, there were three lifeboats, all containing family members (Except for Christopher). Andrew was on one, with a dry, but devastated face. Mother, Analise, and Justice were huddled together with mournful expressions, and Christopher and I sat alone, dripping with water. Everyone was deathly still; you could no longer hear the echoing sound of the ship’s desperate groans, too far away to reach our ears. The sun was sinking behind the distance like our hearts drooping with hopelessness, and like the ship descending far beneath the waves that lapped against our small, floating crafts.
You may think we were safe, but it just prolonged our lives for only a few days, I knew that full well. I had no idea where mother had but her bag packed with food, and by the time help would reach us, it would be too late, with lack of water and needed supplies. I understood that, no matter what, we were going to die. Not only I, but everyone bobbing up and down around me with the pattern of the waves knew our fate was sealed.
The next morning, with my stomach groaning, and my throat aching with dryness, I decided to finish my sketch. I sat at the edge of the boat, staring out at my family huddled together. Mother held Analise in her tightly in her arms, and then hugged Justice close to her chest. I just needed to finish the outline of their faces, since I already captured the hugging forms. With Christopher peeping over my shoulder, I began to finish the best drawing I had ever made. Its shadings were so real and authentic it appeared to be an actual photograph. Perhaps the thought of the end drawing near urged my innermost talent to make the best of the best. Justice had never looked so proud when I handed him the drawing. He beamed and laughed joyfully even amongst our saddened faces. It sparked a hope, but was snuffed quickly with reality. He gave me a look that almost brought tears to my eyes. He never once looked so proud of his big sister. I knew I loved him, but something inside me said that I loved him more than I ever thought possible. He gently handled my masterpiece then, happily handed it over to Analise’s hands that quivered with gratefulness. When the picture was done, another full day had past, and I already felt weaker and longed for a better life, a better tomorrow, if that was to come. My head hurt from the blaring sun, and the continuous rocking of the water. The lapping of cool undrinkable water would relieve the sweat that beaded on my body in the day, but the nighttime chills couldn’t be comforted. I began to ponder what life really was all about and how I spent it. Every minute now was precious, with death just around the corner.
With the closing of another day, Justice decided to climb into our boat. It was a struggle, since we all were so weak with hunger and thirst. I kept thinking of Sophie and her hands folded sweetly at the dinner table, and my impatience. I was so hungry and tired. The images of mashed potatoes and gravy and Mother’s miraculous food billowed through my mind. Justice sat close to me, and suddenly grasped my hand with urgency. His hand was warm, and life filled his hold. Everything was dead still and completely silent, except for the waves that lapped against the sides of the small boat. Justice looked compliant and eager for something. His pale face glowed with enthusiasm and his cheeks reddened with joyfulness.
“Look into the water!” he whispered, hoarsely. He and I leaned over the edge. I clutched the side of the craft tightly and peered into the blueness of the water, tinted with the redness of the evening sun. I saw nothing but ripples that swirled about, at first. Then, my vision began to blur and the waves looked black. It tersely, to my horror, became a struggle to breathe. I gasped inward, only to find I couldn’t do it again. Fear consumed me; I never had this difficulty before. I could no longer inhale the freshness of the salty air, and the comfortable breeze that gloated about evening time. I then realized that I was dying. Darkness and fear consumed my utmost being. I was even more scared than I was on the ship. Experiencing death was different than anything I had ever imagined, or ever will again. Suddenly, my vision began to brighten; I saw clear sea green waves that lashed about me. I found I was no longer gazing at the water, but in the water. They were cool, but as we lurched forward, they began to warm. Justice, in spite of everything, held my hand. In death, I thought I’d feel a deep sense of loneliness, but I didn’t. I was scared, but the thought of Justice clutching my hand gave me the strength that is indescribable, and the courage that was impossible to explain. Justice’s grip was warm, but mine had gone cold with the tightness of our hold on each other’s destiny. I found Justice was yanking me-yanking me towards a distant island. The current pulled at me, but my feet abruptly struck sand that buried my toes. I leaned forward, all the while, scared to death, because I never took a breath in a full minute. My lungs felt like they were going to burst.
“Don’t be afraid!” Justice called. I was scared, but I wasn’t terrified, because I knew Justice wouldn’t let me go. He was facing the same fate, and I wasn’t abandoned. He seemed so sure of himself, and certain that whatever happened, wherever we were taken-we were going to be all right, because we were together. He strode ahead, dragging me along. All I could see was his blonde hair, and pure, white shirt dazzling in the sun, with his pale feet kicking towards paradise. The island we were rushing towards was unlike any I had ever seen, with its golden shores, and colorful plants more vivid and real than I had ever envisioned. My heart longed for oxygen, but couldn’t get it. Burning, cold sensations stung my fingers with lack of air. I gazed at Justice’s once sandy blonde head turning into a burning flaxen, glowing in glory’s sun. We rushed on tiredly through the current commanding us to go back. Justice still clutched my right hand, and something gripped my left. I believed it to be God, Himself encouraging me to go forward towards my only hope. If it was God, his hand was young and strong and carried the comfort of the world. Paradise, only a few feet away, with sturdy trees that would never die, even as I tell this story years later, the beauty still sways in the forever-warm breeze. My hands and lungs tingled with tiredness as I realized what death was really like-the most difficult thing you will ever experience. Oh, but Heaven! The place where no tears were to be shed ever again, lay right before my eyes. It was my goal, and I had to reach it! Its skies of the purest blue, and its air of the purest scent were at our fingertips. The sound of rushing waters mixed in with the faint, melodious music making our hearts yearn for heaven even more than before. I felt a connection with my dear brother that I had never felt in a long while. I loved him more than ever before. I sensed that our hearts and yearnings and dreams were connected, and that we’d find our destiny in what lied ahead. We were semi-close in life, but we clutched each other in the end. The end, coming nearer and nearer; so close, and yet so far; so wonderfully perfect and there was no way fear was going to let me turnaround and return to time drenched with hunger. We were almost at its shore, Justice a step ahead of me, struck the golden sand, then-
SNAP! His grip was gone; he let me go without hesitation. I couldn’t go on with out him pulling, I had no strength. The thoughts of being blown and tossed by the ways for eternity entered my mind. A huge, wave sucked me away from him. I tried my hardest to keep my head above the water, but it sloped up to block my view of Justice with its rainbow sea foam glowing with iridescence. The salt stung my nose with sea filth and burned my eyes. I couldn’t see Paradise! I was sucked underwater, it’s once clear, glimmering waves turned to a murky black, when-
“Celeste!” screamed a voice. I felt myself being lugged out of the water, then thrown onto something hard. I gasped. I could breathe! I slid my hand across the lifeboat’s wooden side, and opened my eyes.
“Christopher?” I groaned, a familiar groan. He leaned over me; water beaded his hair, making it look like a dark black. His face was tired, and very concerned. I was exhausted; I choked on mortal sea waves. But, I abruptly sat up; realizing Justice wasn’t in the boat. I looked about me, everyone was solemn, their lips were sealed like someone had just slipped away unexpectedly.
“Christopher! Justice had gone to Heaven before me! I got a glimpse of Paradise!” I tersely stopped yelling, and leaned back, in exhaustion. I heaved in gulps of air, relaxing my aching lungs. Christopher just stared at me.
Yes, Justice made it first, he made it before me, but he was waiting for me. I stared up at the sky, and began to think of Heaven differently. The pureness of the clouds made my thoughts deepen, as they trailed off into the cerulean of the seemingly unending universe. Heaven is real; I saw it with my own eyes! And one day soon, I was going to be there, since there’s not much potency to continue the laborious journey. I was hungry, I was tired, but why was I still there? Why did God let me see a glimpse, only to snatch it back, taking my brother with Him? And death is almost intolerable! Only to think to suffer through it once, only to be revived to suffer again, later!
You may believe, with the loss of Justice, that I would be consumed with grief. I was not. I only felt a little sad, but it was tucked away by a strong sense of ecstasy that he had made it! I saw with my own eyes the place where he would forever dwell, and I knew it was a happy place. Though he was absent, I knew I was going to see him so soon, before long. And he was standing on the shore of Paradise waiting for me.
As I gazed into the blue abyss, my eyes seemed to have played tricks on me. That, or I inhaled too much seawater. With the salt settling on top my thirsty tongue, and the sun coming to rest in the wavy deep, I believed to see a flash of Paradise soar across the sky, but only momentarily. It’s beggaring description, intensity and beauty with Justice in the center of it all; gazing at me with his emerald eyes, and his hand stretched out longingly.
I slumped over into a deep sleep. When I woke up, it was dark outside, but the murky blue blanket sparkled with stars, and the moon was full and huge, making everything glow a pale, bright cobalt. I turned over only to see Christopher lying beside me. His body, and nose stared directly at the moon, and his eyes never blinked. A bright spark shone in his dark pupils, like a diamond in a shadowy cave. I sat up startled, thinking that he had died sometime during the night, for I heard no noise from him, only noise of a breathless sleeper. I ached with weariness, so I lay on my side, and stared at him.
“Christopher?” I whispered. He didn’t budge, only his lips moved slightly.
“The Savior has been born,” he managed. I thought he was losing his mind.
“What do you mean by that?” I asked, propping up my head, with the help of my arm.
“It’s Christmas. Doesn’t seem like it, since it’s so balmy and gorgeous, but back at our home it’s snowing,” he began, “Well, I should say, ‘it’s almost Christmas’, tomorrow is Christ’s birth,” he said. He finally crooked his head to look at me.
“Well, Merry Christmas,” I said, weakly. We were quiet for a long while. Then I asked him the question I had been pondering, since my early adventure.
“Christopher, why do you think God sent me back, only to die a few days later?” I began, “I mean, I almost felt, since I could sense him holding my hand, that he was encouraging me to move towards Paradise.”
Christopher turned back towards the moon. He looked hesitant to enlighten me.
“I needed someone to tell my mother something, and I didn’t want anyone, but you to tell her,” he kept staring, suddenly starting to gasp, as it had became a burden to breathe.
“Tell her I’m sorry, she’ll know what for,” Tears started coming into his eyes and streaming down his face. I couldn’t help, but also shed a few tears for his pitiful state.
“Christopher, we are all going to die, not just you,” I pleaded, as if that fact would somehow make him feel better. He shook his head, like he was refusing to tell me something.
“If I could have another sister, out of every girl in the whole world, I would want you,” he stated, matter of factly, like nothing would ever change his stubborn mind.
I sighed.
“Christopher, your death bed is talking,” I smirked. He smiled, and stopped his crying. Unexpectedly, I began to suffer shortness of breath, but I tried my best not to show it. It was funny-I was trying to be brave for his sake. The poor dear. He was always a good friend to me…I was the wild one of the bunch. He was calm and intelligent…and quiet. I wished I knew him better. To think that this boy, almost a man came back for me. I regretted all the times I didn’t talk to him. I would have never guessed in all my days that I would die by his side. I couldn’t choose a better person to hear my last words.
Christopher started his helpless laughing, recollecting something. His breathlessness, lightening, somewhat.
“I know who left you those love notes,” he said simply, with a mysterious look written across his forehead.
“Who? Was it you?” I asked, eagerly.
“No,” he shook his head with a fit of laughter.
“Then who?”
“It was Mark,” he said. I furrowed my brow and shook my head, then started to giggle weakly along with Christopher.
“That crazy kid! He is so unpredictable!” I said, hoarsely.
Moonbeams spewed across Christopher’s smiling face. Amongst the tragedy and the constant bobbing of the boat, I sensed hope grow inside my heart. It started as a seed, then grew into a flower. Hope shows up at strange times, and the most doubtful moments. Suddenly, I felt an urge to say something.
“I love you, Christopher,” I said, before I could think about it. He laughed harder than before, and blushed. I covered my mouth, not believing that I had just said that.
“Celeste, your death bed is talking,” he replied. I nodded in absolute agreement.
“Ok, since you look like a fool, I’ll say it to, ‘I love you like a sister’,” he chuckled. I could tell he felt better. My stupid, random sentences made him laugh. I certainly felt better, and happier. I flipped over, and joined his staring at the blue moon.
“Wait, Christopher, you didn’t answer my question. Why do you think God sent me back, only to die a few days later?” I said, sincerely. He looked down, guiltily and sighed. I furrowed my brow, pondering why he was acting this way.
“I saw Paradise, but it was too far away. I somehow knew, I had to turn back,” his chin quivered, and tears glistened in his eyes, once more.
“I didn’t want to die alone,” he managed, breathlessly. I could barely hold my head up with my overwhelming fatigue.
“But that doesn’t explain how I was pulled back,” I said, with fought inhalations. He was quiet for a long time. I turned my face towards him, and weakly put a hand on his shoulder. He closed his eyes, letting a last, bitter tear escape his tired eyes. His breathing was shallow, and slow, but so was mine. He smiled, feebly.
“I was holding your hand,”
I patted my hand that was placed on his shoulder, comfortingly.
“If you were frightened at the thought of dying alone, then don’t let go,” I whispered. So, he rested his hand on top of mine.
I fell asleep, never releasing his shoulder. During the night I felt someone tightly squeezing my hand, but then the stiffness subsided. My slumber was deep, and wonderful. It was blackness, and more blackness till and unexpected-

Thump! I flipped out of the boat and onto-sand! Our crafts had struck an island! I rubbed my legs against its warm sandiness, and screamed with unending joy. I looked about me, there was large palm trees, and healthy green leaves and bushes. People started peeping out at us, and I recognized some of them. I beamed and cried tears of joy. My Mother hugged Analise to herself with the bright sun blazing down on their genuine grins. Andrew pulled the boats ashore, his face flushed from the two days without water.
My family all began rushing away to meet those familiar faces that were overcome with joyfulness when they saw we were still alive! There were many hugs and tears of delight, with the happiness of reunion.
But amongst all the happiness, I sat there- realizing that we were forgetting something. I listened to the laughter and chatter that chided about me, but I had to ponder something. Something, something that needed to be wondered about. I stared at my boat that was rudely flipped over. It was empty-in other words, someone was missing. Where was Christopher? I sat up and blankly stared at the toppled craft, with the ocean behind it stretching every which direction. Without anyone telling me, I knew what happened. I knew exactly what happened. I recognized that sometime, during the promising thoughts of hopefulness, despair, love, laughter, and silence, that Paradise came. With Christopher’s shallow breath, I knew that he must have slipped away during the night. Death had come, and grasped his hand, but he clasped my hand to find the confidence and the courage to push himself forward. With that comforting thought, he wasn’t scared. I gazed at the rising sun, letting no tears of pain come to my eyes. Only tears of laughter that he was free, and he was with my Justice. He was far away, somewhere that was not imaginary, it was real. I put a hand on the craft’s rough wood, and smiled at the rushing waves.
“Celeste! Come on!” came a laughing voice. I beamed with happiness as I raced across the small beach and through the forest of palm trees the tilted over with age. There, some ways from the shore, many people gathered around a huge table covered with steaming food, surrounded by drolly faces.
“Merry Christmas!” Everyone cheered in harmony. I laughed.
“Christ’s birth!” I yelled with delight, remembering what Christopher had said to me. Everyone was overwhelmingly joyful, and not a quarrel came from anyone’s lips. I could never say again that it was almost Paradise, because I now knew what Paradise looks like. I knew what beauty was, but even though it was not Heaven, I was never so happy in my life. I saw a face, a familiar face darting this way and that in search of one who was no more. The only partial smile among the throng of delightful grins. This was the real moment; this is what I lived for. The only reason I was here was to say the words Christopher spoke. And I must say them…to his mother. I approached her, feeling sturdy ground between my sandy toes. I studied her eyes with crystals of tears in a dark cave. Her head
After the meal, I steadily walked to a small clearing. I was cheerful, but hardly ever spoke. My heart swelled with mixtures of feeling. I was thoughtful, more so than I had ever been in a long time. A lot had happened within the past few days that made me appreciate life more. I truly learned to count my blessings.
There was grass in this clearing that I walked through barefoot. In the middle of the clearing was a tree branch that dangled swings. Mark was on one, with his dog at his feet. Mark sat there, quietly, looking up. The temperature was moderate, and balmy in contrast the England our homeland-and quite different than the sensations of Paradise.
I silently headed towards Mark. The dog saw me, and hurried towards my ankles, sensing I needed a friend. I sat on the ground close to Mark, and his dog seated himself beside me. I laid myself down against the dog’s fur, and rubbed it lovingly. Its short fur tickled my skin.
“Sophia has never been so crushed when she heard that you had gone down with the ship,” he said, looking up towards the sky, much like Christopher did the night before.
I smiled.
“I hope she’s happy now,” I said, burying my fingers in the dog’s soft coat. He gave a small smirk.
“I’m happy now,” Mark said simply, looking at me.
“We are all happy,” I added. I stood up, and stepped a few feet away, and between two thin trees, I gazed out at the shimmering water, past the roughness, and soared into the sky, where images of two figures rejoiced in my vision of Heaven.
“What are you looking at?” he asked. He came towards me, but I didn’t look at him. I just stared at the color of the waves being thrashed about the scenic view. I stood in awe of the beauty of the sky, enjoying one more day on this earth.
“Christopher was right,” I began, “We weren’t all meant for Paradise this minute. I have work here, but I don’t know what it is,” I sighed. There was a small silence. I rubbed my hands against the tree’s rough bark, which softly scraped my hands.
“Ya know, it sounds awful to think that you were going to live just a few short days on those ‘so called’ lifeboats, just to die. I mean, like…I would be terrified,” He said quietly, in a questioning sort of way.
I stared at how the blue-green waves met the distance, touching the dimming blueness of the sky. I thought of how the strong waves swallowed the Ship Magnificent whole, and threatening to take me with it. I thought of its elegant innards and it’s beautiful appearance. I thought of how I rushed through the waters holding Justice’s hand, believing that he would never let me go. He did anyway when he reached the shore of Paradise. Then I thought of Christopher grasping my hand out of fear. He held my hand at his death. That tight squeeze of a warm, affectionate grasp was Christopher’s hold, assuring me that he was all right. He was telling me that he was almost there, and for me to go on with life, not frightened of death. Sad? I was now feeling some grief, but it was overcome with never-ending joy that they were at Paradise. And both Christopher and Justice were standing on the shore, waiting for me. Waiting for that moment when I arrive………….And I one-day will.
“Mark,” I began, turning to him. He stared at me with curiosity, but was soon replaced with a wide grin. I held out my hand, and he curiously reached to grasp it.
I smiled back, “If you’re scared of death, then let me take your hand, and I’ll tell you about a glimpse of Paradise,”
THE END